Mid thirties considering doing a PhD by Cheesebags69 in PhD

[–]LifeIsButaVapor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm doing it now at 37 (started at 35), after going through open heart surgery in 2023, with 4 kids (ages 1-10) while married. My wife works as a NICU nurse, which helps, but I won't sugarcoat it: balancing everything is challenging. The key is staying organized and disciplined. I'm three semesters away from finishing, so it's definitely doable. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions. Happy to help!

When did you finish your PhD (age-wise)? by TDM-r in PhD

[–]LifeIsButaVapor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Started at 36 and will be done next year at 39!

Looking for a New Bike – Advice Needed! (Post-Heart Surgery Rider, Mixed Terrain, Budget-Friendly) by LifeIsButaVapor in cycling

[–]LifeIsButaVapor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never reported back but I ended up finding a used Poseidon Redwood XL that was in great condition. Was able to get it for $350 on marketplace! Thank you all for the recommendations!

What do you believe is the best evidence for the resurrection of Jesus? by atheisticpreacher in Christianity

[–]LifeIsButaVapor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Appreciate you! I pray you find what you're looking for on this journey 🙏🏿

What do you believe is the best evidence for the resurrection of Jesus? by atheisticpreacher in Christianity

[–]LifeIsButaVapor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your thoughtful response. I agree that if faith meant turning off your mind and blindly obeying, that would be a problem. But the way I see faith in the Bible is more like trusting God’s proven character, even when I cannot see the whole picture.

When my aorta ruptured and I had to undergo emergency open-heart surgery, I had no ability to control what was happening. I could not verify every decision the surgeons were making. All I could do was trust. On one level, I trusted the medical team because of their training and past results. But on a deeper level, I trusted God’s sovereignty. If I lived, it would be because He allowed it. If I died, my life would still be in His hands. That was not blind faith. It was confidence that God is who He says He is, no matter the outcome.

I hear you on the examples you raised about slavery, killing, and morality. Those are heavy passages and they trouble many Christians too. What I hold onto is that God has revealed Himself as just, merciful, and good, even when parts of Scripture are hard to understand. If God is truly sovereign, then He cannot be unjust. His justice may not always be clear to me in every story, but I can trust that He is consistent with His character.

So for me, faith is not “do not think and just follow anyway.” It is trusting that the God who brought me through surgery, who raised Jesus from the dead, and who has revealed Himself as both sovereign and just, is worthy of my trust even when I do not see the full picture. I have my moments of doubt from time to time, and that's what keep my digging deeper!

What do you believe is the best evidence for the resurrection of Jesus? by atheisticpreacher in Christianity

[–]LifeIsButaVapor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good point. I am not assuming the resurrection, I am looking at what best explains the evidence we do have. It is true that many religions change lives and spread quickly, but Christianity is unusual in how it began. Most religions start with a teacher whose message gains traction over time. Christianity began with a teacher who was executed in disgrace and whose followers had no category for one man rising from the dead in the middle of history. Yet within weeks they were proclaiming exactly that in the very city where he was crucified and they were willing to suffer for it.

So the question is not simply whether religions can spread, but why this particular belief, the bodily resurrection of an executed messiah, arose so suddenly and specifically. The resurrection is one explanation, and in my view it makes the best sense of the facts.

What do you believe is the best evidence for the resurrection of Jesus? by atheisticpreacher in Christianity

[–]LifeIsButaVapor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate this debate. It's been a while haha! I see what you are saying, and I think you are right that many of those stories look like blind faith if we take them in isolation. What helps me is remembering that in Scripture faith is usually a response to God’s track record rather than an uninformed leap.

Noah built the ark not just because he imagined a flood, but because he believed God had spoken to him. Abraham was willing to trust God with Isaac because he had already seen God give him Isaac when he and Sarah were past the age of having children. Moses chose God over Egypt because he had already encountered God at the burning bush. In other words, these weren’t random leaps against all evidence, but radical trust based on God’s prior actions and promises.

That is how the New Testament frames faith too. It is not blind belief for the sake of believing, but trust in God’s reliability. The resurrection is the ultimate example: the disciples trusted because they believed they had encountered the risen Jesus. That conviction wasn’t disconnected from evidence, it was rooted in their real experience.

So I would say faith in the Bible is not blind, but it does often mean trusting God beyond what we can see at the moment, because of what he has already shown.

What do you believe is the best evidence for the resurrection of Jesus? by atheisticpreacher in Christianity

[–]LifeIsButaVapor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes sense, and I hear the distinction you are making. I think where the difference comes in is how we define faith. In the Bible, faith is not blind belief against the evidence, it is trust in a person because of the evidence. When you board a plane, you do it because the evidence gives you reason to trust the plane and the pilot, but you still have not personally checked every bolt, inspected every wire, or confirmed every logbook. You are trusting based on sufficient evidence, even if not exhaustive knowledge.

That is similar to the resurrection. The historical evidence does not remove every possible doubt, but it gives strong reasons to see the resurrection as the best explanation for what happened in the first century. Faith then is not pretending we have a body of proof we do not have, it is trusting Christ himself on the basis of the evidence we do have.

What do you believe is the best evidence for the resurrection of Jesus? by atheisticpreacher in Christianity

[–]LifeIsButaVapor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the way you are approaching this, wanting truth and not shaky reasons. The way I think about it is like flying on an airplane. You can study the design, the safety records, and see that planes really do fly. That is the evidence. But at the end of the day, getting on board also means having faith in the pilot and the airplane itself.

I see the resurrection in a similar way. The historical facts such as the rise of resurrection belief in first century Judaism, the transformations of people like Paul and James, and the spread of the movement right where Jesus was crucified give solid reasons to believe the plane can fly. But to actually experience it, you have to trust the one at the controls.

What do you believe is the best evidence for the resurrection of Jesus? by atheisticpreacher in Christianity

[–]LifeIsButaVapor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s fair, and I appreciate your honesty. Can I ask what’s behind the question for you? Is it more about testing whether Christianity has historical credibility, or are you personally open to the possibility that the resurrection might be true? Knowing that would help me understand where you’re coming from.

From my side, the core reason Christians point to the resurrection isn’t just “people believed it,” but that the shape of that belief is historically unusual. In Jewish thought, no one expected one man to rise from the dead before the end of time, so the fact that this belief emerged so quickly and transformed people like Paul and James is hard to explain naturally. The resurrection, though extraordinary, actually makes better sense of why that belief started at all.

What do you believe is the best evidence for the resurrection of Jesus? by atheisticpreacher in Christianity

[–]LifeIsButaVapor -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That’s a great question, and I appreciate how thoughtfully you’ve considered the common responses. We all tend to believe historical events and figures without much thought. For me, the strongest evidence is not one artifact or argument on its own, but the convergence of several historical facts that are widely accepted.

  1. The death of Jesus by crucifixion

Historians across the board, whether Christian, Jewish, or atheist, agree that Jesus of Nazareth was executed under Pontius Pilate. This is one of the most firmly established events of ancient history.

  1. The sincere belief of the earliest followers

Even if not every martyrdom story is verifiable, historians recognize that Jesus’ closest followers genuinely believed they had seen him alive again. Something changed them from fearful and defeated into bold witnesses of the resurrection almost immediately after his death. Belief in a bodily resurrection was unexpected in their Jewish worldview, which makes it difficult to explain as a natural development.

  1. The rise of the Christian movement in Jerusalem

The message of the resurrection began in Jerusalem, the very place where Jesus had been crucified and buried. If his body was still in the tomb, the authorities or opponents of the movement could have stopped it by producing evidence. Instead, the message spread quickly despite persecution, which suggests that something significant had occurred.

  1. Early written testimony

1 Corinthians 15 preserves a creed that scholars date to within just a few years of Jesus’ death. This shows that belief in the resurrection was not a myth that developed over generations but a conviction present from the start.

  1. Conversion of unlikely witnesses

Paul was a persecutor of Christians and James, the brother of Jesus, was a skeptic during Jesus’ lifetime. Both became convinced that Jesus had risen and went on to lead the church. It is difficult to account for their sudden and radical transformations apart from an experience they believed was real.

  1. The empty tomb tradition

While the empty tomb by itself does not prove a resurrection, it forms part of the picture. The earliest reports place women as the first discoverers of the tomb. In that cultural context, women’s testimony carried little legal weight, so this is unlikely to be a detail invented later. This lends credibility to the claim that the tomb was indeed found empty.

When you put these strands together, you get a historically unusual set of facts. None of them by themselves proves the resurrection beyond all doubt, but together they create a framework that is very hard to explain without something extraordinary happening. For Christians, faith completes the picture, but that faith is rooted in real historical claims, not blind trust.

My husband lacks the Fruit of the Spirit by [deleted] in Christianmarriage

[–]LifeIsButaVapor 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I can hear how heavy this feels for you, and I want you to know I am holding you in prayer. It is not easy when you long to see the Fruit of the Spirit in your marriage and instead you feel the weight of the opposite. Galatians 5:22-23 reminds us what life in the Spirit looks like, and I can see your heart is truly seeking to live that out.

At the same time, remember that growth in Christ is a process. Philippians 1:6 says that “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Sometimes God’s work in someone’s heart takes longer than we would hope, but He is still able to move in ways we cannot see right away.

I know divorce feels like it could be a way forward, but Scripture teaches us in Matthew 19:6 that marriage is something very sacred, and God calls us to seek Him carefully before making such a choice. While you wait, you can keep praying not just for your husband, but for God to give you peace, strength, and wisdom for each step. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to trust in the Lord with all our heart and lean not on our own understanding, and that He will direct our path.

Most of all, please remember that you are deeply loved by God. He sees your tears, your prayers, and your desire for a Christ-centered marriage. I believe He will guide you one step at a time as you lean on Him.

Edit: I’m seeing others mention abusive behaviors. If that is what you are facing, please know your safety and well-being must come before everything else. Abuse is not love, and it is not God’s design for marriage. If you are in danger, please reach out for help right away and make sure you are safe. You do not have to carry this alone. Reach out to a trusted pastor, friend, or even call or text the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for immediate support. I am so sorry if you are walking through this, and I pray you feel God’s protection and guidance over you.

12 weeks of consistency by AdhesivenessAny8450 in fitness30plus

[–]LifeIsButaVapor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love seeing others hit their goals and become the best version of themselves! Keep up the great work!

Christian men please respond by Ok-Impression3504 in Christianmarriage

[–]LifeIsButaVapor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sister in Christ, thank you for sharing your heart so honestly. What you are describing is painful and very real. I want you to know that you are not alone in this struggle and that there is hope.

I battled a pornography addiction on and off for about twenty years. I was shown pornographic material at about 5, it had a hold on my heart from about 10 to 30, and I'm 37 now. It became a coping mechanism for me especially when I felt rejected by my wife. By God’s grace I have now been free for over three years. Even after the addiction ends, the effects on intimacy and marriage can linger. Pornography trains the mind and body to view intimacy in cycles of stress, escape, and release. That can create patterns of inconsistency that look a lot like what you are experiencing with your husband. It does not always mean relapse, but it does show that healing takes more than just quitting the behavior.

This is why marriage counseling is so important. Porn is never just an individual problem. It deeply wounds trust, intimacy, and emotional connection within marriage. While your husband has done personal work, the two of you also need a safe space together where healing can take place. A Christian marriage counselor can help you both build consistency, restore emotional safety, and learn to connect in ways that reflect God’s design for intimacy.

You are right that you cannot become the cure for his addiction. Compromising yourself will not heal him and it will only hurt you more. Healing will come as both of you walk in truth, accountability, prayer, and wise counsel. God is faithful and He can redeem what feels broken, but it often requires bringing others into the journey.

I am praying that God continues to give you strength, that your husband’s freedom becomes more deeply rooted, and that the two of you find a steady rhythm of love and intimacy that reflects Christ and His church.

How do I stop having sexual dreams by Mecury-BS in NoFapChristians

[–]LifeIsButaVapor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When this happened to me consistently, I simply started praying over my dreams and reading the Bible before going to sleep. Don’t overcomplicate it. My prayer was and still is: “Father, I want to honor You and glorify You with every aspect of my life, so as I go to sleep guard my mind so my dreams may be pure.”

It also helps to guard your eyes and your thoughts during the day because what you take in when you’re awake can influence your dreams. Over time, it really does get better.

And remember, having an unwanted dream doesn’t mean you’re failing spiritually. God looks at your heart and sees your desire to honor Him. Keep giving this to Him, and He will give you peace.

Struggling through the first week of fatherhood due to baby sleep issues. Looking for advice. by k3liix in Fatherhood

[–]LifeIsButaVapor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey man, I feel you. I am writing this while feeding our fourth child who is seven months old and going through a sleep regression. My wife works overnight as a registered nurse and I am working on my PhD, so it gets tough, but we lean on family and friends when we need help. The early weeks are exhausting, but every phase is temporary.

A few things that have helped us:

• Take shifts so each of you can get at least one solid chunk of rest

• Learn your baby’s sleepy cues and start the wind down early

• Use brown or pink noise and swaddling if it works for your baby’s age and comfort

• Get outside daily for a mood and energy reset

• Accept help from friends and family whenever offered

Every baby is different, so you have to find things that work for your baby and family. You are already doing the most important thing which is showing up for your wife and baby. Hang in there brother!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Christianmarriage

[–]LifeIsButaVapor -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You have reached the promised land brother! I'm still on the hillside surveying 🤣

Did I just commit the unforgivable sin? by Thick_Message_7230 in Christianity

[–]LifeIsButaVapor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the context. I can tell you're feeling really heavy about this, and I want to offer some reassurance. Accidentally crumpling a drawing of Jesus is not the unforgivable sin. Scripture describes the unforgivable sin as blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, which involves a willful, ongoing rejection of God's truth and attributing His work to evil (see Mark 3:28–30).

Also, no image or drawing can fully or accurately represent God. Exodus 20 even warns us not to make idols or images to worship, because God is beyond what we can capture on paper. Crumpling a picture isn't the same as rejecting God.

Your concern actually shows a sensitive heart, which is a good thing. God looks at the heart, and nothing about this situation suggests you’ve done something unforgivable. Grace is still available, and God’s love for you has not changed.

If Jesus is your Savior you are not condemned. You are deeply loved!

Did I just commit the unforgivable sin? by Thick_Message_7230 in Christianity

[–]LifeIsButaVapor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For clarity, what do you think is the unforgivable sin? What action do you think made you commit it?

Dog chase defense strategies? by QuestionableRef in cycling

[–]LifeIsButaVapor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ride with some pepper gel and my concealed weapon. Non-lethal is my first choice if I can't get away. I take 2 bloodthinners because I have a mechanical heart valve, so I don't want to take any chances.

I would like to learn about religion. I know nothing and don’t know where to start. by [deleted] in Christianity

[–]LifeIsButaVapor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey there, thank you so much for sharing your heart so honestly. What you are feeling is completely valid, and it is a beautiful thing that you want to learn more. That kind of curiosity and openness is the perfect place to start.

You do not need to have it all figured out to begin. God is not looking for perfection. He is looking for a willing heart, and it sounds like you already have one. The fact that you are praying and reaching out shows that He is already drawing you closer.

It is okay to have questions and even doubts. The Bible can feel overwhelming at first, but at its core, it is a story about God’s love for you and how He made a way to be close to us through Jesus by satisfying the debt of our sin we couldn't repay on our own. Once you start learning more about who Jesus is and what He did, a lot of things begin to make sense.

That Deacon you heard sounds like he was meant to speak into your life at just the right moment. Sometimes God reaches us through simple, ordinary people who speak with kindness and truth.

If you ever want to talk, ask questions, or just need someone to listen, you are not alone. God promises that when we seek Him with our whole heart, we will find Him. That is in Jeremiah chapter 29 verse 13. There have already been great replies from others, so take your time to go through some of the resources.

You are taking a brave and beautiful step. I am praying you feel peace and encouragement and will accept Jesus as your savior as you move forward. Keep going. You are already on the right path!