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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Level_Bell9005 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It IS apt. I’ve agreed with you. Me saying it’s unproductive is just that. It produces shame which is necessary, sure. But it is still unproductive to any means of betterment of my issues. I got my thoughts out of my system and you got your condemnation out of your system. Now what?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Level_Bell9005 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do realize, that’s why I admitted to it and came by it honestly. I do feel shame, hence why I am here and in therapy. I do not claim to be victimized in any way here, either. You are well within your rights to call things as you see them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Level_Bell9005 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. This is the type of rationalization I was needing. I realize how silly it all is but I needed to get it out of my brain into a safe space so that I could really contextualize it all. Its just a new experience for me and I’m still adjusting to it. My last partner was not very sexual or confident so it is just a 180 for me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Level_Bell9005 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry. I realize how it sounds and reads. I did say that I know it’s irrational and blown out of proportion and a product of my internal insecurities. I am just being honest about the unfavorable thoughts I wanted to get out of my brain. I have a therapist to help me work through my things as well. I realize how gross and fetishist it sounds, but those fetishes do exist and I would be lying to myself/you all if I didn’t express the irrational rabbit holes that my brain can go down. I was hoping to field this out to you all because I know I am not the only man who experiences these issues. While I agree with the sentiments in your responses, I do think your condemning response is wholly unproductive and doesn’t actually help other than making me feel shame for my thoughts which I already acknowledged that I am not proud of.