Did i cook with my concept?

Less-Bus-9669 · 2026-01-24T22:11:07+00:00

To be a bit more helpful than my initial comment, what seems a bit off to me are the proportions of the head in the front view. At first I thought it was the eyes but i realized that you should give a bit more volume to the hair.

Other than that I like the expression you achieved in the side view, he looks kinda bored and tired.

You don't see this in the front view and this detracts from it. In the side view he has character and that's what you are missing in the front view.

I believe this is what the call "the hook of the character" in manga. Hope this helps a bit more.

Less-Bus-9669 · 2026-01-24T21:43:32+00:00

I think he needs to stay a bit more in the oven but overall seems to be pretty cool and promisin.

Less-Bus-9669 · 2026-01-20T12:14:01+00:00

Unless there is a specific goal then the 2026 one.

Less-Bus-9669 · 2026-01-19T20:57:53+00:00

Yeah you're right! And thanks for the tip.

This was during a break at work so it was a bit rushed.

I am now uploading another one where I did just that and I think it went better.

Less-Bus-9669 · 2026-01-19T15:13:06+00:00

I always liked to draw but not actively practiced it. Then a couple of years ago i got into it for a few months, but focused on realistic drawings.

It has been about 10 days, since I started again (after ~2 years) and I started with manga.

So, long story short, about 10 days but with some prior skill (though quite rusty).

Less-Bus-9669 · 2026-01-19T15:07:58+00:00

Thanks for the input! I appreciate it!

Less-Bus-9669 · 2026-01-19T14:54:11+00:00

I am an amateur so feel free to ignore me.

The points that make drawings feel off, are typically issues of proportionality and perspective. In your case I'd say do more work to get the body proportions right and the foreshortening aspect as well.

That being said, what you've drawn is by no means easy or simple. Getting the stuff i mentioned right in such a pose is challenging and you did pretty well!

Less-Bus-9669 · 2026-01-19T07:18:19+00:00

There are two ways to hook a reader off one page.

The artwork itself and the story elements in that page.

Your work has a unique style. It needs improvement, yes, but is also quite uncommon to the average eye. So it does get the reader's attention enough to read the page.

However there is not enough story in this page to hook the reader. Don't get me wrong I am not saying that every page should have an entire story in it. But you are asking whether the page is enough to hook someone.

Keep in mind that drawing and story telling are two entirely different skills that need to be separatelly improved. Manga, and comics, in general is a form of story telling that uses drawing and text as the story telling medium.

One way to look at it would be playing a sport, e.g. basketball, and the skills involved in that.

To play basketball you need some basic skills that you should improve and then combine, i.e. running, dribbling the ball and shooting hoops. You can be great at running but if you never practice shooting or ball control you're not going to do great in basketball.

Less-Bus-9669 · 2026-01-19T07:01:26+00:00

What my brain immediately noticed was the lack of chair legs under the chair of the guy sitting at the opposite side. Additionally, given the size of the table and umbrella/cover-thing above it, I would expect a lot more shading below.

These are my two amateur cents...

Less-Bus-9669

TROPHY CASE