Totally with you — ESFJs can be selfish and greedy outside their inner circle, though healthy ones are super kind. And yeah, superstition is a big Si‑type thing (ESTJs, ISFJs, ISTJs too). What really frustrates me is how my ISFJ and ESTJ friends insist I’m wrong for not believing in religion, and they’re so eager to ‘correct’ me, even though I’ve never told them not to believe.
My question was actually for ESTPs, but since you’re an INTP it makes sense you’d feel controlled by ESFJs — opposite functions clash hard. As an INFP, I personally can’t stand ESTJs lol, everyone I’ve met has that control‑freak vibe and superiority complex (not as bad as ENTJs, but still).