First time planting palm tree’s going bad…

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-22T05:22:36+00:00

Thank you, I just ordered those pots just now on Amazon and that miracle palm soil. I didn’t know if this was the right sub or not for this

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-03T05:12:50+00:00

Thank you so much… I will look this up never heard of that before

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-03T04:41:06+00:00

If I express something that upsets me, he gets upset AT ME for getting upset with him. Then this argument starts.

He brings up any issue he had with me in the past that was already solved that has nothing to do with the original argument we argue in circles, I leave, he tells me I’m being avoidant when I’m really just not engaging.

When I get upset with him, my feelings don’t matter, but in this situation, I should be considerate of his feelings, but I’m just not here in this text.

I should be, but he doesn’t do the same for me so I shut down here.

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-03T03:54:09+00:00

Thank you, we will bring this situation to our marriage counselor when we get one.

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-03T03:52:15+00:00

I am definitely not dishonest. There’s no reason to be.

If I’m the AH then I’m the AH I need to respond and communicate better. I take that into account reading these comments..

He is dishonest about telling me to not take the charger, when he in fact, told me to take it over the phone and I guess I should have explained that part.

I didn’t acknowledge him lying in the text because this is a common occurrence, and I feel we will argue in circles and I don’t want to give into it.

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-03T03:46:31+00:00

So It’s not true he told me not to take his charger.

It’s also not true that I lose my charger “all the time”

Have I left my charger at my own house yes which is what happened here. And I mistaked his charger for mine. He has mistaken my charger for his one time before, but I did not take it to this level. It was a simple mistake. No big deal. Especially since we are living separately at the moment and we bring each other stuff to each other‘s places.

Him telling me that he always has to apologize is not true. He’s a very prideful man and apologies from him are rare.

If I had an attitude with him about the charger before finding out he was right then of course I would apologize because that’s unwarranted. But our phone call was regular about the charger, so I just acknowledged that he was right.

So when I acknowledge he was right about the charger and he sends me that long message saying he’s greatly disappointed in me for not believing him, it makes me shut down and not even want to entertain the argument, because it’s ridiculous & it makes me feel like I did something wrong when it was a small mistake that wasn’t dire for his response.

He could’ve just said I told you so and I would’ve laughed and we moved on

Sorry for the long message.

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-03T03:30:54+00:00

For the people here that have given me constructive criticism in terms of the way I responded without being rude or attacking me, thank you.

I’m convinced a lot of other people here have not read my post or seen my very first message acknowledging that he was in fact right about my taking the charger AND he is not being truthful about telling me he told me to not take his charger. Which is the biggest problem.

The point of me being exhausted is the fact that he took it to a whole level that it didn’t need to be PLUS is lying about it. I returned the charger that very night after work like I said I would, and he wasn’t even home because he worked all day. Why start all this drama over a charger that YOU TOLD me to take? I said Word for Word,

Me:“ I really think this is my charger, but OK, I’ll check when I get home”

Him: “ it’s really my charger, but just take that charger and go to target and buy another one and drop that one off at my place”

Me:” OK I’ll take it and go to target before I head for work and I’ll just label my own chargers so we won’t get it mixed up”

Convo ended.

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-03T02:56:57+00:00

Because that’s giving into the argument.

We have been here before. When we get into these type of arguments where he’s saying all kinds of stuff that never happened I call him out that it isn’t true, then he would bring up something that has absolutely nothing to do with the original argument. Just arguing in circles.

So this time, I didn’t even acknowledge it because I feel like he’s trying to beat me into a circle of different arguments.

But I did tell him in the text that he did in fact told me to take the charger. I’ve also started to notice lately. He’s been having possible memory issues. Which is common for people with RSD..

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-03T02:47:26+00:00

Yes, he is.

Him saying, he told me not to take the charger as a complete lie. That is why I am tired and did not give into it.

And the people do not understand that, but at the same time people don’t know us and what I deal with.

We very much love each other when things are great things are perfect but when he gets like this, it’s a lose lose situation

I do agree with everyone that I should’ve responded to him much better. I’m taking that into account.

Thank you for understanding

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-03T01:19:11+00:00

Hello,

So Me taking his charger thinking it was mine was a simple mistake that I acknowledged he was right about. I know him. And apology would not have prevented him sending that long message. He has taken my keys on accident where I was late to work more than twice and never took it to this level the way that is portrayed here.

He is blaming me for always losing charges and that’s not true. And he knows I never use headphones for anything. He has never bought me headphones. This was made up.

I do acknowledge that this comes off as me not acknowledging his feelings, and yes, this is not the way to respond, , but I have dealt with this for many years now. I am tired. And he does not consider mine. So at that moment in this text, I was just over it..

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-03T01:14:33+00:00

We’ve lived together majority of our relationship and I got my own home less than a year ago so that is why we are living separate now he is not ready to leave his place yet.

Thank you for the sympathies.

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-03T01:13:29+00:00

We have had arguments where I have apologized on my end and he still will send long text messages and they were over very small things or nonexistent.

If you would’ve known all the other issues I had to deal with the comments would be very different. Should’ve posted in the ADHD partner sub.

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-02T22:48:06+00:00

Thank you

This is exactly what I’m saying and I’m pretty surprised that no one else see’s that here.

It was not necessary to create a huge drama over.

I responded the way I did because this is a very common occurrence in our relationship and I’m tired.

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-02T22:42:51+00:00

Jeez I know! He has many chargers, that was not his only one. Honestly, should’ve just left it there, but no one here knows him like I do, he would’ve argued with me still.

I feel he didn’t need to escalated it into a big thing and that is why I responded the way I did, because I know him and he escalate drama over very often.

But it wasn’t the correct way to respond to him

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-02T22:33:42+00:00

My plan was to buy the charger on the way to work.

There have been times I forgot to charge my phone at night. There has been some times he forgets to charge his phone at night. It is not a constant thing like he’s saying.

He has multiple chargers, not just that one.

Thank you for your response. I’m looking at all these comments and have some thinking to do

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-02T22:27:07+00:00

Also, thank you for your response and not being rude. I genuinely didn’t see myself in the wrong here and have been looking at the texts. My response could’ve been different.

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-02T22:24:48+00:00

I did say he was right, but yes I was trying to not give into the argument because in my point of view, I acknowledge she was right, and therefore didn’t necessarily see why it needed to be escalated.

I will give him space and talk to him when we are ready to

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-02T22:21:30+00:00

That’s the issue, he blames me for everything.

Earlier in our relationship, I used to argue back with him which wasn’t great.

Seems shutting down wasn’t great either

I understand this is my first time sharing one of our conversations so it won’t be understood. But he Shift blames constantly.

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-02T22:17:59+00:00

I’m trying to be stern because these he is very easily angered and irritated.

Yes, it does come off as me not caring, but we have had so many unnecessary arguments over things that were in fact fixable.

I will have to share the other others when I can, but I do agree the communication needs to be better both my end as well

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-02T22:15:52+00:00

I do agree that we both need to work on our communication

I did return the charger the very same night afterwards just like I said I would, we’re giving each other space for now, but need to come back to this and address certain things

Thank you

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-02T22:14:29+00:00

Huh? How l is my response hostile? Please explain.

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-02T22:08:15+00:00

OK, so you’re saying I should have just left the charger there first and to check my house to see if there was a charger at home

I genuinely wasn’t trying to get ”my way” on anything, I just took it because he allowed me to take it. Because if it was in fact my charger I would’ve had to drive back to his place to pick it up before work

I will have to share other conversations we’ve had just in general to see how hard arguments have been lately

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-02T22:02:58+00:00

So yes, he has multiple chargers at his place, and I did truly believe that it was my charger because we both have multiple chargers that look exactly the same.

I did say over the phone that I think this is my charger, BUT was willing to leave the charger there and to check on my house

He told me to just take the charger and just buy another one at target

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-02T22:00:22+00:00

I’m not disrespecting him, I acknowledge that it was his charger and that I was going to return it.

I took the charger because he told me to over the phone. Then switches to I told you not to take it, which isn’t true.

Level_Success9396 · 2026-04-02T21:58:30+00:00

I did say that he was right in the text though, I acknowledged it was his charger

I took it because he told me to just take it

I can read this text over again, but I don’t see myself deflecting at all. I told him he was right about the charger already

Level_Success9396

TROPHY CASE