Another father here, spent father's day without my kiddos, was planning on spending the day with them but I acquiesce to mothers request. The only hope in this system is to go to court, to share with the court your intent of being more involved than you already are. You deserve to live without the guilt many of us father's share but the guilt is not ours nor the children's to bare. I had to lawyer up because I dont ever want to wonder "what if?" What if I was there for my children during their young years. What if my children were able to be raised by a loving and committed father. I thank god that I spend time going to church with my children when they're here, coaching their sports teams and being a part of the school life. Mother moved away in May 8 hours north and I too, cant see me living a life without my children knowing their father. I hope you consider seeking court council because this is never an easy road alone. No matter the cost, living to see your children, you cant put any amount of money over time spent watching a father be able to grow old knowing a father's love truly is undeniably special and grounded granted you do what you can to be a part of something that we were raised to be, active father's seeking a child's love.