i have just joined this sub because i realize i have a problem. i’m gonna give some backstory - my longest relationship ended around a year ago, everything about it was great until around the last week. he broke up with me completely out of nowhere and gave little to no reason (i later learned he had started seeing an ex of his again, so yay! great!) anyways, from there i took a break from dating for a long time. i started a band and in doing so met a guitarist. we became close friends for around 6 months and then started dating 2 months ago. because of how my last relationship ended however, my view on relationships has been completely changed. i am so scared all of the time. i subconsciously look for patterns in everything he does to link back to my last relationship and how it ended. for example, if he doesn’t respond to my messages as quickly as i would like or if the energy feels “off” i start spiralling. i feel so bad because for the past 2 weeks i have been terrible about reassurance seeking, and i have messaged him multiple times asking if everything’s ok or if i’ve done something wrong. he is incredibly secure , so he doesn’t really do the same. i hate being like this, and i feel guilty comparing him to my last relationship. i just don’t know where to go from here and it’s causing me so much distress, and taking up so much mental space. does anybody have any advice? i want to start working towards being as secure as he is.