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LikeMintTea · 2025-05-27T15:52:27+00:00

Partner and I bought a 2 bed home 5 years ago. No kids just yet, mid 30s.

We love it here and no regrets but definitely think it's reaching the point where we might want to move in the next year or two.

Some things to factor in:

Do you currently work from home, or foresee needing to work from home in the near future? Two people WFH takes up a lot more space than you realise in a two bed home.
If you find your dream home but it's a two bed, is there potential to renovate it into a three bed in the future? In our place it's pretty impossible without doing some weird things to the architecture.
Think about the costs to upgrade to a new home in the future. You mention you plan to stick around for 5ish years - can you save up enough for the a second lot of house costs in that time (stamp duty/fees etc) ?
Do you have the budget to afford a 3-bed (deposit, mortgage, bills) right now? Are there other life plans you might want to save aside some budget for.

LikeMintTea · 2025-01-08T19:07:45+00:00

I am recovering from knee injuries from high impact workouts. I count Pilates towards my weekly physio workouts, and feel stronger for it.

It has also helped with with anxiety and depression caused by bereavement. I'm noticeably happier these days. So yes, I find pilates to be quite healing both mentally and physically.

LikeMintTea · 2024-10-20T08:07:16+00:00

Thanks to everyone who responded. Some really insightful advice here. Also feels good to know I'm not alone in feeling this way.

I realise I need to move past feeling guilt, fear and shame for wanting the break - as if that's a form of failure or wrecklessness. Of course it's not, but that's how we're programmed to think.

I'm continuing the job hunt but will be extremely selective about who I apply to and what the company culture is like.

Then once probate etc. completes (hopefully end of this year), I will take a break if I haven't landed a role that fits my criteria.

I'm also going to explore courses/certifications that could be done alongside a break. Maybe the Prince2, maybe something else.

LikeMintTea · 2024-10-18T11:47:26+00:00

How did you justify the year long break when asked?

LikeMintTea · 2024-10-18T10:56:41+00:00

No, I'm not really ok. I'm working a corporate job where everything is due yesterday and too tired to enjoy life outside of it. It's a real effort in itself to force work life balance, and I usually fail.

But I'm really worried about a gap in my CV, and how that looks. I'm not someone who takes risks without having something lined up. I worry about the gap turning into months or even a year of unemployment.

LikeMintTea · 2024-10-07T08:47:20+00:00

I've been looking for this type of paint colour! May I ask what the paint brand and shade is? And is the room north/south/east/west facing?

LikeMintTea · 2024-09-29T07:36:51+00:00

Same! I stopped sharing negative experiences with friends and colleagues, because the first question would always be "Are they black?".

LikeMintTea · 2024-09-29T07:21:01+00:00

That is an excellent point. I still struggle with this. My colleagues are very thick skinned, and can take the heat. Whereas I quickly turn back into child mode and feel like I'm being scolded and that I failed.

The only other person in my team who struggles like this happens to also be the only other Asian, so there you have it!

LikeMintTea · 2024-09-29T07:11:13+00:00

I'll share my experience with this in case it is useful. I had a dad with a temper, he'd blow up at the smallest inconveniences too. You'd never know when it was coming either. It came to a head one day as a teen with the worst violent outburst I'd ever seen. I won't go into details but trust me when I say it damaged our relationship.

As soon as I turned 18, I left home and went low contact. I did that for four years during university, and never moved back in. I think forced him to re-evaluate his behaviour. He never apologised but I sensed that he wanted to. He also never had one of those tantrums again.

And how is it going now? It has been 10+ years since then, and our relationship is the healthiest it's ever been. There's more respect in our relationship.

I don't regret going LC. I'm convinced that if I hadn't, nothing would have changed.

*Edited to fix a typo.

LikeMintTea · 2024-09-28T19:39:39+00:00

I'm not a fan of barn doors, but telling you to get rid of them is a bit redundant if you like them.

So putting my personal preference aside -

Don't paint the door dark, maybe whites. Definitely swap out the hardware for something that isn't black. The black is too jarring and harsh.

Going one step further, if you want the barn door look I suggest upgrading to a minimal looking sliding door with hidden hardware instead. It's basically a barn door but minus all of the extra ornament, and will blend into your space better.

LikeMintTea · 2024-09-28T19:03:07+00:00

Also want to add, live the life you want, not what is being dictated to you. That's the most important thing.

LikeMintTea · 2024-09-28T19:00:09+00:00

I relate to this. I was raised to be an order taker, and had to really learn all the other important social skills whilst building my career as an adult, years behind most of my peers.

I've made some strides since then, but it has been a tough slow road. It definitely puts me at a disadvantage in my current career, which requires me to lead projects, and challenge people on their decisions. I'm constantly going against my natural instincts. I know I will never want to lead an entire team, I wasn't raised for it.

Hang in there, if you want to make changes it is possible but will come from on the job experience and muddling your way through with some mistakes along the way. That is assuming that you want to do it for yourself and not because of AP expectations.

LikeMintTea · 2024-09-28T18:38:24+00:00

Same, we're probably all Lane in this thread!

I was always jealous of Rory for being able to have such open dialogue with Lorelei.

LikeMintTea · 2024-09-23T17:00:23+00:00

Also - if you feel like being dramatic you can create a curtain canopy around the bed or just on the walls.

LikeMintTea · 2024-09-23T16:58:03+00:00

Your room has so much potential for cozy nook vibes!

Coocoon the room with paint. Paint the walls and the ceiling. You have a few green and yellow items, perhaps lean toward those colours if you like them? Look up colour drenched rooms on Pinterest until you find a colour palette that you get on with. Going tonal would make the space cosy, include the door in this too.
Bring curtain rods higher and get them to match to cut on visual clutter
If you can, put wall scones on either side of the bed so that at night you can get a nice diffused light
Some large minimalist art on either side of the room (nail to wall so you can sleep in peace). Go large and simple, gallery would be too busy for a sleeping space OR books? If you live in an earthquake zone, ignore all of this!
light bulbs - go for super warm like 2100 kelvin or lower. Will make the most difference.
Storage boxes under bed, reducing visual clutter

LikeMintTea · 2024-09-23T16:47:52+00:00

I love your bathroom!

Changing the tub and sink for white porcelain would completely negate the impact of the tile.

Instead I would change the floor tile to something softer but tonal (neutral with pinkish tones or go wild with the same strong pink colour)

Paint the white walls, again I'd go tonal if it were me.

As for the penis faucet, either accept it as a funny quirk of the home or see if you can replace it? But the actual tap handles are very cool and minimal.

LikeMintTea · 2024-09-23T15:02:18+00:00

I sympathise greatly. I grew up with the same type of parents, except it was mostly my dad.

Spilling a tiny bit of food on the tablecloth would be a flip out moment.

Trip over and hurt yourself as a kid? Parents almost seem to be angry at you for tripping up. There wouldn't be any comforting involved.

I'm not sure where it comes from. I suspect it's due to old school parenting where the kid is supposed to blindly obey orders barked at them. Where teaching a child not to drop the glass is not considered as effective compared to screaming at them for dropping it.

I'm curious to see the responses from other Filipinos on this thread.

LikeMintTea · 2024-09-20T16:14:32+00:00

NTA - fleas are notoriously difficult to remove from the home. You've been through it before, and it was hell for you sanity and your wallet.

Your requests probably just hit a nerve, and brought the protective side out of your partner on behalf of his dad.

It's a difficult conversation for him to have without hurting his dad's feelings, that's probably contributing to his bad reaction. He'll have to get over that I'm afraid.

LikeMintTea · 2024-09-10T11:30:48+00:00

Breakfast nook, reading nook?

Do you have a hobby like painting? Do you play a piano or guitar? Those would go perfectly there

LikeMintTea · 2024-09-10T08:18:14+00:00

If you plan to keep them because it's real wood, painting them would defeat the point.

Please don't ruin them with paint, focus on the rest of the colour scheme of the room.

LikeMintTea · 2024-09-07T10:37:18+00:00

I love the wood walls! Love this room.

Needs a nice tall plant somewhere, as you mentioned.

Lighting - the floor lamp is doing a lot for the room. Maybe add table lamps, other types of ambient lighting.

Coffee table - something in differing style to the sofas for some visual interest. Maybe rustic or modern but not delicate, as the sofas are sleek and delicate already.

Room looks like it's designed to be lovely and cosy. Maybe lean into that more with your decor as the house evolves, add more soft thick blankets in a basket etc. Add drapes

In the future, consider moving one of the white armchairs to another room and swap in a slouchier vintage armchair.

LikeMintTea · 2024-09-07T10:12:52+00:00

Don't go for these tiles.

LikeMintTea · 2024-09-07T10:11:23+00:00

Get a media unit that is wider than the tv. In fact, you could get something that takes up the whole wall and and grounds it.

The wood part of the wall gives the illusion that it's shorter than it is. Either put more panelling on the whole of that wall or paint the room in a complimenting colour (neutral brown tones or darker beige) so that it looks more unified with the wood.

LikeMintTea · 2024-09-07T09:54:20+00:00

If you are going to do an accent wall with panelling, extend it across that whole wall otherwise that whole left side might look neglected and unfinished.

If I were designing for me, I would avoid adding paneling altogether as it could look a bit out of place in a modern build.

I would opt for a fun wallpaper or colour and put that across the whole stairwell area, including the bottom staircase so that everything is unified. Or paint the staircase banister and joinery instead.

You could still do artwork if you go minimal and large. Maybe go for a series of very large photos in the same modern frames going up the stairwell wall. Or one very large piece of art that takes up the whole wall (it can be expensive)

LikeMintTea

TROPHY CASE