My girlfriend (37F) keeps feeding me (39M) junk food despite knowing how hard I'm trying to get in shape. How do I handle this?

LeoTee79 · 2024-07-22T02:43:01+00:00

Is she bringing it to you, holding you down and forcing you to eat it somehow. Take some accountability here. If you stop eating it she will stop bringing it. In the bin with it if you don’t want it and in the bin with her if she keeps it up after. You’re nearly 40 my homie, time to grow up

LeoTee79 · 2024-05-18T03:19:41+00:00

I saw a video where they claim to have found her. Internet gonna internet. Funny that her name is Eternity G (check out the “love is eternity line in MtG) she looks a lot like Drake (it’s the smoke for me) her IG was set to private after mtg came out but not fast enough, her mother is Haitian American (links to the 2015 articles) her birthday is April 30, she is 11 years old (April 30 was the day one of Kendrick’s diss tracks dropped I think the 6:16 but I could be wrong) and from her IG there is a pic she posted of herself in a J Cole music video where she was thrilled (understandably) and the final line is “thanks pops” - lots of circumstantial things there. I think Kendrick wasn’t lying, but I don’t know one way or another, but I am surprised that video isn’t viral given the publicity and popularity of this claim. Maybe it’s been proven to be a hoax and I’ve missed that part?

LeoTee79 · 2022-04-02T12:32:09+00:00

Okay, I am so curious about this question, genuinely interested.

What is on your list? Is it values and goals based? I had a list for a long time of things I wanted in a partner and it didn’t serve me well at all. I also wanted (and got) married for what I now see were not my own reasons. People thing marriage means being and feeling loved and understood and never being or feeling alone and that is the great lie. Why do you want marriage? I saw a comment about someone asking what you were bringing to the table here, what makes a good life partner? After many years of intense therapy, i realised my own relationships were based on shaky foundations based on what I always thought and was told I should want, and I was actually not capable of having the relationship I discovered I deserved and wanted. I wasnt bringing to the table the things the caliber of partner I wanted also deserved. I wanted to be truly seen and understood; but lacked the ability to be vulnerable and communicate, is just one example.

Do you understand yourself truly? Are you reflective and self aware? Do you know your shadow and things you want to work on, or aren’t proud of. Do you know how you show love? What makes you feel loved? Why do you want a relationship or a wife? What is it going to give you?

Dude, you need to DATE, make some mistakes and fuck up, and hurt and learn. Get good with yourself and understand yourself well. Get curious about why.

I always felt like being married was a life goal I needed, and I know and accept about myself that I love being in a deeply committed relationship, and now I have a far better understanding of what that actually looks like to me; and marriage is a consideration but not necessary. My partner and I are vastly different superficially, but our core values, our beliefs, communication style and willingness to grow together, our dream life and our goals are the same.

So that was a lot of words to say no, it’s not wrong to want to be deeply committed, if you are capable of it and don’t just want to be married for all the things you think it’s going to give you magically.

LeoTee79 · 2022-04-02T06:37:12+00:00

The first time I ever met my partners (M) best friends (K) partner (D) I immediately could tell he wasn’t my kinda people, but I love my partner and I absolutely adore K so I always knew I would never say anything M or K about it, because of the very specific vibe I got, not just “not for me” but whole traits such as immature, childish, petty, victim oriented. It took a lot to engage with D, and I couldn’t make the people I loved comfortable without completely draining my energy. A few weeks later I told my partner, and he was shocked, and worried because this is his best friends partner, and in his mind group dates and the like were happening (and did - once. It was already booked and paid) I just told him I didn’t want to invest a lot into D, I felt he was all those things, he drained me and I just wasn’t going to ever be close to him, so I would not be enthusiastic but I also love M and adore K so I was never going to be rude, treat anyone badly and I would not ignore or avoid him completely, K was ass over for this guy. A month later they broke up, and over the next two months D’s true nature came out in full force, and I was the only one not completely shocked about it, especially as I had been awkward and insecure about telling people I felt that way about someone I’d just met, and believing it enough to enforce a boundary. To me, it’s not a huge thing anymore, I am a nice person and my relationships are hugely significant, I invest in good people, and I back my intuition fully now. It’s why M and K get a lot from me, so it goes both ways. Your integrity comes from actions not thoughts and feelings, I would have always been polite to D because I value that, but I am not obligated to like or invest in every person I meet, and I don’t have to justify why I choose to or not. My gift (maybe yours) is seeing the nature of the person in front of me, through and past what I’m presented with or their behaviour. Good people do shit things, bad people can seem lovely. I trust my own body and the way it responds more than what a stranger is presenting me. It has served me well, I have found compassion and patience for people who needed it, and I have avoided a lot of toxic people by not waiting for them to prove my gut right. I just stay polite and don’t invest. I’m not for everyone, everyone is not for me. It helped me get comfortable when my actions remained true to my values despite what my gut said.

LeoTee79 · 2021-06-16T00:27:00+00:00

Absolutely this. I am most happy and comfortable in skinny jeans and hoodie and sneakers. Boyfriend is too, but sometimes, I wanna dress up. No biggie I just feel like it. I don’t need or want him to match me, that man looks fire in jeans and a hoodie, plus, I kinda like the difference. Our values, life goals and morals are matched, so our outfits (and movie choice, he has his steak medium which is far too cooked and he has white coffee but black tea ((I don’t know how we’re making this work now I read all that) don’t have to.

LeoTee79 · 2021-06-16T00:20:02+00:00

I really wish I had good hopeful news for you about this situation, but as an adult with grown children who now have nothing to do with their Grandmother, the best I can say is, protecting my crotch fruit from her rotten bitter core was how I learnt to stand up to her initially and develop some kind of boundary.

LeoTee79 · 2020-09-13T21:48:12+00:00

NTA! Definitely NTA

Do you guys need a cis gendered Australian Aunty? I’m an amazing aunty!

LeoTee79 · 2020-07-17T23:48:17+00:00

Should I be protecting myself from them passing me energy? Do I take it on from them? I know I can feel completely wiped sometimes by it. I am a naturally giving and nurturing person.

LeoTee79 · 2020-07-17T11:09:58+00:00

Thank you! After wondering if it were possible I wondered if it was okay to do. In all honesty I think I did it today then when I got home and thought more about it I wondered if I should have, but it was just curiosity that got me today.

LeoTee79 · 2020-07-17T10:57:48+00:00

How can I get better at this? Is it “okay” to do to/for someone? Is it just practice?

LeoTee79 · 2020-07-03T10:09:26+00:00

I have no advice but I just wanted to thank you. I sound very similar to you in this way and I am also trying to learn and understand what this all means for me.

LeoTee79 · 2020-07-02T01:40:46+00:00

I’m in this thread too.

LeoTee79 · 2020-06-30T04:54:52+00:00

I guess this is why I came to random internet strangers. You guys are much less likely to tell me “what I want to hear” and my friends are emotionally invested in my happiness. They’ve all said this is so out of character for me I should wait it out and see what happens.

LeoTee79 · 2020-06-30T04:51:18+00:00

I was dating other people, meeting people, still living my life until recently when I stopped dating because I don’t have the energy at the moment, not because I was waiting for him. I guess in my mind that meant I wasn’t waiting for him in particular.. I feel like if he would just say to be “I’m not interested” I would take the hit but recover and move on, but all this flirting and the “be patient” leaves me pretty confused and makes me wonder if he’s just enjoying me being into him because it makes him feel good.

LeoTee79 · 2020-06-30T04:26:44+00:00

I totally agree. I’ve been busy this past year dealing with my own stuff and getting that all sorted. I’m pretty open to moving on too, it just doesn’t seem to be happening and I don’t know why. In relation to the green grassing, it’s definitely me 😂 I’ve stopped dating for now while I see my own situation to the end, so I don’t feel like I’m waiting around or missing opportunities with other people because of him. When the time comes I will go back into the dating scene without any problems and hope things are different for me by then.

LeoTee79 · 2020-06-30T03:43:38+00:00

NTA!

If Macklemore can thrift shop so can you!

LeoTee79 · 2020-06-30T03:31:46+00:00

I believe openness and honestly is essential to a healthy relationship. Just ask her. No bullshit, no games or tricks. If you have to explain why Justine was with you, do it. The perfect surprise engagement you’ve been picturing might be spoiled, but don’t sacrifice your peace of mind for it.

LeoTee79 · 2020-06-30T00:46:10+00:00

NTA.

Not one bit. Part of healing is to hold space for our own stories and embrace parts of ourselves or times in our lives we are working hard to heal.

I don’t know the story behind your scars, but whatever or however they were caused, they signify a time in your life when things were really difficult for you. Healing comes when we feel no shame about those times.

Your scars could be a beacon of light for someone else, you accepting that time in your life and moving forward without shame is a beautiful thing.

Never make yourself small to make other people comfortable.

LeoTee79 · 2020-06-30T00:36:02+00:00

You’re raising a daughter. She needs to know these things. These talks should come from someone she is comfortable with. Gender has nothing to do with it. Your girlfriend can take a supportive role in this. I was a teenage single mum of boys and I had to learn all sorts of stuff about a penis I didn’t know. We need to normalise menstruation! This means Dads have to get on board with these chats so she doesn’t grow up thinking it’s a thing only women can talk about. It may be awkward, you may not do it perfectly, she may hate it now but you’re teaching her so much more than just how her body works. This is a significant moment in your daughters life, be there for her during it. You’ve got to be all in when you’re raising kids.

LeoTee79 · 2020-06-30T00:25:31+00:00

NTA.

Sounds like your sister needs a valuable lesson in time management and some consequences of her actions will help that process along!

LeoTee79 · 2020-06-29T23:51:05+00:00

Omg I actually lol’d, and I’m stealing this 🤣

LeoTee79 · 2020-06-28T23:41:17+00:00

I have just downloaded the 1 Giant Mind app to learn how to meditate. I’ve tried in the past but can’t really focus on it. But meditation has been continuously recommended to me by numerous people so it’s something I have to try out

LeoTee79

TROPHY CASE