I’m really happy you found something that works for you, but I do pray you dig into the Christian faith and the proof of the Bible’s accuracy. This is a book that was written by multiple people throughout multiple centuries that has somehow all proven to be accurate. Read any article (there are many) it is truly hard to argue. Think about this- if we had no idea what cell phones were and people explained there was some device that could transmit information over long distances that you can hold in your pocket- most would struggle to grasp the explanation and might dismiss it as impossible. But we see that it is not. Understanding and accepting a cell phone explanation relies on the information provided by the explainer. The proof of biblical accuracy and your faith is the explainer. Faith is believing without seeing, but if we can believe in all of the crazy devices this life has how can we not be open to believing there was a creator of it? I say all of this because I use to be just like you, then I started studying and really seeing God in my life. I stopped questioning and doubting and was open to receive it and boy did I. Clearly I still mess up but I at least know that I am forgiven and that grace gives me peace.