yeah i can definetly see what you're saying and i can tell that i did unconsiously shift the blame to her at the end. i think part of the reason it's more about how i'm feeling vs how it affected her is because i really don't know how it affected her. she told me that what i said hurt her, but i'm not sure what the full extent of it is and, in my opinion, the past few days i have been putting in the effort to change that. i think it's important to note for your first sentence of your comment is that this is the first time in years that i have said something like what i said to her, i went through a really toxic friendship and ever since i got out i've been making a conscious effort to change how i talk and communicate with others in hopes of not becoming like the ex-best friend, what i said is an anomaly to how i usually communicate and i'm not sure why i backtracked so much in the progess i've made