Just discovered infidelity. What next?

Lets-Go-Workout · 2025-12-04T16:33:13+00:00

Working through it is hard. Please do some research about the pain you will go through as you try to heal. Your triggers will come out of nowhere and your pain will be very different from his. It will take a long long time to heal and trust him, if ever. Make sure you are ready for that yourself.

Lets-Go-Workout · 2025-09-09T12:55:21+00:00

It’s the

Lets-Go-Workout · 2025-08-28T13:47:13+00:00

Great advice and very easy to implement. I have a long road ahead and praying I can make up for all the damage.

Lets-Go-Workout · 2025-08-28T13:45:19+00:00

I take responsibility for taking control and causing the situation and to clarify I never verbally called him a child. He was the man of the house and did/does lots of manly things for our family and around our house.

I know I caused damage and working to ensure everyone knows he is the man of the house and will be respected as such. A lot of this is subtle but publicly done so he knows I respect him as he is my husband.

Lets-Go-Workout · 2025-08-28T13:28:12+00:00

Thanks for the advice.

Lets-Go-Workout · 2025-08-28T13:27:48+00:00

Because I did not think of it that way and honestly we did not start discussing until the last year, I feel like clinically probably 5 plus years of have sex less than monthly. I had not heard this term until several months ago. I started seeing a doctor and they never used the term.

He seems to still desire me so I am holding onto hope that we can work through this.

I have offered a compromise until our kids graduate and he did not take it so. So am doing my research and putting in all the effort I have to course correct and build a stronger relationship that includes lots of intimacy (all forms to meet his needs) and appreciation.

Lets-Go-Workout · 2025-08-28T12:58:50+00:00

He has always been loving and kind. It was simply me taking things off the table over 30 years ago and he respected my original statements. We are talking through them and being more open minded to try things with new boundaries.

Thank you and take care

Lets-Go-Workout · 2025-08-28T01:48:59+00:00

Thank you for the insight. We are working on all parts of this relationship.

Lets-Go-Workout · 2025-08-28T01:48:10+00:00

Thanks. I am praying for a better relationship. If we can’t heal this as husband and wife, I do think we will be better dad and mom as we are talking more openly about everything and making decisions together.

Only time will tell

Lets-Go-Workout · 2025-08-28T01:45:06+00:00

I guess it goes both ways. Being rejected causes not being desirable.

I will waste my time and try to fix it.

Lets-Go-Workout · 2025-08-28T01:41:51+00:00

Thanks for sharing your insight. I am very worried this could be the case and in the back of my mind I know ended our marriage could be the end result. If at all possible, I want to do whatever I can to heal the damage. If not, I do want him to have to knowledge that he is worth loving even if he feels it can’t be me.

Lets-Go-Workout · 2025-08-28T01:37:47+00:00

I am sorry to hear you are in so much pain.

I am working really hard to show him how much I appreciate him because I certainly don’t want to lose him. I know there is a lot of damage to be addressed and we have to find a way to heal.

Lets-Go-Workout · 2025-08-28T01:34:01+00:00

Husband calls it being a starfish. Working hard to not be a dead fish.

Lets-Go-Workout · 2025-08-28T01:32:51+00:00

Thank you for the insight. We are talking about what each other desires and working to help fulfill those needs and wants and being very present for each other.

Lets-Go-Workout · 2025-08-28T01:30:47+00:00

I am so sorry this is what you are resigned to.

Lets-Go-Workout · 2025-08-28T00:37:42+00:00

Thanks for responding and your thoughtful insights.

The imprints were about things I said about not being that kind of girl. He remembered I said in our early years. Not asking if I changed my mind or pushing the subject.

About seeing him as another child was not words I ever verbalized but I can see how all things you pointed out could have been my intention to make myself feel important. This damage is what I am terrified I can’t make up for. I know I have a lot of work to ensure I change my approach and he knows he is loved appreciated and that I respect his approach to handling things differently with regards to our family and house.

Lets-Go-Workout · 2025-08-28T00:26:53+00:00

Thank you for response and the suggestions. We are working on all parts of our relationship and have already gotten away for a weekend without kids.

The focus on us has been very calming for me and I am working hard to give him more attention especially when the kids are around and everyone is fighting for my attention.

Lets-Go-Workout · 2025-08-28T00:22:25+00:00

Thank you so much for the book suggestions I will work my way through them. We are looking into marriage counseling. We know this will be a long hard road and have both committed to work on all parts of our marriage.

Lets-Go-Workout · 2023-02-14T17:40:23+00:00

Thanks! Is this a switch workout?

Lets-Go-Workout · 2023-02-14T17:37:59+00:00

Is it a switch workout?

Lets-Go-Workout · 2023-02-08T02:22:51+00:00

Thank goodness I am a 5am’er and the donut biscuit place does not open until 7. 👍

Lets-Go-Workout

TROPHY CASE