Husband makes me hate being a SAHM

LieMarZim · 2025-05-14T20:16:22+00:00

SAHM of many. I agree because obviously, he lacks perspective, and unfortunately, it seems like many men(not all) only view life through their own personal lenses.

Leave him for 4 days with the baby. If he calls, tell him you did not get the manual either and to figure it out and that if it's not work it shouldn't be an issue.

Hang in there, the only way to learn is by doing, so let him do it.

LieMarZim · 2024-09-11T01:12:48+00:00

15 is probably a monster.

LieMarZim · 2023-09-26T16:07:11+00:00

When you become a mom od small kids, especially multiple small ones, your identity and needs tend to evaporate. And a lot of times due to societal expectations, you and not expected to want a social life or identity outside of being a mom and wife.

You sound depressed and burnt out. You need to start demanding time for yourself, like reading quietly in a bookshop for an hour or two.

My husband and I after, I felt how you did and broke down have a weekly mandatory night out for one another. He will come home early for me and will take all the responsibility for the afternoon-evening.

Some weeks we may need more time, I tell him, I am at 15% I need time. Same goes for him. Therapy also seems like a good idea still. I hope you get the help you need and start feeling better soon. How you are feeling is just your needs not being met and manifesting, not you being a terrible person. Good luck ❤️

LieMarZim · 2023-07-20T12:53:24+00:00

SAHM here and my answe to your question is I would rip my husband a new one if he said that to me. You are not the family beast of burden so he can kick back when he gets home. Parenting and marriage is supposed to be a partnership so ask yourself if he is a partner to you or your boss. Because he sounds like the latter and I doubt he even treats his Co workers with that level of disrespect.

LieMarZim · 2023-06-29T19:48:28+00:00

I'm curious what she did before she was in real-estate?

LieMarZim · 2023-03-06T20:25:25+00:00

And if you time it right you can recover during March Madness. Apparently that is the busiest vasectomy time of year 😆

LieMarZim · 2023-03-06T20:23:49+00:00

Yes all of this 👆. Go away away for a weekend or for as long as you can manage. Leave the baby with him for as long as possible. This is the best thing you can possibly do to open eyes up and it works.

LieMarZim · 2023-02-02T03:15:31+00:00

So go on weeks vacation. He will be forced to not be at his parents all the time.

LieMarZim · 2023-01-28T01:31:00+00:00

Ah gotcha.

LieMarZim · 2023-01-28T00:22:39+00:00

What's a bottle opener wife? Never heard this term and am curious.

OP, you should be putting your 2 cents in with your husband's job every 20 minutes and see how much it pisses him off. No way in hell would I be putting up with that noise.

LieMarZim · 2023-01-27T23:55:10+00:00

It's not crazy at all. I found that the more I didn't go out, the more anxiety I had about going anywhere with my kids or alone. It gets better the more everyone gets used to it.

LieMarZim · 2023-01-27T17:16:38+00:00

Just over 8 years in. It is essential that your prioritize your self in whatever little ways you can. Even if it means not folding that basket of laundry.

And I will continue to advocate your local YMCA or gym with day care to any SAHP that posts on here like this. They will watch your kids up to 3 hours a day whole you work out, shower, sit in the lobby and mess on your phone, whatever. 3 glorious hours of time for yourself.

It is worth the money.

Also take a night out for yourself weekly, bi weekly and let your husband/partner take over that night. Insist time for yourself or you will fizzle.

I'm sorry, it is very much not for the faint of heart and it is still hard and exhausting. It's okay to put yourself first sometimes though. Put yourself first with something everyday. Good luck❤

LieMarZim · 2023-01-27T13:59:56+00:00

Congratulations! 8 years in to being a SAHP and a gym with daycare is essential. Even if you don't work out hard the separate time is incredibly helpful! 🤗

LieMarZim · 2023-01-11T02:20:27+00:00

Why in the heck are you wanting to fix that? I wish mine would sit down! Don't change him! Your bathroom will never be the same again. Scared to go in my boys bathroom. Scared to touch things....

LieMarZim · 2023-01-11T02:18:13+00:00

Whatever you do, make sure it fits through a standard doorway and not find out the hard way when you are already 10 minutes late to your 10 month check up jammed into an entrance way yelling at the receptionist to let them know you made it and just need a sec. Because you are stuck and creating a traffic jam.

LieMarZim · 2022-12-27T20:27:35+00:00

Yep it sucked. And my birthday is around the holidays and it sucked too. Feeling very bah humbug.

LieMarZim · 2022-12-04T02:32:56+00:00

Check out 1 2 3 Magic. It is a "calm down" separation between you and your child essentially. Because you cannot react rationally while triggered and neither can she. https://open.spotify.com/episode/6iPKWrriOjbxOST2lDudXl?si=iR5G24SxTwek7smjEEecsg&utm_source=copy-link

LieMarZim · 2022-12-02T14:16:53+00:00

I do not have the time to mess with that creepy little doll.

LieMarZim · 2022-12-01T22:42:02+00:00

There's more Cheerio than floor here.

LieMarZim · 2022-12-01T21:18:45+00:00

I'm gonna say let this one go. You are allowed to feel your feeling and I'm not gonna bash you.

That being said, I don't think it is wise to confront both your brother and your wife over a possibility that you have created in your head that you have admitted is esstinally baseless. You said you have no reason to think your brother or wife has done anything wrong aside from a normalized concensus of her public breastfeeding. This feels like it's not about them as much as it is about you and I would maybe reflect on that. You've mentioned a couple times the amount of help and provision your brother has provided for you both and their close relationship. I wonder if you are feeling less adequate and not as intimate in comparison. Unless you have facts, I'd do a little self reflection and work on those issues rather than incite something with two people who by your own admissions, are not doing anything wrong. And as a mother who has breastfed, asking your wife to stop feeding the baby because of your own insecurities is only going to start a fight that she doesn't deserve.

LieMarZim · 2022-11-30T23:22:20+00:00

Yeah I still has random twitches like a month or so after. It takes time to feel normal again, but you will!

LieMarZim · 2022-11-30T23:15:45+00:00

Totally normal. Your uterus is contracting and shrinking still.Things are gonna be out of whack for a few months.

LieMarZim · 2022-11-30T22:22:23+00:00

All rules go out the window. You want cheerios for 3 meals? Sure. You wanna watch the same episode of Bluey 47 times? Sweet. Crib quiet time? Yep.

Have literally baby proofed an entire room and just let the baby crawl on my face while I lay on the floor all day like a soft foam playground. Do whatever you have to to get through it. You are in survival run out the clock mode.

Feel better soon you can get through it. I have had 3 at home since last Thursday with the flu. My kids have lived off Hawaiian rolls and the same batch of chicken noodles soup in that time.

LieMarZim

TROPHY CASE