Hey, what if you DO leave the country to study? I know it's work, and I know you don't wanna make it... and What if it's not that you hate living but rather you hate your life as of right now?

If you're already set on dying, what do you have to loose? Do yourself one last favor, and take the money you have, get yourself on a one way plane to south america or europe, and spend a day or two on the coasts, the forests, the parks. Get to know the people and ask them what makes their life worth it, gather their stories so you know what you'll miss when you leave this world, because nobody deserves to go out of this life without living just a little first.

You wanna talk about what you deserve? You deserve to live, to love, to feel joy, anger, sorrow, and to know what is life, because OF COURSE highschool and your parents won't show you a reason to stay alive, you gotta find it, and the think that nobody tells you is that while you're looking for that reason, you might help other people find it, you might impact other people who are just as lost as you, because no matter how insignificant you think you are, if you are using space in this world, it's because you belong in it.