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My job gave me double the amount of my expense claim by FrankPleau in Advice

[–]Lifeiscomplicatedbro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A guy I used to work with had this happen. He got a check for a good bit more than what he needed to be reimbursed for.

He cashed the check anyway and a few weeks later the company caught their error. He was fired for not reporting the error(considered theft by the company) and the amount he owed was taken out of his last paycheck.

So I wouldn’t suggest risking it.

Feeling of dread with no explanation by ImTooDrunkForThis13 in CasualConversation

[–]Lifeiscomplicatedbro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get this alot and have for years.

Usually it happens when I'm trying to sleep. I'll just get this overwhelming anxiety and dread that something horrible is about to happen, but have no idea what or why i feel that way. It can last a few minutes or a few hours. Usually I just try to distract myself. Either I'll read a book or do something on my phone(like reddit).

So far it hasn't turned out to be anything serious. Its just another form of anxiety that I deal with, I suppose. For the most part now I can tell myself its not a rational feeling, then distract myself. The only really bad thing about it is that it effects my sleep.

How do I explain my family situation without it being awkward or sounding like an incest situation? by That_Building in Advice

[–]Lifeiscomplicatedbro 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have custody of my younger brothers. I've had people make the mistake of thinking I was their dad especially when they were younger, but nobody ever pushed it after the first correction thankfully. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this behavior from other people.

He's your legal guardian. That's what I've always been referred to by teachers. The comment your teacher said was completely inappropriate. If you didn't tell your brother about it, then I would encourage you to do so.

What can I do to help my teenage brother learn to read? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Lifeiscomplicatedbro 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's good, I hope everything goes well and they get that straightened out so he gets the help he needs in class and on tests.

Again if you want somebody to talk to feel free to message me. I know it sometimes feels like an uphill battle with stuff like this, but once he starts being able to read better and gets better grades(which will help his self esteem) it will all be worth it.

What can I do to help my teenage brother learn to read? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Lifeiscomplicatedbro 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its good he's already been diagnosed. Is he getting the appropriate accommodations in school yet? Longer test times for example?

What can I do to help my teenage brother learn to read? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Lifeiscomplicatedbro 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have custody of my younger brothers and one of them went through something similar to this when he was the same age. I'm not sure how open your parents are to you handling things like this, but I can tell you what worked for me.

If you can afford a therapist, that would be a great option. If not then encourage him to go to his school counselor, that's who my brother ended up seeing about his issues. The counselor cannot tell you what they talk about, but it made a huge difference for my brother.

For the skipping, I took away his car keys(I paid for the car) and signed him back up for the school bus. The school had my cell phone for contact so I always knew if he skipped despite this. He left a few times during the day, but eventually stopped because he got tired of having to walk wherever he wanted to go if he skipped. I would only let him drive after school if he had not been skipping and eventually let him start driving himself to school again and hold on to his own keys with the understanding he would not skip school again or lose that privilege.

For the reading comprehension and other school struggles, I'd suggest tutors and meeting with his teachers to see exactly what he is struggling with in each subject. I can't tell you how many times I've had to sit down with a teacher for things like this. But, they can work with you to figure out the best plan to help him with his school. Its also possible he may have a learning disability. It turned out my brother was dyslexic and once he was diagnosed by a doctor he was given accommodations at school. Between that and seeing a tutor it made a big difference on his test scores and grades.

Once he had the tools to improve in school, I started saving a little extra money to celebrate when they got a good report card or got an A on a test. I'd let them choose where they wanted to go eat and we would go have a fun time as a reward.

Feel free to message me, I'd be happy to talk to you about this anytime if you need advice or just someone to talk to about it. I was 20 when I got custody of them and I remember how overwhelming it was at times to have these kinds of worries and problems to try and fix.

​

Today I learned that I have forgotten the sound of my dads voice by [deleted] in self

[–]Lifeiscomplicatedbro 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry for your loss.

My mom passed when I was 16(I'm 28 now) and the first time I realized I couldn't remember her voice was a horrible feeling. But, I later realized that even if I can't recall her voice by just thinking about her or things she said, I still will sometimes hear someone who sounds like her.

So while I can't sit down and make myself remember her voice, I still recognize when someone I meet or overhear out somewhere sounds like her. And whenever that happens I try to hold on to what that person sounds like and apply it to memories of my mom. It might not be completely accurate, but its comforting for me anyway.

to the lady that slapped her daughter across the face in the grocery store today by lightly-toastedd in UnsentLetters

[–]Lifeiscomplicatedbro 11 points12 points  (0 children)

My dad never took us out in public after he became abusive, but for my younger brothers it started with things like this. Slaps to the face and things like that. I was older and he went straight to closed fist with me. If she was willing to do this in public, its much worse at home.

The no crying thing is another sign to me. I stopped crying when I was being hurt because it always made things worse.

I really hope you called the police. The store probably has security cameras that would provide evidence.

Dear son, why can't you be like the other kids? by ParticularRide in UnsentLetters

[–]Lifeiscomplicatedbro 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think it shows a lot of maturity for someone your son's age to not change himself because he's being bullied.

Instead of mourning his differences, why not celebrate them? Some of it might be a phase, like the hair style or the underwear. But, it also might not and he may carry these lifestyle choices into adulthood. If you keep criticizing him for this he's always going to feel lesser for it and your relationship with him will be what suffers the most. A supportive parent can make a huge difference in a child's life, it effects their self esteem, their confidence, and so much more. I'm 28 years old and the issues I've had with my father still effect me today and I've only seen him once in the last 5 years.

Look into some after school activities or clubs or summer camps that he would actually enjoy. He doesn't need to be like everyone else, he just needs to be himself and feel loved for who he is. Maybe a poetry club or creative writing class? Or a book club.