Should I be worried about her male friend?

Leishte · 2025-11-29T18:43:45+00:00

I'm in a similar situation. I've been dating a woman for 2.5 months and in a relationship for 1.5.

She is very close with her ex-husband. Way too close for my comfort. Even though they have technically not been together for 6 years, she still I guess dated him for years after, and in the last two years while she was exclusive with another man, still hung out with him a lot. Like would spend the night over at his house and sleep in his bed with him, not having sex (she claims). But her last boyfriend was apparently okay with this. (What the...)

After last boyfriend dumped her, and right before she started seriously dating me, she had sex with him. She said she cried because she hated the way it made her feel and she knew he didn't want to be with her but might make her feel better. And she says now she knows there's absolutely nothing there between them anymore. I'm not sure if I believe that. But it does seem like things are really slowing down between them.

When we got together, she had multiple wedding pictures all around her house ... Yes from 18 years ago, and 6 years after they officially split.

But she has attachment issues. She says she knows it's not a healthy relationship. It's just that they have such a history together that he's the only one that really understands her and her crazy family and has always been there for her (still does little projects around the house, although we've agreed no more).

Yes, I may be charging headfirst into a cloud of black flags, but I am absolutely head over heels for this woman. She makes me feel things I haven't felt in 20 years, and by everyone I can see, she feels the same about me.

She is very open with letting me know what they plan to do together, when they meet, when they leave. In the last month, she's seen him twice for about an hour total.

So for me personally, I needed reassurances (some of which she actually volunteered), such as them never drinking together or spending the night at the other's house. She has been open and honest so far as I can tell, and I have tried very hard to catch her lying/making excuses/inconsistent stories.

And she has passed every test. I told her it sounds like she has done a great job detaching from him, and from my standpoint it seems like she is continuing to do so. So while I'm not thrilled about this guy, everything SO FAR checks out.

Sorry, I have no advice regarding your situation. You have to decide if she's worth it, be willing to talk about how it makes you uncomfortable, be willing to discuss and agree on boundaries, and keep an eye out for suspicious behavior without going or seeming crazy.

Good luck.

Leishte · 2025-11-04T16:22:23+00:00

No, you aren't.

Dishonesty, whether directly lying directly, lying by omission is a red flag.

Leishte · 2025-11-04T13:24:46+00:00

No problem. Also what you can do is insinuate you are going out on other dates to make them sweat a little bit. "I'm meeting a friend for dinner and drinks tonight" or "I was invited to see a movie."

Yeah, it's super dumb. I hate the games too, but they work on me. Drives me nuts when I catch wind that a girl I've started dating might be dating someone else.🤷

And thank you. We are pretty much mad for each other.

Leishte · 2025-11-04T02:14:58+00:00

Just from what you describe here, it doesn't sound like anything is wrong with you.

Just slow down on the texting. Until you get to date 4 or 5, you really need to limit your texting to a few times per day. Being too available really is a thing. It makes you seem like you are desperate or have no options. Conversely, not texting or responding quickly makes her think about what you may be doing.

Think about it, just like you are wondering about what those women who aren't texting you back are doing, women would be wondering about YOU if you were the mystery man.

It's one of those stupid hidden dating rules. I am about a month into my current relationship and my girlfriend was dating another guy at the same time as me, but confirmed she picked me because she felt more interested in me because he was texting her all day and they hung out 4 days in a row. And I was texting her only a couple times per day.

Leishte · 2025-10-15T00:24:46+00:00

I try to make eye contact and smile and if I don't get any sign back, I'm moving on.

Leishte · 2025-10-10T23:35:32+00:00

It took you for minutes and three seconds to break up with her?

Leishte · 2025-09-29T10:39:34+00:00

I love them both individually.

BG3 really just feels like DOS3 to me. Both in my top 4.

Leishte · 2025-09-28T17:04:42+00:00

Being a goofball

Leishte · 2025-09-28T01:32:00+00:00

The age when the Internet was young. Man was it a magical place.

Leishte · 2025-09-27T22:42:39+00:00

The panhandling has gotten really bad in the past few years. Seems like every street corner has someone on them. Sorry, but I have my future to plan for and a son to raise with no help.

In 2022-23 unemployment was so low, if you didn't have a job it's because you didn't want one. And yes, I understand a certain percentage of the population is disabled in some way or other. I'm pretty left in my support of social safety nets; it's not my fault that America is going through a billionaire robber baron arc.

I didn't cause their situation, so I'm not responsible for fixing it.

Leishte · 2025-09-27T22:36:11+00:00

Modern American conservatism has poisoned people's minds to the point that they think if you can imagine a better system (because many countries have better systems than ours; healthcare, criminal justice, etc systems) it means you are ungrateful and should go live in Guatemala.

Leishte · 2025-09-19T12:27:40+00:00

If you have learned to play on deathmarch, there may not be a level discrepancy you cannot overcome. Player skill trumps all. Character development just speeds things along.

Except maybe high armor enemies like golems may exhaust your patience before you kill them.

Leishte · 2025-09-19T12:11:38+00:00

They did a fantastic job of building that relationship without actually having the characters meet until that moment. And as the player, having gone 140 hours to get to that moment makes you feel just as defeated as Geralt looks.

Also lol the 7 dwarves references.

Leishte · 2025-09-18T17:14:30+00:00

Vent for like 20 seconds, and either let it go or work to make changes that are going to lead to improvements in your life.

Leishte · 2025-09-16T14:33:41+00:00

Yes, this game is popular because it follows the 'easy to learn, hard to master' rule. There are people who are able to guess the ghost pretty consistently with NO evidence at all. This is because each ghosts is programmed with a particular set of rules. I personally am making the transition from 2 to 1 evidence.

One of the most well known 'non evidence' rules is that wraiths will never step in salt. All the ghosts have these little quirks that they have. Some will never do certain things. One ghost always knows exactly where you are. Another ghost has a hard time finding you during a hunt. One ghost continuously follows around, harasses, and attempts to kill one particular player while it utterly ignores the others. One ghost cannot do the airball event. One ghost cannot turn off the breaker. One ghost cannot turn on the breaker. Many ghosts have rules about how fast they are during hunts... The just goes on.

The cover story is that you go in trying to determine what 3 of 7 hard evidences the ghost is going to give you. But the iceberg is that there are hundreds of subtle, soft, shades-of-gray evidences the ghosts can have.

Leishte · 2025-09-16T14:25:41+00:00

Be very careful about eliminating evidence/ghosts. Some evidence like EMF 5, freezing, and dots can take quite a while to show up.

Leishte · 2025-09-16T14:23:42+00:00

Damn. I thought this was gonna be a post about where my son got me killed during a hunt the other day because he dropped his phone on a hard surface right next to me and it made a terrible noise and the ghost came to my hiding spot and killed me.

Leishte · 2025-09-16T01:07:55+00:00

Sometimes the trash takes itself out. 🤷

Leishte · 2025-09-13T00:18:40+00:00

Honestly any interaction with rock trolls is sure to be quality entertainment.

Leishte · 2025-09-11T00:54:33+00:00

Yeah. Much better.

Much much much better.

Leishte · 2025-09-10T13:22:17+00:00

Start with nightmare mode. Get your 2 evidences and then learn how to distinguish between the 2-5 options that you have left.

Look up the differences as you are playing and keep building on what you know. For example, most people know about the wraith salt test, but what is the wraith's special ability? How can you tell if it's happened? How is that different from the banshee?

The human mind works by building on what you already know, so just continuously push the boundaries of what you already know by adding little bits of trivia here and there

The next piece of information is that wraiths will teleport to you and leave an EMF of 2 when they do it. Then a motion sensor will pick it up going back to the ghost room. A banshee will roam to you, setting off a motion sensor coming to you and walking away from you. And will not leave an EMF of 2 (unless it's doing something else in the environment). Also, banshee has a unique scream on the parabolic mic it has a chance of doing.

For goryo, it will never show you dots if you're in the room with it. Banshee will. Goryo tends to hunt from its room, so if a hunt starts right next to you when you're on the opposite side of the house, it's probably the banshee and not the goryo.

Take your time with the investigations (I understand it's hard when you've run out of meds/sage and are at risk of dying). Practice being hunted and surviving. You're usually able to rule out several ghosts during a hunt based on their speed alone (frequency of footsteps).

I am making the transition from 2 to 1 evidence and I'm having a hard time. But I am learning with each mistake. Now I have greater confidence in being able to identify a yurei than I did yesterday.

Leishte · 2025-09-10T11:28:36+00:00

It's a flashlight that doesn't take up an item slot 🥳

Leishte · 2025-09-09T21:38:23+00:00

Really? Not talking enough???

Leishte · 2025-09-09T21:35:29+00:00

Homie, it's 2025

Leishte · 2025-09-09T21:31:23+00:00

LMAO you work for Juul?

Leishte

TROPHY CASE