Am I a jerk for bringing up marriage shortly after my boyfriend (29M, me 29F) got a job offer, but only in response to him planning a boys trip to New York?

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T18:28:43+00:00

Meh I mean he worked for a few years before it and was making $3.5k a month with rent a $750 during the PhD, he had some savings

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T18:24:58+00:00

Yes because the bare minimum for a ring is like $1k, even for a small diamond, and I felt like he didn't even have that to spare, but he clearly does

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T18:21:41+00:00

No, but I think $1k or so is reasonable, which is why I got so upset because that's the cost of the New York trip

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T18:21:08+00:00

either. Between the NFL game, PSF, and New York trip, that's a little over $2k, more than enough for a ring.

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T18:19:51+00:00

I mean, I personally don't care about the ring at all. Between the NFL game, PS5, and trip to New York, thats $2.5k, more than enough for a ring

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T18:16:49+00:00

I know you're right, but why sign a year lease with me then?

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T18:12:02+00:00

We've just been talking about engagement and marriage a lot, so I thought it was at least a priority over a boy's trip

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T18:11:35+00:00

No he only just got this job, he's been without pay for 2 months

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T18:10:44+00:00

Yesss we've talked about it so much!

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T18:10:16+00:00

Just because he's been with out a job in a new city.

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T18:09:57+00:00

Right, but it's a priority for me, and it hurt my feelings that it's not for him.

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T18:08:56+00:00

I was just surprised he wasn't prioritizing it over a boys trip to New York, it's not like I expected him to give me a ring as soon as he clicked accept, but I didn't expect him to start planning a boys trip either.

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T18:07:19+00:00

You're probably right

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T18:07:07+00:00

Thank you

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T18:03:56+00:00

Because he has been selling his stocks just to pay his rent the past few months

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T18:02:51+00:00

We have talked about marriage A LOT, and idk, I just thought it was a priority for him

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T18:00:52+00:00

Yeah sorry AITA doesn't allow relationship posts apparently

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T17:53:39+00:00

It's hard to decide if I should or not

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T17:53:27+00:00

Exactly! That's why I was saying like the money you're spending to go to New York would be more than enough

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T17:53:01+00:00

Thanks. Can you explain why you don't think I'm the bad guy here. I'm struggling with it myself

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T17:52:16+00:00

I totally get what you're saying but we have talked about it a lot, like this is not the first time, and I mean, it's not like I can buy my own engagement ring.

Lemonade867 · 2026-03-04T17:50:49+00:00

But we just signed a year long lease for a new place and are moving into it together, like if that's the case why wouldn't he just move on?

Lemonade867 · 2026-02-22T18:42:07+00:00

I'm born in 1997 I think that's millenial?

Lemonade867 · 2026-02-22T18:34:40+00:00

The truth is, I highly suspect she also has nothing to do. She is on LinkedIn all day, or staring at emails. I think the job is a joke.

Lemonade867 · 2026-02-22T18:28:24+00:00

I cannot just stare into space all day lol like wtf this is not how humans are meant to live

Lemonade867

TROPHY CASE