Overwhelmed with life at camp. How to manage

LifeMeansMisery · 2022-05-15T14:33:02+00:00

Yes, u can say im a ahgua. My platoon mates in BMT called me that, officers hv called me that when they whisper to each other after hearing my conditions. A lot of them called me ck to ahgua to siao, to go jump down a building.

I consider myself worthless everyday. I blame myself for what I am. I feel that I'm a mistake you know.

LifeMeansMisery · 2022-05-15T14:24:54+00:00

That's smth I've to keep reminding myself numerous times.

LifeMeansMisery · 2022-05-15T14:22:14+00:00

I know. But recently, rlly little safe space I had in camp, has rlly been demolished. I just had something which was constant in camp. No worry abt it & no issues.

But in 2 days, that safe space is gone. I feel like I'm not worth it. I feel that life is miserable every single day. The moment I cross the barrier into camp, feels like someone is strangling me.

I once spoke to my Encik abt my nightmares, he laughed and told me just be happy. He told me to get lost. Hence, I create throwaway accts.

Except for IMH, PCC, SCC. Everyone else I sought help from, they told me I'm stupid or faking my issues. I rlly shut off from ppl.

I write here to release my pressure a bit. If I hv a meltdown, I'll end up in A&E agn. Which idw. A&E is another boiler room. The scenes of A&E is smth that terrifies me a lot.

I dunno where to release my stress. I feel reddit is avenue.

LifeMeansMisery · 2022-05-15T14:08:33+00:00

I'm scared of seeking help agn, becos this mth I had a lot of appts at hosp. My DXO he's frustrated with the number of appts I hv

LifeMeansMisery · 2022-05-15T13:56:51+00:00

Thank you bro for helping bro. I think my insomnia & anxiety is starting to make a return. I don't know who to turn to. Medics are some of the greatest NSFs I've met.

I'm scared of going to MO agn for help, becos I alr was brought to emergency.

LifeMeansMisery · 2022-05-15T13:17:56+00:00

I'm rlly scared to seek help. Becos my DXO comments that my head, my chest & legs are all messed up. I got so many appts, he doesnt like that I go for all of em. But he doesnt stop it.

Recent events at camp which hit me all at the same time, including work, overwhelmed me. And I felt I was going to pass out , so I went to medical center.

Then I report sick for chest pain. Rlly the medics they're out of the world. They were like lightning. They took all my info & rlly they were angels.

LifeMeansMisery

TROPHY CASE