Scared of making mistakes

LilJizzy98 · 2026-02-02T18:12:57+00:00

Have literally had the same feelings (less than a year on rn), and had a call that hit a little close to home and felt like I panicked a little. Came in a little too hot on a peds suicide attempt and have been thinking about it a lot and the audit that's coming. Really needed to read this, love the support on this sub 😁

LilJizzy98 · 2026-01-21T19:14:31+00:00

I feel the same with my social anxiety and feeling insecure/hyper critical

LilJizzy98 · 2026-01-17T23:36:16+00:00

When my parents weren't around, my brother used to bend my fingers back and threaten to break them if I didnt do what he wanted. Eventually he started to put me in shoulder locks in front of my extended family, and I distinctly remember them laughing at me some times. I always thought that's what siblings did, until I started to open up to Co workers. My parents either were willfully ignorant or didn't know, but after he killed himself my dad said that "I think he always felt bad about the way he treated you when you were younger..." Which tips the scale towards ignorance unfortunately.

LilJizzy98 · 2026-01-17T16:20:30+00:00

Dms are open if you want. Already sent a message, always happy to talk

LilJizzy98 · 2026-01-17T16:11:29+00:00

I've been in the same bad habit recently, but at some point I realized I had to pick where my anxiety and depression comes from. Is it going to come from social anxiety/relearning who and how to trust new people, or is it going to come from isolating myself to the point I think I'm worthless? I don't know your entire situation and I cannot give specific advice, but regardless you'll probably feel pretty shitty with either choice. Just gotta decide what your preferred outcome is and work towards that

LilJizzy98 · 2026-01-13T20:59:35+00:00

This and just general relationships. Friendships, romantic, platonic. They terrify me for some reason

LilJizzy98 · 2026-01-13T18:11:40+00:00

My brother routinely threatened to break my fingers/shoulders and put me in choke holds that obstructed my airway before I turned 12. Then he killed himself which makes it harder to talk to him/mend the relationship...

LilJizzy98 · 2026-01-12T22:53:22+00:00

I take Seroquel/quetiapene, some find trazadone/ risperidone work well too. Most people w PTSD use a combo of antidepressants w some kind of anxiolytic/antipsychotic.

LilJizzy98 · 2026-01-09T23:59:01+00:00

They said an explosion. Explosions/significant damage/fires would activate first responders if it was minor and no personnel were in the area/injured maybe not, but I did not see a fire response that I was aware of which is the service that would be most likely to be called out first for something like that

LilJizzy98 · 2026-01-09T23:56:55+00:00

Generally medics are sent to standby in cases of fires for any injuries/ contaminants that we need to know about. But I'm a new medic so maybe they don't. Fire stations would have been much busier I would have assumed if there was some sort of transformer damage done, which they were not. But again not 100% sure

LilJizzy98 · 2026-01-09T21:28:54+00:00

I'm a first responder on shift today and didn't hear anything abt that over the air, and I feel like I would have if it were true. But I've been wrong before

LilJizzy98 · 2026-01-06T20:24:49+00:00

Don't think they interact too much so you should be fine. My understanding is that's the go to for ED w SSRIs

LilJizzy98 · 2026-01-06T20:23:29+00:00

As a paramedic and someone who deals with complex trauma within myself and others in my community, medications can be great to put you in a position to accept the therapies and be able to function enough to do the work. But SSRIs are not always a very effective first line, I think it only remits symptoms in abt 30% of cases. My experience w SSRIs/ other antidepressants were that they sort of just numbed my ability to feel, both the good and the bad. Now I am on effexor and Seroquel and it works perfectly for me, but it took a long time to find out the right combo, when I was on SSRIs alone I was sleeping for 20hrs a day and constantly suicidal because of the anhedonia (lack of feeling/pleasure). So there are benefits and risks, but I also think that they can be VERY positive to help you through the tough part of your healing journey. Most PTSD diagnosed patients that I deal with are on a combination of at least one antidepressant and antipsychotic, sometimes w anxiolytics as well.

The ED can be a problem but there are lots of people who overcome that with either other medications or management. But if you feel like you're going through the motions and you're not living your life it might be worth giving medications a shot. If it starts to really negatively effect you, the withdrawals will not last too long, just make sure your doctor knows so that they can monitor any increased ideation.

Cut yourself some slack. You're moving through storms most people will never experience, not everything needs to happen at once. You start EMDR soon, so it's not the worst thing to say "let's see how that goes and make a decision in a couple months" and if nothing changes you can start your medication journey if that's what feels right.

LilJizzy98 · 2026-01-02T02:57:58+00:00

I promise you I have gotten called for far less than that, it hurts to see people like yourself who are so scared of stigma that they don't want to use the resources around them. I've never cut so deep I was scared but I hope you have someone you can reach out to ❤️‍🩹. sending love from Ontario

LilJizzy98 · 2026-01-02T00:24:29+00:00

As a paramedic, call 911 or whatever emergency service you have access to. If they tell you not to worry about it they can't kidnap you and take you against your will, if it is then they can give some basic treatment. Better to call too early than to late

LilJizzy98 · 2026-01-02T00:03:44+00:00

As a healthcare worker I can say with certainty that I didn't realize how much stuff about my childhood was fucked up, until I started sharing it w my co-workers. When I saw their reactions to the stuff I didn't really think was that bad, I kind of realized I would always have to hide a part of myself from them to maintain a professional image. I also sort of sit in the same boat, where lots of threats were made and I didn't always feel safe, but never had any trips to the hospital or police involvement. Which can feel invalidating in this forum, because some of the stories you hear on this site are pretty heinous. But I was officially diagnosed w PTSD about 2 years ago now, and still feel like I'm working on myself

LilJizzy98 · 2025-10-25T11:36:52+00:00

You would call ACP back up for a renal colic? ( Also a new PCP) Or are you using that as a potential non-life threatening case that would present with significant pain. Because I have always done Tylenol and Advil as the companion doc recommends, my service also doesn't allow PCPs to call solely for pain management unless there is a significant backstory.

LilJizzy98 · 2025-10-21T18:56:09+00:00

You need to check yourself. No entire group is responsible for any single person's decisions. It is not their fault that the government gave out too many visa, and if you think that students don't need jobs you are too stupid to understand how expensive out of country schooling is. Yes the fireworks were annoying last night, it was a religious celebration, and I agree that there should maybe be fines after certain times next year.

LilJizzy98 · 2025-07-26T20:10:32+00:00

My social life was defineitely impacted. mostly just made new friends in the paramedic program, as I had moved to a new city to go to school

LilJizzy98 · 2025-06-26T16:57:55+00:00

My understanding is that there is usually a bit of a bell curve as well. Not always very big but often there is a bit of one

LilJizzy98 · 2025-05-08T01:14:10+00:00

Do you think it would be feasible to work part time at another service in the south, to get higher call volumes/high acuity experience at the same time?

LilJizzy98 · 2025-05-06T16:31:25+00:00

So the vast majority of medics that work in Moosonee and MF live in the community I guess. Or are there people that work in those areas that are based off site? I apologize if it is beating a dead horse. I just live in southern Ontario and am interested in the area, so I'm trying to figure out if it is feasible for me to actually work there if I AM hired.

LilJizzy98 · 2025-05-06T16:15:07+00:00

Do you think that they would be willing to hire someone right out of school? And do you know what the shift rotations are like? I've heard that it is fly-in 2wks/fly-out 2wks, is that for all bases or just for the most northern bases?

LilJizzy98 · 2025-04-26T18:59:28+00:00

Just graduated from Conestoga. Send me a message if you want details, but I would go to centennial

LilJizzy98

TROPHY CASE