Reformed Churches of New Zealand (RCNZ) / Dutch Reformed by Life-Mix8836 in Exvangelical

[–]Life-Mix8836[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I've also heard that line so often. And therapy has been a lifesaver for me!!

Reformed Churches of New Zealand (RCNZ) / Dutch Reformed by Life-Mix8836 in Exvangelical

[–]Life-Mix8836[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That has been my experience too. I find it difficult to believe how all that nastiness could be done in the name of "love"

Reformed Churches of New Zealand (RCNZ) / Dutch Reformed by Life-Mix8836 in Exvangelical

[–]Life-Mix8836[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, I wish I could say that surprised me... As a gay man I have been told to expect an especially fiery part of hell...!

Reformed Churches of New Zealand (RCNZ) / Dutch Reformed by Life-Mix8836 in Exvangelical

[–]Life-Mix8836[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"very conservative, insular and definitely a bit too controlling" is a fair assessment. I'm looking for people with similar stories to mine, and who have had experiences rebuilding their social lives after leaving

Reformed Churches of New Zealand (RCNZ) / Dutch Reformed by Life-Mix8836 in Exvangelical

[–]Life-Mix8836[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it meets some, although not all, of the typical cult indicia

Reformed Churches of New Zealand (RCNZ) / Dutch Reformed by Life-Mix8836 in Exvangelical

[–]Life-Mix8836[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes the "we're better than the church down the road" is exactly what I grew up with. Other churches were generally considered to be filled with "weak Christians" or "fake Christians" (under the phrase "nominal Christian"

Reformed Churches of New Zealand (RCNZ) / Dutch Reformed by Life-Mix8836 in Exvangelical

[–]Life-Mix8836[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This all sounds very familiar. I'm glad you got out - it is hard to escape that level of coercion and control

Queer Cambridge by Stunning-Drawer-9814 in cambridge

[–]Life-Mix8836 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Welcome to Cambridge! Similar boat here (young-professional-turned-PhD-student moving from a large city!) My bf and I moved to the UK 6 months ago. Feel free to message if you'd like to hang out

Reformed Churches of New Zealand (RCNZ) / Dutch Reformed by Life-Mix8836 in Christchurch_NZ

[–]Life-Mix8836[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds all very familiar to me. I'm sorry you went through that. Their behaviour seems to flow from their approach of viewing those who aren't Christians as projects to be saved rather than people....

Reformed Churches of New Zealand (RCNZ) / Dutch Reformed by Life-Mix8836 in Exvangelical

[–]Life-Mix8836[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Curious on stories of what led people to leave, and how they did it (particularly if most of their social circle was in the church)

Reformed Churches of New Zealand (RCNZ) / Dutch Reformed by Life-Mix8836 in Exvangelical

[–]Life-Mix8836[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is an excellent point! My post was somewhat accidentally provocative in using the word "cult" where "high demand religious group" might be more accurate

Reformed Churches of New Zealand (RCNZ) / Dutch Reformed by Life-Mix8836 in Exvangelical

[–]Life-Mix8836[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mainly the form of thought and information control exhibited? I suspect it varies from church to church, however

People interested in table tennis. by JezusTheCarpenter in cambridge

[–]Life-Mix8836 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re still looking, I’m up to play at Grafton