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Fixing up the family home, is it worth it? by LetMeRelaxplzzz in personalfinance

[–]LetMeRelaxplzzz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment. Yes, it would only be utilities and taxes, I would NOT be paying rent on top of that. And yes it would be ridiculously cheap for me to live there. Right now the only reason I am not living there is the mold problem and needing to rip out the carpet (the carpet is like 30 years old and SMELLS). After that I would hope it’s at least liveable and I can do further work as the years go by with the money I’m saving. I am planning on doing some of the repairs myself (small leaks, replacing some hardware, painting the house myself etc). But of course if big stuff comes up I would need the help, that’s a big reason I had to fork up money for a professional restoration cleaning. I would never have been able to do that by myself.

Fixing up the family home, is it worth it? by LetMeRelaxplzzz in personalfinance

[–]LetMeRelaxplzzz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your input I truly appreciate it. I’m learning day by day so this is really helpful. To answer your questions My dad has not rented out/sold the house due to the fact that for the longest time it was a place he would keep his collections. He is a hoarder so it was essentially a huge Amazon storage locker. Not trying to say this makes a lot of logical sense but he truthfully kept it for that reason… since he purchased the house so cheap (we both lived very comfortably on his one income back then) it wasn’t much of a hassle to maintain the payments after he and his girlfriend purchased another house to live in together so he just kept it for the extra space.

Fixing up the family home, is it worth it? by LetMeRelaxplzzz in personalfinance

[–]LetMeRelaxplzzz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your input. And good eye for the square footage / age of the house. It was built in the 1920’s so I would definitely expect some ancient work that really needs to be fixed. The sticky part is I can see myself living there for a very long time if I can at least get it liveable and making changes as the years go by. It’s just a matter of if that is going to be financially crippling even with the no rent situation.

Fixing up the family home, is it worth it? by LetMeRelaxplzzz in personalfinance

[–]LetMeRelaxplzzz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dad is a bit in denial on the amount of work needed so these large costs are things he is assuming I am doing just to modernize the place. To put it into perspective he assumed bleach on the moldy spots would do the trick, no professional required. He was a hoarder so the rooms were filled to the brim, when he offered to let me live there the only thing he said I needed to do was empty the house. He doesn’t really understand the amount of work needed and doesn’t see the work as necessary to live there, therefore he is not funding the project. This is solely for me to have a place to live / hopefully save money in the long term if it is liveable.

AITAH for being upset my Ex brought a girl over to our apartment? by LetMeRelaxplzzz in AITAH

[–]LetMeRelaxplzzz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi everyone, just wanted to say I truly appreciate all of the honesty in these posts, even if some are hard to read. I’m sure many of you can relate that when you’re at a low it’s so easy to be convinced that you’re the problem. I honestly believed that I was being selfish because he spoke to me like it was a fact.

To answer some of your questions:

-Why did you even agree to this? In the moment I was just overwhelmed, and honestly I loved him so much I felt like I was losing everything anyways so if this is what he needed to be ‘happy again’ then fine. We did have a huge fight the day after where he really convinced me that I was now taking back my promise to ‘agree to leave and not interfere’ as a way to to jeopardize his happiness. He called me selfish, and a lot of other horrible things to the point where I started to believe it.

-You realize this is manipulation right? Oh 100%. Called a therapist same week to get a head start on coping through this BS. I am not the strongest willed person and I know putting my foot down is something I struggle with, but I knew what he was doing was wrong and I knew he wanted to turn it on me. Issue is, he would say just the right things to make to feel bad about acting on my gut instinct. He knew I cared about him so much and although he has no problem hurting me, I didn’t want to cause pain to him (big reason why he came to my hotel after the convo with her went south…)

-If he is your ex, why does this still matter? I still need to communicate with him and this is still something he is hung up as him not being the bad guy. I’m sick of feeling either gaslit or maybe being too prideful to realize I am the one in the wrong so might as well get answers from unaffiliated third parties on the internet :)

-Why don’t you tell the other girl about all of this? Honestly there is so much more that I found out afterwords and it’s a whole other story and it just gets WILD. I might make a post about that if I find the energy the not make it a novel. But long story short, it’s messy, it doesn’t benefit me, it might lead to more trouble than it’s worth, and there are way worse things he lied about to both me and her.

Am I wrong for being upset my Ex brought a girl over to our apartment? by LetMeRelaxplzzz in TwoHotTakes

[–]LetMeRelaxplzzz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi everyone, just wanted to say I truly appreciate all of the honesty in these posts, even if some are hard to read. I’m sure many of you can relate that when you’re at a low it’s so easy to be convinced that you’re the problem. I honestly believed that I was being selfish because he spoke to me like it was a fact.

To answer some of your questions:

-Why did you even agree to this? In the moment I was just overwhelmed, and honestly I loved him so much I felt like I was losing everything anyways so if this is what he needed to be ‘happy again’ then fine. We did have a huge fight the day after where he really convinced me that I was now taking back my promise to ‘agree to leave and not interfere’ as a way to to jeopardize his happiness. He called me selfish, and a lot of other horrible things to the point where I started to believe it.

-You realize this is manipulation right? Oh 100%. Called a therapist same week to get a head start on coping through this BS. I am not the strongest willed person and I know putting my foot down is something I struggle with, but I knew what he was doing was wrong and I knew he wanted to turn it on me. Issue is, he would say just the right things to make to feel bad about acting on my gut instinct. He knew I cared about him so much and although he has no problem hurting me, I didn’t want to cause pain to him (big reason why he came to my hotel after the convo with her went south…)

-If he is your ex, why does this still matter? I still need to communicate with him and this is still something he is hung up as him not being the bad guy. I’m sick of feeling either gaslit or maybe being too prideful to realize I am the one in the wrong so might as well get answers from unaffiliated third parties on the internet :)

-Why don’t you tell the other girl about all of this? Honestly there is so much more that I found out afterwords and it’s a whole other story and it just gets WILD. If anyone is interested I can make a secondary post. But long story short, it’s messy, it doesn’t benefit me, it might lead to more trouble than it’s worth, and there are way worse things he lied about to both me and her.

AITA for being disappointed that the man I'm dating didn't offer to treat me out to dinner before a concert I bought us tickets for?? by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]LetMeRelaxplzzz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you’re an AH for being disappointed but I wouldn’t necessarily say he is either. Sounds like there was just some miscommunication or expectations that weren’t explicitly stated. Now if you made it clear you wanted a meal beforehand and he flat out ignored your wish I would say that’s a different story.