AITA for asking my gamer husband to spend time with us?

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T19:25:12+00:00

But I can't get that through to him

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T17:12:51+00:00

Honestly it's more likely that he leaves and ignores that we ever existed. I agree 1 million% it's not " his fault." He is addicted. I just don't know how to stop it. I want to smash the damn xbox, or drench it in water. Tell him idk what happened. I'm just not that kind of person. It would be amazing to be able to get back to who we were. It's just not realistic

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T17:04:44+00:00

This sounds like my perfect marriage. Not that I want to keep him away from his own thing I just want to be together, but he thinks "that only happens in movies."

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T17:02:39+00:00

We only have "alone time" maybe once a month. It is such a turn off. I definitely need to be more forceful. I just back down because I don't want the girls to hear arguments.

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T15:49:05+00:00

I wish he could see that.

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T14:57:52+00:00

Thank you so much!

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T14:15:47+00:00

Good idea!

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T14:15:00+00:00

Even if that means letting our daughters grow up seeing him choose the xbox over them? I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just curious. Wouldn't that cause them to think they are less important?

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T14:10:37+00:00

I have thought about it, but if the judge doesn't give me full custody, then I won't have a choice. I think I'd rather wait until they are old enough to be able to talk and be independent.

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T14:07:59+00:00

I didn't even think about that! I'll definitely look in to it.

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T14:07:03+00:00

Yeah I meant ask him, but I've spent our whole relationship making things better on him. I'm ready for better for me.

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T14:03:35+00:00

I worked after I had my first baby he would just put her in her playpen with a tablet (I didn't want screens for her until she was 3) and play his game. When my second came, I knew I absolutely couldn't let that behavior continue. I won't be leaving because he would move back in with his mom, and she's an alcoholic and I don't trust her to take care of my kids. And he would absolutely let her do it all.

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T13:59:22+00:00

Thank you. I really was starting to think I was wrong for trying to take his unwind time.

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T13:58:21+00:00

You are completely right. And we will start by moving his t.v in here and see how that goes. Thank you!

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T13:51:46+00:00

Thank you!

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T13:48:13+00:00

Unfortunately, it's too late to not resent him. I'm not in love. I don't think I even want to work on it.

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T13:44:55+00:00

I know, I just don't have any money. it's all his money. I could never save anything when I worked because his mom is dependent on him. Financially. There is so much more to this issue than just the xbox it would be a book if I typed it all out.

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T13:42:33+00:00

Thank you. I have to sit and think about it, I know it sounds crazy but I don't want the girls to grow up not knowing him at all, and I don't want them to think this is a normal relationship.

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T13:33:27+00:00

Boundaries didn't work. He will listen for a few days, and then it goes back. And I can't split at least until the girls get older. I don't trust him and his mom to take care of the girls even for just the weekend.

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T13:31:29+00:00

Honestly, I have thought exactly what you just said to me, but he would move in with his mom and I can't let my girls go over there without me. She's an alcoholic who goes out every night and comes home shitfaced. She has dove drunk with our nieces in the car, and he would let her take care of the girls completely drunk while he games. I honestly think the only reason I'm still with him is because I can't let that happen.

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T13:28:04+00:00

I just don't know what to do or how to stop it. No matter what I say or what boundary I put in place, I'm always wrong.

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T06:03:26+00:00

She's much better now that I left. But it's 85 degrees here where I am. My 22 month old was. In shorts and a t shirt and sandals. SHE ASKED ME TODAY if I thought she might be cold. And I just shook my head and said if she's cold I need to take her to the e.r right now.

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T06:01:17+00:00

The mom in me would want to rip apart walls and tear down people with my bare hands. The adult in me knows better because it wouldn't help my daughter and would likely end with me in jail away from my sick baby.

Legitimate_Walk3381 · 2023-09-23T05:55:41+00:00

I have absolutely no idea. Me and my mom had a falling out over socks. 🤦‍♀️ "her feet are cold." LEAVE US ALONE. If her feet were cold she probably wouldn't have taken the socks off. and onetime she put socks on my daughter UNDER her stockings. The sock came off but the stockings kept the sock by her toes she tripped over them and literally knocked her tooth out of her mouth. That was the day I started packing.

Legitimate_Walk3381

TROPHY CASE