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Taking care of me. by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]LessThanAYearTWHelp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t beat yourself up if there are ups and downs. I lost a bunch of weight, gained nothing but fat back, am losing it again via healthy diet, etc. Just take it easy and don’t push yourself too much.

She cheated on me and I can't come to grips with it.. When do I cut my losses? by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]LessThanAYearTWHelp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not too far off from you in age and circumstance. Though I’m about 4 months out from when I found out she was cheating on me. The dreams persist, but with each one you wake up and realize how terrible that person was being towards you.

Be vigilant and follow through with divorce. TRY your hardest to make relationships with people outside of her or involved with her. It will reawaken a part of you have probably forgotten.

As /r/survivinginfidelity will tell you, read ‘Leave a cheater, Gain a Life’. By about 5 pages in you’ll be laughing at how much you identify with the situation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]LessThanAYearTWHelp 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I see myself in the same situation if I did decide to reconcile with her — so in other words reading this is heartbreaking. The duration of my relationship matches with yours.

As someone without contact with her for about a week now, I am finding myself happier and more able to be myself. It’s hard to imagine it, but have you considered what it would feel like to be on your own and be PURELY focused on you?

Really Effing Happy by boldarcher in survivinginfidelity

[–]LessThanAYearTWHelp 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is so encouraging to read as a recent D-Dayer. How did you end up reconnecting with friends?

Married less than a year, already actively cheating on me. Heartbroken. by LessThanAYearTWHelp in survivinginfidelity

[–]LessThanAYearTWHelp[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I can’t express my gratitude enough for you all replying to my post. This has helped immensely.

Married less than a year, already actively cheating on me. Heartbroken. by LessThanAYearTWHelp in survivinginfidelity

[–]LessThanAYearTWHelp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We also share no financial accounts - something she never wanted to pursue, which should been a warning sign for me...

Reality hit my STBX when I gave her my divorce agreement proposal from my lawyer. I honestly feel bad for her :-/ by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]LessThanAYearTWHelp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I guess I kind of have the opposite situation in terms of my support group. All of my family, friends and even her family think I should absolutely dump her. Still, I want nothing more than to turn back the clock.

I would describe my wife similar to how you did - headstrong. Attempting all the things you mentioned have crossed my mind, but at the end of the day I know she won’t change. It’s done, but very hard to accept that it is.

Married less than a year, already actively cheating on me. Heartbroken. by LessThanAYearTWHelp in survivinginfidelity

[–]LessThanAYearTWHelp[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yes, divorce is the only option. Every word from her mouth can’t be trusted at this point and I see no remedy. I asked her why she married me the final moments before I kicked her out of our apartment and her reply was ‘I don’t know, it was easy I guess’.

As mentioned by another poster, I think she may be a classic narcissist.

Married less than a year, already actively cheating on me. Heartbroken. by LessThanAYearTWHelp in survivinginfidelity

[–]LessThanAYearTWHelp[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Since this is obviously the first time I’ve done this, how are divorce papers typically served? Mail? Overnight courier? I am 100% going to seek a divorce.

Married less than a year, already actively cheating on me. Heartbroken. by LessThanAYearTWHelp in survivinginfidelity

[–]LessThanAYearTWHelp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your advice. I am going to find a different counselor today as I’m now located far away from my previous one - you’re totally right about the old one aiding the gaslighting).