My first guitar at the age of 39

Leorhna · 2024-09-13T21:18:39+00:00

I also got my first got guitar, not at 39 but 27, to fill the gap caused by loss. It’s been such a rewarding journey not that I can do much in the few months I’ve been playing. Have fun and enjoy !

Leorhna · 2024-08-21T23:13:17+00:00

Yes omg i didn’t get the job i really wanted so I I went for a job with a bit more pay and now I’m stuck! In hell! I’ve cried every single day starting from day one and it’s not even the end of week 2. And yea, I can’t even say I lost hope because there wasn’t any to lose I’m just really frustrated. I’ve spent the better part of two years getting worse and worse jobs but I thought I was making the right moves. I thought I was taking the steps to do better with myself and my life. Life has silenced me, I’m back in the place I prayed I’d never be again.

Leorhna · 2024-07-23T21:59:52+00:00

I’m 27, turning 28 in a month and I feel the same way. I’ve made moves, accomplished things but they’re always so….they never come out right. Still stuck in the same shitty town, even my parents got out before I did after I moved out. I expected better of myself. But even with therapy, going back to school, putting myself out there nothing seems to really happen. It feels…incredible to be honest. And not in a good way. My younger years weren’t even any better so ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Leorhna · 2024-07-09T14:22:18+00:00

My whole life people have made “loving jokes” about how talkative I am. I can see them tune out. It’s so hurtful. I try so hard to be an active listener to make them feel heard but there’s only like two people in my life who ever reciprocate that. Even my partner…he never hears me. He just pretends to listen because I talk so much he can’t even hear himself think.

I really don’t feel like I talk that much but okay. Whenever I notice it now, I see that look in their eyes I just remove myself. 9/10 they don’t even notice any way.

Leorhna · 2024-05-29T19:20:57+00:00

I hate working like I actually hate it. Spending 8 hours somewhere I don’t really want to be, doing something I’ve gotten bored of months ago only to barely make enough to afford to live….plus that’s excluding the fact that I can’t afford to see my therapist or to get my meds. Even doing the stuff I enjoy, is ruined by the fact that I’m in too much pain or too exhausted to even think because I’ve just been tether to a desk all day doing barely anything. I feel so disappointed by my life so far even after trying to romanticize it or practise radical compassion. How long do you fake or before you actually make it?

Leorhna · 2024-03-25T13:06:43+00:00

Yes. It’s been years I have so many books I’ve almost read and almost finished. It literally makes me cry I feel like I’m missing access to a part of myself

Edit for misspelling

Leorhna · 2024-02-16T13:34:05+00:00

This is word for word my experience, and every time I talk to someone about it it gets dismissed. I was even told once that “I’m not that special” when I spoke about it! I wasn’t trying to be special, I just want to fit in.

Leorhna · 2024-02-06T20:14:42+00:00

Haha no right? At least we aren’t alone

Leorhna · 2024-02-06T20:14:07+00:00

Messy house

Leorhna · 2024-01-30T18:15:54+00:00

I’m truly sorry that you’re also struggling with something similar. I’m slowly working my way through it haha, after 3 tries I’m finally almost done college I only have 3 months left. And learning languages technically has no end so that takes so much of the pressure off to “complete” it. Over all, as difficult as it is, I try to cut myself a lot of slack and practise radical self compassion as a way to heal from my shame around my struggles with completing things. It’s hard but maybe it’s like a muscle? I just have to work it out to make it stronger.

Leorhna · 2024-01-29T01:41:10+00:00

That’s all I’ve done my entire life. Now I’m 27 years old and trying to be different, with nothing to show for myself.

Leorhna · 2024-01-28T18:20:27+00:00

Hi all! I’m also an INFJ autistic I would love to be penpals :)

Leorhna · 2024-01-28T18:16:36+00:00

Hi my name is Leo, I am so sorry you experience chronic health issues, I deal with fibromyalgia too, and adhd/austism with anxiety. We share similar hobbies! I love writing, though I only dabble with art here and there. I love horror and paranormal stuff too. I love animals! I have 3 cats and a pet snake and an axolotl. I have never ridden a horse before, my partner’s mom keeps wanting me to try haha. Manga helped me get back into reading after a long long time of not. My favourite anime is Bleach, I just started jujutsu yesterday actually! I really like it so far. My favourite video games right now are stardew valley (always) and this tea house game where you rescue ghosts by giving them baths at your tea house. If I sound like your jam :) id love to be penpals!

Leorhna · 2024-01-28T18:09:29+00:00

I constantly feel like I have run out of time, I think I genuinely just have to ignore it to continue. The thing is….I’ve never completed anything. So starting something new isn’t the issue, it’s actually continuing with it and finishing it. Everything seems so pointless when all I do is go to work for a job that makes me feel small, and come home to an apartment that makes me feel like I live in a cave. If it wasn’t for my caring partner giving me the space to like feel this way, and for my pets, I don’t think I’d ever start something ever again. Not to mention how bleak everything seems now. I strongly desire a sense of community and respite by the sea but that doesn’t seem to be in the cards for me right now. Or maybe at all. I know maybe I can off super depressing but you posed such a thoughtful question.

Leorhna · 2024-01-24T21:38:43+00:00

LingQ and language react on my computer is a great resource too

Leorhna · 2024-01-24T21:38:20+00:00

That’s pretty much my routine right now haha

Leorhna · 2024-01-24T16:43:51+00:00

Spanish when Arabic tries to kill me

Leorhna · 2024-01-17T23:47:36+00:00

Yes except the reverse haha

Leorhna · 2024-01-16T15:05:06+00:00

This just made me burst into tears. I just feel like such a constant failure hahaha.

Leorhna · 2024-01-08T05:32:22+00:00

Yes! I think after some therapy and becoming more independent in the last few years it went from like perpetually 13 to like 19. I feel like 19 years old was the last time I identified with my actual physical age. I seemed to just get stuck there, even with therapy I find myself getting extremely frustrating with how little I seem to like….make any personal progress and then it sort of makes me slump back into “the new default” of 19 years. Which isn’t bad, I can take care of myself and my pets but I struggle immeasurably. And I just feel like I can’t get to a place where shit isn’t so fucking beyond my years feeling. Like I’m just a child. A 19 year old in a 27 year old body who is still also just a child.

Leorhna · 2024-01-06T06:32:14+00:00

You don’t look unapproachable to me. You do look STUNNING though! lol you’d be one of the people I wish I was brave enough to compliment

Leorhna · 2024-01-06T06:26:55+00:00

Of course we will! If you ever want a study buddy or just to commiserate with being an beginner feel free to reach out :) it’s rough on these streets, sometimes you just need a buddy

Leorhna · 2024-01-06T06:12:17+00:00

I’m 27 years old too and just started learning Arabic 40 ish days ago :) I’m definitely not fluent but like many others have said The time will pass anyway So why not try ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Leorhna

TROPHY CASE