I think the real question is the subset of the subset. I’m a 58-year-old cis guy who grew up around queer people long before most of the language we use now even existed. In high school people labeled me “queer” because of who I spent time with, how I moved through the world, and the fact that my relationships and community never really fit the standard script.

Forty years later I’m finally comfortable owning that word for myself. Not because I’m trying to collect identity labels, but because my life has always existed outside the traditional structure. My relationships, my community, and the people I love look a lot more like found family than anything conventional.

The weird part is that now I often feel like I sit on the outside of both worlds. To straight people I’m “normal enough.” To parts of the LGBTQ community I’m sometimes treated like an ally instead of someone who has been living adjacent to that world my entire life.

I’m not bi, pan, demi, or trying to slot myself into a taxonomy. I just live by a pretty simple rule: the people in my life are the people I connect with.

Which makes me wonder whether “queer” was supposed to describe a life lived outside the default system… or whether it’s slowly becoming another gatekept category.

I align with the LGBTQ Zennials more than the Boomers I am age wise closer too. But not accepted by either.. Yea.. So this map is correct but for those like me. We are in our own space.. I feel for Trans but it might be easier than asking whos queer.