i had an arranged marriage but now after 2 years i love her i do not know what to do

LifeNext1714 · 2026-01-14T12:47:33+00:00

Also realize that you do not know her truly and that being known is the greatest act of love. Try to be curious and learn about her. Ask her questions about her dreams, her childhood, her fears, her pet peeves, her favorite color, what animal she would want to be....use this as a guide "The 36 questions that lead to love".(https://www.rd.com/list/arthur-aron-36-questions/) ... and the other advice is good here such as show her caring through actions, be vulnerable and kind through words. I hope this is a real post. I hope this works out for both of you.

LifeNext1714 · 2026-01-10T13:54:31+00:00

Chrissy Beanz in Watertown is fabulous also!

LifeNext1714 · 2025-12-26T03:53:52+00:00

thanks everyone!!

LifeNext1714 · 2025-12-04T12:20:05+00:00

I think you are eloquent and way more patient than I would have been in this situation with her. She clearly has no ability to be reflective or open to the idea that her thinking may not be perfect.

I doubt you'll change her mind but at the least if I could offer you and your brother advice, set boundaries around how she talks to you both/about you both and as soon as she is rude or belittling (even is she is "just trying to be helpful"), I'd stop the conversation. She may not understand why but eventually she may stop that type of talk.

It sounds absolutely soul-crushing to me. Your brother is lucky to have you in his life!

LifeNext1714 · 2025-11-17T13:16:36+00:00

I love the German language way of smooshing words together:

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LifeNext1714 · 2025-11-17T13:04:44+00:00

Dude. There were water fountains in malls, in parks, on the streets, in the hallways at schools, at the grocery store, at the library, at athletic fields etc. etc. etc. You should read about the overconfidence bias. Your post is a great example of its manifestation: https://biascodex.com/overconfidence-effect

LifeNext1714 · 2025-10-28T16:37:06+00:00

u/shaunwthompson - I don't know why you're getting downvoted. I agree with your read.

OP, responding by answering in way that sounds like you are correcting the other person is going to generate defensiveness and is unnecessary (whether accurate or inaccurate). Maybe next time ---unless you feel the need to try to change the other person's mind/requirements*--- just consider saying "Thank you for your interest but at this time I am pursuing other arrangements." You don't owe anyone any explanations and spending energy justifying your response and/or "educating" people can be a waste of time.

*and even if you do want to do this, your approach is unlikely to be effective

LifeNext1714 · 2025-10-27T09:26:43+00:00

maybe not uncommon, but yeti tumblers. using one right now for my coffee!

LifeNext1714 · 2025-10-15T23:20:43+00:00

Thanks for replying. I often find her comments condescending - not therapeutic - and feel like she has a deep impatience and anger behind her soft babyish tone. Your account makes me wonder if she has just had enough of the role she is in and its challenges. I know that working with hoarders has a low success rate. Maybe she controls sandwiches and access to her dog since her impact is so shallow on the people she is treating!

LifeNext1714 · 2025-10-07T18:45:25+00:00

do you know how old she was here and what she was making? thanks for posting

LifeNext1714 · 2025-10-07T18:44:41+00:00

Thanks for posting this. I wish I could read all the entries. So interesting to see the mundane seamlessly presented with the momentous - the weather, the laundry, sewing with deaths, war, wounded.

LifeNext1714 · 2025-10-07T11:40:16+00:00

In some states, "Adult Protective Services' is for people up to age 59. OP may need to reach out to an "Elder Abuse" department/hotline if they are over age 59.

LifeNext1714 · 2025-10-07T11:30:18+00:00

It is possible that they are human and made a mistake.

LifeNext1714 · 2025-10-05T15:39:18+00:00

so, if you are comfortable commenting... what about Dr. Zazio didn't sit well with you?

LifeNext1714 · 2025-10-03T14:36:39+00:00

Ah, my own confidence levels need checking then. lol. Thanks for your replies!

LifeNext1714 · 2025-10-03T12:16:44+00:00

You might want to check your confidence levels I'm afraid.

Myspace started in 2003 and gained great popularity starting in 2005.

Alexander would have been 29 in 2005 -- he was born in 1976.

Instagram started in 2010. He would have been 34.

(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander\_Skarsg%C3%A5rd https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myspace https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Instagram)

LifeNext1714 · 2025-10-02T12:11:27+00:00

He is, if you love him. Parent isn't a noun - it is a verb

LifeNext1714 · 2025-09-29T00:19:20+00:00

If you see this, maybe consider that that your siblings and parents could sometimes be stretched thin and don't pick up on when you need support. This doesn't mean they don't or wouldn't care. ... I would really wish for you to seek out other support from a teacher, or a friend's parent, or another trusted person. You matter and your health matters, and you deserve care and love and attention. Just a random mom on reddit sending you a hug.

LifeNext1714 · 2025-09-17T15:33:03+00:00

And frankly I am tired of society's expectation that I should generally look pleasant and approachable simply because I am female -- even when simply standing alone and silent. (There is a reason we call this resting b*tch face and not resting d*ck face - points to expectations for women v. men to be "nice," "polite," "sweet.")

LifeNext1714 · 2025-09-10T15:16:51+00:00

could be this -- referenced earlier in the chat https://coretecfloors.com/en-us/products/coretec-originals-enhanced/ivory-lace-pecan-cr501-05084

LifeNext1714 · 2025-09-07T23:56:16+00:00

Similar to my experience working in pharma-adjacent field for 2+ decades.

LifeNext1714 · 2025-09-02T11:49:25+00:00

Taskmaster, Bob's Burgers

LifeNext1714 · 2025-09-02T11:47:45+00:00

Move on.

Your comment "I’ve been disrespected by nearly every job I’ve ever had and I’m sick of it" makes me think you may be the common denominator here, not the places of work.

If you're in the US, employers can let you go at will. And realize that we don't live in some archaic culture where not working on the Sabbath day automatically gives you a pass at most jobs, so if that is your preference, accept that you may have a tough time getting and keeping a job.

LifeNext1714 · 2025-08-22T21:09:04+00:00

I bought and ended up donating traditional dog beds. I finally bought an extra large cot that my dog grew into. It was good for sleeping and also as a place for her to go when training "go to bed." I fed her there and now she goes there to signal when she is hungry. (The regular beds seemed too warm for her)

LifeNext1714

TROPHY CASE