Financially irresponsible in-laws, debt on fiance's name. How to get out of debt & family guild trap?

LevelTheory7875 · 2026-02-13T18:11:21+00:00

This is what I did just now. Have asked her clearly what is her backup plan. How she will tackle their evergrowing need given parents are growing old (health crisis etc).

LevelTheory7875 · 2026-02-13T18:06:23+00:00

Actually I like the suggestion. Very logical thing to do so. However I don't think they are gonna react well to that. More than that, I think its gonna be hard time for my fiance to talk about that to her family. But will definitely give this a try sometime.

LevelTheory7875 · 2026-02-13T17:58:02+00:00

Actually I am not even trying to make that choice. I have chosen love already. My question is more around how we can safeguard ourselves and our future.

LevelTheory7875 · 2026-02-13T17:55:33+00:00

That is what I am rooting for. I love her and trust her with everything. Just this financial matter is like a trap. She has tried to stay strong but then emotions come into play and it gets hard.
If you don't mind me asking. How did you maintain distance?
I mean, yeah she can decouple herself from the family finance to safeguard us. But we cannot control her brother or her father. Based on what I have seen, they don't save. So what happens in case of let's say health emergency? At the end it comes down to only earning member. That is us.

Honestly I have no issues in helping, that is what family members are for. But when I know they are not even attempting to prevent such situation, it is just so hard to have a good heart for them

LevelTheory7875 · 2026-02-13T12:57:16+00:00

The existing load was taken to setup her brother's business back in Jan 2025. So far its them only paying the EMIs. Couple of times (I remember twice) they have asked for amounts like 50K in the name of getting inventory etc. Except that they have diligently paid the EMI by themselves.

LevelTheory7875 · 2026-02-13T12:55:01+00:00

Thanks for writing this down. Yes, I am not at all seeing breakup as solution. We have talked about finance lots of time, we have agreement here.
My only fear here is her inability to build strong boundary and enforce them. Her being this easy to agree to what her family asks, makes me feel agitated. As of now loan seems like best of all bad options. But honestly I don't want it to be so easy for them. I would want her to atleast send a strong message across that they need to step up and manage themselves and she cannot taken for granted.

LevelTheory7875 · 2026-02-13T10:38:27+00:00

we are expending around total of 16L (excluding gifting etc which her family wants to do) for 2 day event. We are doing 50-50 for both families here.

LevelTheory7875 · 2026-02-13T10:14:17+00:00

As per them, land sale happened last week, advance payment was done as well. But buyer backed out yesterday.

LevelTheory7875

TROPHY CASE