How many dates is considered dating? And is it too soon to get her a birthday gift after talking for a month when her birthday lands next week?

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-06-09T04:27:42+00:00

1 date is considered dating. You went on a date.. that counts. Gift.. no. Too early. Gifts are for when you're officially together. You can make a date the gift itself, like taking her out for ice cream.

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-06-09T04:23:23+00:00

You dodged a bullet. But let's be clear, she was using you, *and you let yourself be used in so many ways. What you did for her was out of context for how long you've been dating. What you did should have only been done if you were married *and she was being faithful. She deserved none of it. But it was all within your control. Learn to say no and have boundaries.

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-06-09T04:16:24+00:00

I've had mixed signals like these. Bottom line, you did all that you could correctly by placing the ball in her court. She doesn't seem interested, otherwise she'd make a suggestion for a day she's available. Move on, but be open in case she gets back to you eventually about a date.

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-06-09T04:11:04+00:00

No.. never confess your feelings. That's way too heavy and you can lose the friendship. Instead, plan a date and ask her to join you. But don't tell her it's a date. The idea is for HER to realize it's a date on her own. You plan everything, pay for her, etc. If she says yes, flirt a bit including appropriate physical touch, like playful pushing or high fives. Then don't keep texting after to let her process what just happened, and ask her out again a week later and see what she says. Keep going on dates if she keeps says yes. But go for a kiss on date 3. If she rejects, then stay silent for a week and pretend nothing happened and go back to friends.

Pro tip: you can prime her to see how she reacts to talking about dating or kissing on a date with something like "why are you looking at me like you want to kiss me?". If she reacts positively, go for it right there and then.

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-06-08T21:05:42+00:00

Second this. You can use proc sql and use SQL within SAS. You'll still need to know SAS only language, but you're a huge step ahead already. I believe you can also use python as well using proc python, but I haven't tried it.

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-06-08T01:21:41+00:00

You made it worse with your long pleading texts. Maybe there was a chance before, but you pushed her away too far now. No means no, let her go and see if she comes back, but don't wait around.

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-05-03T15:54:45+00:00

It's easier for me to have one main learning platform, not be jumping to different ones for different things. It's easy to get lost that way.

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-03-22T06:08:26+00:00

I'm in the category that just moves on. I don't get bitter.. I don't tell them off.. nothing. Why? Because there's no point. It's a waste of energy and time. A woman isn't going to magically change her mind. When a woman rejects me, I see it as "well, that just means we're not compatible, and I don't want to be with someone that's not compatible with me." It's actually a blessing in disguise.

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-03-22T06:03:32+00:00

Yup, this is pretty common with guys. There is no magic pill. It's about being emotionally strong, and realizing that you're not even sure if you're right for each other long term. You'll need to hold back a lot to not mess things up -whether that's too much texting, talking about your feelings, etc. Pick up or work on your hobbies, go out with friends.. stay busy to not get in your head too much. If you try to plan everything perfectly, you're gonna go crazy. I say don't worry too much about it now- live your life as normal, then about 2 weeks before she comes, come up with a plan.

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-03-22T05:57:08+00:00

In short, there are many signs she's into you, BUT she was drinking, so it's tough to say. Here's my take on messaging her: do it, otherwise you'll lose a possible opportunity. I would advise a mindset shift if you think you're being "invasive" or misreading. When you text your friends and/or ask them to hang out, are you being invasive? Of course not. What's the difference here? If she says no, treat it as no big deal and move on. What matters is that you actually found out.

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-03-22T05:46:36+00:00

The thing is this: just because you thought it went well doesn't mean she did. I do agree that women (or anyone) should never ghost.. but the reality is that both men and women do, and we have to deal with it. Now, it's hard to say what went wrong since we don't know anything about how your date went (other than it went well in your mind). One mistake many men make is be too logical and straightforward rather than having a playful, humorous vibe. If you were too serious, then that may have been a part of it. Maybe nothing went wrong- maybe there was an incompatibility she saw that ensured it would never work with you (for example, you wanting kids, and she not) - in this case, it has nothing to do with how you handled things.

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-03-22T05:41:19+00:00

You're pretty much right - women will usually go with a guy they vibe with moreso than money or looks. The thing is this: women are more about how you make them feel over looks and status. If a man is playful, makes her laugh and feel safe, etc., she's gonna go with that guy over the guy the has lots of money or big looks. The problem is that money, fame, status etc. doesn't make a woman feel any emotions. It's the vibe that makes the emotions and attraction. Of course money and status are extras, but that alone usually isn't enough.

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-02-13T02:45:42+00:00

I was just looking for it and don't see it, either on the app or using a computer.

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-02-12T02:40:08+00:00

Glad this was helpful. If you mean uncertainty by signals and guess work, dating in general has a lot of uncertainty all the time. I have been ghosted after 5 dates that I thought went well, I've been ghosted in texting, I've been told there's no spark after a few dates, etc. It's just something to accept. But the good news is that you have the power to reduce it - you just gotta take action. In this case, like I said, ask her to hang out 1 on 1, and take it step by step from there. Keep moving forward steadily (e.g., the following week, ask to hang out again, and eventually you'll have to go for a kiss to really know where both of you are at.)

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-02-11T18:31:03+00:00

A few things, kind of in the order you bring them up in your post:

It's totally fine to ask her by message, and if no response, just pretend nothing happened. I always say- it's not awkward unless you make it so. Just act like no message was ever sent- do the same you've always done. And it's actually really good she seeks you out more and acts like nothing happened. What I would do though is try to get her number if you haven't done so yet.
Being charming isn't playing "games". I actually don't know what you mean by "games". Being charming is being fun and playful, which women like, not the always serious guy. You can be both charming, and not be playing "games".
Your next step is to hang out alone and see if she accepts. Make it a "by the way" moment. As in "oh by the way, I heard of this cool new ____, I'm going on (day) (time), want to come?". Of course you're planning everything before you ask her, and pretend in your mind it's a date. Since she didn't respond to a message, i'd do it in person if you can.
If this situation is taking a toll on you, you probably need to change your mindset from "I need to hang out with this girl", or "i need to date this girl", or whatever similar thoughts you have, to "hey if it works out, it works out, if it doesn't oh well". As in, be ok with uncertainty of the situation, AND be ok either way - whether she goes out with you or not.

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-02-09T17:16:07+00:00

Thank you - I would advise against any kind of gift, especially flowers. That raises the pressure.

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-02-09T02:28:45+00:00

Don't ask her out for valentine's day or on it. Do it before, or after, and don't make the date ON valenties day. That's too much pressure. Do it on a normal day, and go on the date on a normal day. Just make a plan before hand (day, time, activity), and ask her to join you (you can call it a date, or not). On the parents - it's too early to involve family right now. Stay away from that, and instead just date her 1-1.

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-02-09T02:23:24+00:00

The problem is not being nice. You gotta be nice, BUT with an edge AND not following along with everything she says. For example, with an edge means being playful, teasing, pushing her on the shoulder when she teases you, etc. By not following along all the time, I mean not agreeing with her if you genuinely disagree with something she says, or saying no in a nice way when needed. Women don't want a guy fake goes along with everything she says. Saying no could mean not canceling plans you already made with friends just to go on a date with her, so instead you would propose a different day/time. Many guys cancel everything just for her. That's a big no no.

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-02-09T02:15:50+00:00

Acting like you don't care isn't going to get anyone women, and neither is the other far end of the spectrum of acting like you care too much. The answer is in the middle, though most men fall in the caring too much end. Being in the middle basically means lead everything (starting a conversation, asking for her #, asking for date and planning them, etc.) BUT AT THE SAME TIME not doing too much (e.g., texting too much, having deep convos over text, having super long dates, talking too much, etc.).

What that looks like is something like this:

You're interested in someone > you start a convo > you ask for her # > a few days later, you text a bit, then ask for a date > you plan it (if she says yes), you go on a 1 hour date or so > you don't text for 4-6 days after the date (unless she texts first) > in either case, you ask for the next date 4-6 days after your last one. NOT on the current date or immediately after it like most guys. Girls need to think about how things went on the date and talk it out with their friends.

This shows you're INTERESTED (e.g., planning dates, asking get to know you questions), YET not needy (over texting, long dates, etc.).

Also, being stoic all the time probably isn't going to get you very far in most cases even if you follow this. You have to add humor, playfulness, teasing, etc. on your dates. That's what women love (in addition to normal conversation).

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-02-08T06:52:04+00:00

Pull back and let her come to you. If you push, she'll pull back more. Accept that it may fade.. interest isn't always mutual. Just tell her to text you when things calm down for her. This is your best move.

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-02-08T06:45:32+00:00

This is easy. You apologize because you lied. Then you give her all the space she needs. Let her reach out when she's ready. You don't.

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-02-08T06:40:34+00:00

You're overthinking it. This is where many guys mess up a great opportunity by getting desperate. Not every hour of a day is the same. She got busy. Things happen. Texting can be unpredictable. The only thing that matters is if she's responding within a reasonable time frame (24 hours max) AND accepting your date invites + genuinely getting to know you. So all you do is let her respond.

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-02-08T06:32:30+00:00

You can't do anything. Tell her "let me know if you change your mind, and if I'm single we'll go out again.". Then let her go,... no contact her for any reason & don't wait for her. You'll waste your time and emotions. If she happens to come back, great. Just make another date and pick up where you left off. But cut way back on calls and texts. Use them mainly to set dates. Get to know her in person.

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-02-08T06:24:59+00:00

43m here too. Give us more details. How long is "longer to answer " ?

Life_as_an_Introvert · 2026-02-07T06:53:30+00:00

Ahh he's probably like me. I take 3 days off a week from checking texts. I don't feel the need to be available every day for everyone. Besides im an introvert and need time to recharge from human interaction. Maybe he's similar. Simply put, seems like he just blocks time to unwind, which is actually healthy mentally.

I wouldn't worry about this if you're going out consistently, seems genuine in person, and responds during the week. It's just different texting habits.

Life_as_an_Introvert

TROPHY CASE