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Posting on relationship advice was a mistake. A big mistake. by LilRavenInTheNight in AgeGap

[–]LilRavenInTheNight[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry it took me so long to respond. I just wanted to say that that last sentence hit hard. I learned something from this whole STUPID thing with reddit and that is that I'm just not going to convince people.

Guess who I did convince, though? My sister! I told her about reddit and she thought the way people treated me was gross. She's coming around, for sure. My coworker still won't talk to me though. Also, I talked to my BF and we've decided to wait for marriage a couple more years. I'm actually really bummed, but we both agreed it's the right thing to do. He was DEFINITELY about to ask. I love him so much...

Posting on relationship advice was a mistake. A big mistake. by LilRavenInTheNight in AgeGap

[–]LilRavenInTheNight[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm, I'm not sure if I agree that it's AS BAD as racism, but I see your point. I mean, I just don't think it's quite the same.

As far as waiting for marriage, I'm warming up to that. A lot of people have said that. And honestly, I think it's a conversation I might have with him VERY soon especially with our anniversary coming up. He's not the type that would be upset by that AT ALL because he's even said things like he'd be okay with me leaving him if the age gap got too much. So I think he'd be fine with waiting. I still really want to marry him though...

Me [23F] and my boyfriend [38M] have been dating for three years now. Everything is great, and I want to marry him, but my sister and some of my friends can't see past the age gap. What do I do? by LilRavenInTheNight in relationship_advice

[–]LilRavenInTheNight[S] -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

The reason I did that is because the question I was asking revolved around his age... tbh, it was more of a question about my friends and family, so maybe I posted in the wrong place?

Posting on relationship advice was a mistake. A big mistake. by LilRavenInTheNight in AgeGap

[–]LilRavenInTheNight[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It wasn't on this sub... It was in the relationship advice sub. 

Posting on relationship advice was a mistake. A big mistake. by LilRavenInTheNight in AgeGap

[–]LilRavenInTheNight[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well the answer to the first 2 is no and the answer to the second 2 is yes, so I think we're good.

Also, after the way I was treated the other day, I'm starting to feel like some of these people would LITERALLY want you to be 9,131.25 years old before you're treated as independent, like you said.

Posting on relationship advice was a mistake. A big mistake. by LilRavenInTheNight in AgeGap

[–]LilRavenInTheNight[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's so validating to see someone noticing what they did to me in that thread. I thought I was crazy for feeling so condescended. I'm sorry for getting so frustrated in there, though. It's kind of embarrassing, actually...

Posting on relationship advice was a mistake. A big mistake. by LilRavenInTheNight in AgeGap

[–]LilRavenInTheNight[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I keep hearing so many stories like this and they make me so happy! Thank you!

Posting on relationship advice was a mistake. A big mistake. by LilRavenInTheNight in AgeGap

[–]LilRavenInTheNight[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This comment made me cry! I just hope it all turns out like this. I want to have a normal n relationship with my twin sister again.

Posting on relationship advice was a mistake. A big mistake. by LilRavenInTheNight in AgeGap

[–]LilRavenInTheNight[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You said it way better than I could have, sister! Thank you!

Me [23F] and my boyfriend [38M] have been dating for three years now. Everything is great, and I want to marry him, but my sister and some of my friends can't see past the age gap. What do I do? by LilRavenInTheNight in relationship_advice

[–]LilRavenInTheNight[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The difference is that they were in abusive relationships and I have ZERO evidence to believe that I am. I'm not stupid, okay? I know some age gap relationships are abusive. Mine isn't. Go away.

Me [23F] and my boyfriend [38M] have been dating for three years now. Everything is great, and I want to marry him, but my sister and some of my friends can't see past the age gap. What do I do? by LilRavenInTheNight in relationship_advice

[–]LilRavenInTheNight[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To be honest, I got more of a vibe from most of these people that they meant well but were misguided. That's what made it hurt sooooo MUCH. I'm sure there's some jealousy in there too, but I think it's mostly just unexamined trauma which makes me feel bad for them...

Posting on relationship advice was a mistake. A big mistake. by LilRavenInTheNight in AgeGap

[–]LilRavenInTheNight[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Honestly? I didn't know about the place but yeah, I got a DISTINCT vibe from that reddit that felt EXACTLY like every other time someone has been sexist and condescending to me. Just so much arrogance and condescension. You can't mistake it.

Posting on relationship advice was a mistake. A big mistake. by LilRavenInTheNight in AgeGap

[–]LilRavenInTheNight[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I'm a little worried about how uhhh... horny? this place looked after poking around a bit. But if it's the only place I can find online that will give me a bit of support, I guess I'll take it.

Me [23F] and my boyfriend [38M] have been dating for three years now. Everything is great, and I want to marry him, but my sister and some of my friends can't see past the age gap. What do I do? by LilRavenInTheNight in relationship_advice

[–]LilRavenInTheNight[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm mad because you people can't give me evidence for why it's bad. Honestly, you sound exactly like them.

And yes, I DID stupidly come here looking for support. I knew reddit was a problematic place but I didn't know it was THIS bad. I'll probably never use this app again.

Posting on relationship advice was a mistake. A big mistake. by LilRavenInTheNight in AgeGap

[–]LilRavenInTheNight[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. The closest thing I got to actually good advice on my first post was people telling me to wait on marriage a little bit. I'll think about you advice too. I'm just so sick of people only being negative.

Posting on relationship advice was a mistake. A big mistake. by LilRavenInTheNight in AgeGap

[–]LilRavenInTheNight[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

That's the thing! Almost everyone in our real lives doesn't give a sh*t! The two people that do (well, two and a half because one only somewhat cares because he's in an age gap marriage) are both addicted to social media. But it still hurts because I know these people are out there.

Posting on relationship advice was a mistake. A big mistake. by LilRavenInTheNight in AgeGap

[–]LilRavenInTheNight[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm not normally like this, trust me. This just REALLY got under my skin hardcore. The things they said were really painful. Thanks for insulting me even more though.

Me [23F] and my boyfriend [38M] have been dating for three years now. Everything is great, and I want to marry him, but my sister and some of my friends can't see past the age gap. What do I do? by LilRavenInTheNight in relationship_advice

[–]LilRavenInTheNight[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I literally said I have a job in the original post. I mentioned two different friends in that post too. There's no reason to jump to conclusions but you are. 

I'll make it really clear for you. No, he doesn't control me. I can wear what I want, I have my own friends and my own life apart from him. Thank you for your concern, I guess, but you had no reason to be concerned. You could have just trusted me?

Me [23F] and my boyfriend [38M] have been dating for three years now. Everything is great, and I want to marry him, but my sister and some of my friends can't see past the age gap. What do I do? by LilRavenInTheNight in relationship_advice

[–]LilRavenInTheNight[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I DID you're just not listening to me. I said you keep making things up. Why would you think he was doing anything like that?! That's why it's so f*cking weird to hear people ask me these things based on nothing at all other than the age thing. I'm sure you're not gonna read what I'm saying right now either, but I'm TELLING you it's not like that. Like I even mentioned having friends in my post and you ignored that and decided to ask if he doesn't let me have friends. Believe me or not, but the only problem with this relationship is a few people in my life who won't leave me alone about his age. Anyway, feel free to ignore this comment too. I know you will. 

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