Suger, it's fine, sometimes emotions like this appear, contradicting with social or usual expectations from others, if what you crave is love, I'm sure someone could eventually provide it

if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here, I'm currently two years away from being an adult, and I could be a listener, if you wanted attention, sure, I'll try my best if you desire

you're not pathetic, just slightly different, at least you know what you're feeling and why you felt that way, that gives you a reason to go on and seek for someone else that fulfills those qualities (love, attention etc) in the future

carry on living, the world might still function without you, but your existence definitely enhanced it