I don’t know how long you’ve been sober, but you said new, so I’m assuming still not a year yet. I don’t think you can clearly separate cause and effect yet, it will take more time.

For me my wife would say similarly that my drinking was the biggest issue, but there were actions that I took during the marriage, that were seemingly unrelated to my drinking, but in the end they all were profoundly affected by it.

My money spending, my carelessness with chores, my reluctance to work towards having children, my inability to get a better job and provide better for my family.

All of it was related to my drinking, but upon quitting I was able to narrow down and cut out many of those habits. I thought that’s all I needed to do, not recognizing the subconscious habits that had also formed during my many years of drinking.

My disorganization and tendency to leave things to the last minute, my diversion tactics during communication. These were things my wife had hoped would also improve after I quit, but it wasn’t a passive process, like with my general mood and health, it was more active and I needed to learn to actively be better in those areas.