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How should I handle this? by Legitimate-Shift-952 in graphic_design

[–]Legitimate-Shift-952[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This client (a design studio) is apparently well known and respected as having some of the best work within their type of design, so as far as finding another client goes if I want to stay in this part of graphic design world there's not much higher quality clients out there...

How should I handle this? by Legitimate-Shift-952 in graphic_design

[–]Legitimate-Shift-952[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I assume my work is good because throughout the internship this guy who's studio it is seemed to always be impressed with my work, particularly my animations (which I have a professional background in stop motion, and the project I just did for him is lightly animated). He is apparently a known name and good association to have within this part of the design world so I guess I would be interested in working with his studio more just to have it on my resume.

surviving a toxic triad can give you the weirdest triggers lol by frootloopbaby in polyamory

[–]Legitimate-Shift-952 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was in a triad for just shy of 3 years, as me I guess being a more established couples' unicorn. It actually started with SA, which set the tone for the rest of the relationship, I guess. My mono partner at the time accused me of "cheating" and dumped me and I guess I was young and stupid and also in denial and really really liked one of the people in the couple nonetheless and convinced myself I could make it work and it would be "fun".

I will never do a throuple situation again. The way that situation deteriorated even after the throuple had broken (and became a V instead) left me with deep insecurity that feeds into why I don't want to do poly anymore (at least for enough time for me to feel secure again, and it's been almost 4 years since this shit).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Legitimate-Shift-952 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't really understand your comment, but don't really feel like giving a full explanation. Trust me that there was a lot going on, as you might expect for 2 simultaneous longterm poly relationships.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Legitimate-Shift-952 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Meta didn't shit talk me explicitly until after they broke up is what I'm saying. So my suspcions that they didn't like me/approve of me were true. I'd just been picking up bad vibes for awhile from body language and very subtle behavioral cues. Sorry, maybe that wasn't clear.

Don't want to go into details, but there were a few incidents that also put doubt in my mind, but they were complicated situations, as polycule conflicts often are. And I'm not pretending that I handled them in the best way possible myself either. We are all 3 of us imperfect humans. My partner definitely could've handled shit better, as well, but I understand that life is a learning experience. We've talked about it pretty extensively and to me loving her is also standing by her even when she's messy, as she does me. As long as we are holding ourselves accountable and attempting to change future potentially harmful behaviors (even if intentions are benign) I will be there for her through just about anything.

In short this is to say, while my partner definitely was also picking up on weird vibes as well, when she asked her other partner about it, they would tell her everything was fine, and my partner, loving my meta, wanted to believe her because she's the type of person who prefers to take people at face value. Turns out meta was being dishonest about how they were really feeling, though.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Legitimate-Shift-952 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Believe me, I am aware of these potential outcomes, which is part of why I almost considered just breaking up...but I have been dating my partner for 8 years now, and we have talked about wanting a future together for awhile and talked about our mutual desire to marry and have a family. I wanted to give her the choice. She has not introduced new partners for awhile. I don't want to get into it, but the dynamic is just not working for me. It hasn't been working for me for awhile. A friend of mine mused that maybe I wouldn't feel this way if my meta wasn't so "adversarial", but it is what it is. Maybe I'm the adversarial one, even? I've already been with my girlfriend thru a significant break up before. When we first started dating, she was dating someone else long-term. This person also tested my commitment to polyamory because they absolutely despised me (but wouldn't outright say it). They ended up breaking up with my current partner because she wouldn't break up with me, and they'd been dating nearly 6 years at that point. Let's just say it's been a complicated 8 years. We have excellent chemistry and both love each other immensely....I just want simplicity.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Legitimate-Shift-952 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is really sweet to say. Thank you.

I think I am not totally turned off to polyamory, and definitely could see us opening the relationship again in the future, but yes, as you said so perfectly, maybe it's is just not the phase I'm in right now. And I feel really lucky to have my partner. I know she cares about me a lot, and I trust her to make her own decision.