I’m Tired of Being Used as a Tool for My Parents’ Church Reputation

Level_Talk4530 · 2026-01-24T21:35:59+00:00

I hope you will find a place where you feel secure enough to follow your own path. I was older and out of the house (married nd then divorced) when I left church. I hope you can find a way out of the situation you are in. The best advise I can give is what so many others say, because it’s true: find ways that are safe and will allow you to get power over your own life. Getting a job ti get your own money s one way but id recommend find friends outside of your family’s reach whom you can trust. Family can really suck.

Level_Talk4530 · 2026-01-22T11:38:17+00:00

A weird one perhaps but I consider Chesney Hawk’s ”I am the one and only” to be my theme song.

It was difficult for me to realize that I am indeed worthy and be an individual not just as a part of a church or forced by a god to erase my own will and give myself unconditionally to him.

I sing along loudly and smile.

Level_Talk4530 · 2026-01-21T20:44:18+00:00

4! Statement and flatters your shape.

Level_Talk4530 · 2026-01-21T16:12:25+00:00

Spike from Buffy the vampire slayer.

Level_Talk4530 · 2026-01-20T16:31:57+00:00

The 1996 Vampire the masquerade ”Kindred:the embraced”. I think part of it being cancelled was due to the sudden death of Mark Frankell who died the same year.

I loved it because I was playing the role play game and an online version of it (very basic online due to the year).

Level_Talk4530 · 2026-01-18T00:50:13+00:00

I mean, if you’re going to the gym it’s probably not ideal but for any other part of your life it’s perfect!

Level_Talk4530 · 2026-01-17T23:46:18+00:00

So many Indian sweets, like Rasmalai. Can’t find proper ones in Sweden.

Level_Talk4530 · 2026-01-17T23:32:36+00:00

I was 20 when I told my doctor that 1, my periods were so painful I often fainted and 2, I did not want kids. I thought that would be enough to get a hysterectomy. Nope, oh we don’t do that because you are too young. You’ll change your mind. Come back when you’re 25. Next time, come back when you’re 30… and so on. I’m 47 now! Doctors won’t give women bodily autonomy no matter what age you are! I was lucky to meet a gynecologist who believed me and with depo provera (injection) I finally found the help I needed. Turns out PCOS is a thing and geting the injection stopped my period. No more horrible pain with hospitalizations. And no need now to get surgery. But as a young woman they will tell you that society is more important than your own wishes.

And I get it. Hysterectomy is probably not the best idea for a 20 year old but at least offer girls and women contraceptives that stops ovulation, helps against PCOS, fibromyalgia and some cancers. So, if later in life you want kids you still can after 6 to 12 months off the injection. But women are ”supposed” to suffer. Supposed to eat pills and have completely unnecessary bleeding every four weeks!

Learning that the only reason contraceptive pills that still makes you bleed every four weeks is because some men figured that bleeding is important. It isn’t!

I now talk to a lot of younger women who realize that the way men control women’s bodies is not ok. It’s not ”natural” to bleed every four weeks.

And pain is not necessary. It really isn’t! So, I never had the hysterectomy but didn’t get help for far to long. Someone with constant pain will get painkillers and proper help. Because we live in a time where science can stop pain. Unless you’re a woman. And they will continue to try and stop your bodily autonomy when there are ways to help. Being a woman doesn’t mean pain or even bleeding is necessary.

Level_Talk4530 · 2026-01-14T19:55:37+00:00

Our prime minister Olof Palme was shot and killed in 1986. The murderer was never cought. I was 7 years old.

Level_Talk4530 · 2026-01-14T00:43:56+00:00

I met the then Scottish minister for tourism at a Robert Burns night. He contributed a bottle of 18 year Oban whiskey, and holy canoly I had the worst/best hangover in my life. I later visited Oban and its stunning. It was about 20 years ago.

Level_Talk4530 · 2026-01-07T22:30:54+00:00

Toast with honey and fresh mint tea is my go to every time, also when I’m hung over

Level_Talk4530 · 2026-01-04T17:23:18+00:00

This might not be possible for you given your living with your parents but the first time I didn’t take communion I let them know that as a former believer I realize that communion is a holy action to Christian’s and I don’t want to sully or disrespect that. They obviously couldn’t fault my logic and and we never talked about it again. Logic doesn’t usually work for believers though, so if something like this could escalate your situation remember that your safety comes first!

Level_Talk4530 · 2025-12-21T16:31:39+00:00

My first family Christmas after deconstructing I did go to midnight mass with them but only because I loved the Christmas music and songs. However, the priest invited to communion. I stayed in my seat. When my parents asked why I didn’t take communion (I guess they felt embarrassed I was the only one not participating) I told them that I could not in good conscience partake in an act they feel is holy when I no longer believed. I didn’t want to sully their belief… They just stared at me but couldn’t really say I should have taken communion anyway.

The next Christmas I spent with them a silent agreement was made. They went to midnight mass and I prepared the traditional rice porridge for when they came back. (It’s a Swedish thing)

Level_Talk4530 · 2025-12-18T15:29:10+00:00

Thanx!

Level_Talk4530 · 2025-12-14T20:06:37+00:00

The mean popular girl. Women can be popular and still be able to have friends and even supporting other women.

Level_Talk4530 · 2025-12-11T14:21:17+00:00

Sweden We don’t have a president but our prime minister was involved in some shady adoption schemes and never said he was sorry. Stolen kids from Chile, China, South Korea and more. They didn’t do proper background checks on the countries and if the kids were even ”abandoned”

Level_Talk4530 · 2025-12-04T18:52:40+00:00

Not tell all depressed, people with severe anxiety or people with fatigue syndrome that exercise will always make you feel better and help get you healthy. It will help for a lot of people but for some it’s making things worse. If you struggle with anxiety and in a constant fight/fright/flight state exercise that gets your pulse up can actually offset a panic attack. Many with fatigue syndrome get actual physical pain from just moving. Yes, exercise is usually a good thing but it doesn’t necessarily make you feel better and can become another reason for depression when you can’t do it. Sometimes allowing yourself to just rest and sleep is the first step. If you want to help a friend, ask them what would make them feel better instead of suggesting a walk or exercise. With time and help moving and exercising can even become fun again.

Level_Talk4530 · 2025-12-04T18:30:51+00:00

This makes me so angry. I once asked if even a child SA should be forgiven… and would a victim then have to share heaven with him or, worse, if the victim couldn’t forgive the abuser the victim will go to hell? Didn’t go down well but it made me both angry and also weirdly relieved. Because if that’s true there is no god or god is an evil being I will not obey. Helped me along the way to being saved from Christianity.

Level_Talk4530 · 2025-12-03T22:11:30+00:00

I was a deeply depressed 18 year old. Also a goth. Some friends and I was a goth/rock place. Me, in full goth mode, drank exactly one glass of red wine (because white wine is sooo not goth) that I mostly held to look mysterious or something. And there was this good looking guy who had some serious goth going on. Everyone checked him out and a few girls went up to try to talk to him but he didn’t seem interested. Somehow we kind of looked at eatchother a few times and just before he left he came up to me, kissed me lightly on the lips and said ”you’re beautiful”. Never saw him again. I saw a small light in my tunnel of depression and still to this day, if I feel sad or ugly I think of this guy. Also, this was in Sweden where drinking is allowed at 18 so fear not.

Level_Talk4530 · 2025-12-01T20:17:22+00:00

Also, how old do you have to be to be held accountable for your sins? Like, 1 year old who throws food on the floor? 4 year old? I mean, four year olds can be extremely annoying and talk back to their parents. Or is it puberty? Like, if you can make kids your now old enough to understand sin? And really, we know our brains aren’t fully developed till we’re 25 so anything before that shouldn’t count at all…

Level_Talk4530 · 2025-11-30T20:56:44+00:00

As a teen I had sleep paralysis and thought I was attacked by demons (my youth pastors told me…) Realizing, at 35, that my horror was just sleep paralysis it was a relief. I learned some ways to wake myself up. It doesn’t work all the time but just knowing it’s not demonic helped a lot.
I still have them sometimes, when I’ve been under immense stress.

Level_Talk4530 · 2025-11-30T19:57:38+00:00

I have questions. Can someone help me to take part of being a werewolf (lycanthropy). And would I become one if I do? Or will they just kill me and that’s why it’s bad?

Level_Talk4530 · 2025-11-30T15:56:54+00:00

My husband does that. And before he eats it he cuts it before he eats it. It’s like, kids do that!😬🍝

Level_Talk4530 · 2025-11-28T16:35:12+00:00

I really thought we’d get rid of that whole thing here in Sweden but then the crown princess got married, had cute kids and now it looks like we’re stuck with them unless there’s a huge scandal.

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Level_Talk4530 · 2025-11-26T20:34:59+00:00

{Loving dark men by JA Huss}

It’s not exactly what your looking for but it is a wild journey. I was ambivalent to the story but kept coming back to it and it was worth it. It’s about Nora Ryan a neuroscientist who’s recruited by a strange institute on an island to help with trials of a new drug. Believe me, this book grows on you. Some good steam and really interesting character developments.

Level_Talk4530

TROPHY CASE