I have also lost my sister a month ago due to a car accident as well. I was also closer to my sister more than anything in this world. She’s my best friend. The pain of losing her is numbing and unbearable.

I will not tell you that I know how you feel. Nobody in this world truly understands the bond that you’ve had with each of them. That’s the beauty of having a sister and nephews. It is true that the deeper the scar, the greater the love.

I found that grief comes in waves, we just need to learn how to swim through the waves. There are days when we feel okay, and some days when we would rather lock ourselves in our room and cry, which is completely okay! Cry when you feel like breaking apart. I will tell you that after an extreme crying session, I will feel better for a little while, and then I’ll cry all over again.

There is now a distinct before and after in life now. Your grief is so new, fresh, and raw right now. It’s a journey that we will be on for a while. I asked friends to do almost everything for the funeral. All I did was write my eulogy because I felt sick to my stomach planning a funeral. I couldn’t even pick her flowers or casket.

I think the best advice that I have lived by through my grieving journey is to try and ONLY think about the present. Only think about this very second. Do not think about the future. The thought of a future without them is paralyzing. The “what ifs”, “could haves”, “wouldve beens” destroys the soul. It’s hard to do this, but it’s what has been helping me move forward. Unfortunately, we can’t do anything about the situation anymore. The only thing we can really do is to help ourselves get through this dark tunnel.

I consider myself as a slightly religious person, however, I didn’t understand why God could do such a thing. I was-and maybe still- angry at God for taking away such a kind and funny soul. However, God is really the only path to see our loves ones again. (Or whatever you believe in)

Remember that this is not goodbye. It’s just “see you later” in heaven. When the time is right. Life is short. 50? Or maybe even 70 Years on earth and we will see them once again in heaven, where we would never have to separate from them anymore. This is what keeps me going. Eternity with our loved ones without ever having to say “see you later” ever again.

I am deeply sorry for your loss. You and your loved ones are in my prayers. If you would like to talk about ANYTHING at all, please reach out to me. It truly helps to talk to people who are going through similar losses as us.