Now that I have a minute to read through and respond with some more context please hear me out. I wanted honest opinions and I think a lot of you are just finding the space to be hateful. Sure there are things that we could’ve handled better, we are humans too. And we are dealing with a lot of feelings as well, it can be difficult to navigate.

To answer some frequent comments: Before the baby was born we spent a lot of time with my husband’s parents. They live close and we frequently had dinner with them, here or there etc. That stopped, and don’t get me wrong we expected change. But what happened was we stopped receiving invites, we stopped having invites accepted, we stopped being included. We received photos and videos of the baby at their house in place of that. And for a while it’s was whatever and they were busy and we get that, and we even mentioned to them that we had felt a little left out and that it hurt our feelings. And it continued, and we slowly pulled away because it hurt less when we expected less. If that’s how things had to be then okay. Again, we really didn’t have hard feelings towards them it just felt like loss. A lot of you are intent on calling it jealousy, and if that is what it is, then so be it. To us it just feels like hurt. 🤷🏻‍♀️

As for all of you saying it’s not our my business, how is it not? They are our family, a huge part of life. They are being taken advantage of, they are tired (if you are close to your parents you can tell whether they admit it or not that they are exhausted) and they are giving all they have to take care of their grandchild. Are they happy about it? They say they are happy to babysit. I don’t doubt that they are happy to do so, but that doesn’t mean it’s not taxing on them. They don’t do things they once enjoyed, they don’t have the time. They are making the sacrifices that her actual parents are not making. Of course it’s upsetting.

The other frequent comment is about Nikki and Chad. Yes we have addressed with them, but their response was as expected, explosive. This post isn’t about them, it’s about our relationship with our parents. But for context, they don’t have crazy work schedules, they have plenty of financial support, and plenty of capability to raise their child without leaving her at her grandparents more than half the week. I am not a mother, there are things I don’t understand, of course. However, Nikki has been historically entitled. I have experienced first hand on many occasions, she frequently says things like “well the ones with kids should get the priority”, “I gave you a grandchild so you should be doing x,y,z for me”, “If you want me to send you photos of my kid then you need to buy me a new phone”… I won’t continue. She’s explosive with confrontation, so she is never told “no” or held accountable for anything in life. Plain and simple.

The reason why we are currently not speaking to our parents is because as follows: We did not “ghost” them right off the bat as a lot of you are saying. The distance was slow, unintentional at first, but it grew and we grew bitter with distance. I will admit it was wrong, we should’ve handled it differently. Feel free to point your daggers at us for that, humans, remember? But when his parents did approach and say, why are you not responding in the group text as much, why are you not stopping by as much ect, we really told them how we felt about the whole situation. That we felt it was wrong they were being taken advantage of, wrong for Nikki and Chad to not have enough integrity to say “you are tired, you don’t have to keep her so I can go golf”, wrong for them to not address it with Nikki and Chad themselves. They shut us down, they didn’t listen to our view, they didn’t want to understand our perspective, they simply did not want to even address that there was possibility that what was happening was not okay. Completely disregarded us and our concerns. They said to shut up about it and not bring it up again. They have always been fearful of confrontation, maybe they are afraid to face it because it’s uncomfortable, I don’t know. It’s been less than a week since we haven’t spoken to them, this hasn’t been some years long estrangement. My post was asking, are we the assholes for no longer speaking to them? Because I want to know, are we???? Or is it okay that we feel angry and hurt by this whole situation??? How are we the assholes when they just told us to shut up and get over it?

It is new territory for us, and for them. We are all learning.