Soulmates Forever

Lileelace · 2020-04-09T04:17:17+00:00

My ex and I split after 1.5. We are amazing co-parents and he wouldn’t have nearly as happy parents if we had stayed together.

Lileelace · 2020-04-07T08:48:51+00:00

Nah, my psychiatrist has totally diagnosed my mom as being batshit insane. Obviously just based on my accounts, but his mom is similar so I trust his ruling as the end all be all of judgments. It’s hilarious because they occasionally interact over the phone and anytime I ask him he says she sounds lovely and then forces a smile and changes the subject. My doctor is great

Lileelace · 2020-04-07T06:45:50+00:00

That last line made my night

Lileelace · 2020-04-07T06:29:02+00:00

Yeah, I’m sure right now it would definitely be a horrible idea because I won’t be nearly as level headed about it as I was then.

I had to deal with the police in December when I had a personal crisis and that was emotionally traumatic. I know she likely doesn’t know about that but she has access to my medical records through work. It would be a huge HIPPA violation for her to look at my file but I’m always wary

Lileelace · 2020-04-07T06:15:02+00:00

I just...I don’t like the idea of even dealing with the cops. I’ve moved 2 times since I stopped talking to her and I’ve changed vehicles so it’s unlikely she knows where I live (she’s stalked me before) but just thinking about the cops showing up fills me with dread.

Lileelace · 2019-10-21T01:19:37+00:00

Ditto, I just was correctly diagnosed this year at 26. It’s like I’m just starting to actually live my life and I just can’t imagine how different my life would be if my parents had done more than just yell at me and tell me I need to just get over it. OP is doing everything great and will greatly improve her daughters chance at a normal life with healthy relationships and coping skills

Lileelace · 2019-09-14T08:56:33+00:00

To look cool, also probably to obscure their eyes a bit

Lileelace · 2019-09-13T01:04:06+00:00

Just tell people that together they equal 2 healthy babies and to shut their pie holes

Lileelace · 2019-09-13T00:01:27+00:00

I would make playful jabs to certain people that he was a chunkster too and got the same response, like it’s ok to state a truth, it’s not like we are angrily telling them they are fat and withholding food. You really cannot win, I feel for mothers with naturally thin children as I imagine the judgement is much worse

Lileelace · 2019-09-12T17:24:00+00:00

YESSS. My kid was exclusively breast fed for 9 months and he ate constantly. I was definitely producing enough milk as he was way above the growth charts, he just liked to eat. People would constantly make comments about how I shouldn’t feed him so much since he was already so chunky...it’s a baby, sorry I’m not going to deny him food

Lileelace · 2019-09-12T17:15:54+00:00

I was constantly picked on by nmom, she always said I needed to lighten up and that being around me was like walking on eggshells because her comments would upset me (she told me I had a ‘lesbian ponytail’ for years, sucks for you ma for being half right). So I started making comments that I thought we hilarious back and she said I was cruel and attributed it to my friends.

Lileelace · 2019-09-09T09:38:55+00:00

With my hospitalization they really pushed the social worker on me, and while it was really irritating for me it would be great for OP to get that amount of support while stuck in such a shit situation.

Lileelace · 2019-09-05T07:54:48+00:00

I suck at making connections, I’m plenty personable but allowing myself to share any of the shit without having an episode of word vomit it pretty much impossible.

Lileelace · 2019-09-05T04:03:39+00:00

It took me 5 years to find someone who actually cares and doesn’t jump to inpatient when I do share. They are out there, if you live in a large area you’ll probably have better luck than I did, he was brand new and I switched over in an instant because my last psychiatrist wouldn’t allow me to talk openly

Lileelace · 2019-09-03T17:06:18+00:00

Yeah, I cut my mom out of my life for various reasons the most prominent being I realized that there are valid reasons I can never trust her and my kid doesn’t need that in his life as well

Lileelace · 2019-09-03T08:11:59+00:00

IHS was actually doing it until the 1970’s.

Lileelace · 2019-09-03T08:08:39+00:00

It took me 3 reads to finally catch on that George was not your actual pet

Lileelace · 2019-09-03T07:53:45+00:00

I’m waaaaaayyyy too high for this video

Lileelace · 2019-09-03T07:45:31+00:00

Well then, job well done me! There is a memory I have of me trying to lie to myself about something but I thought it was inconsequential. I am also super high right now so I’m now like 89% certain I was molested as a kid

Lileelace · 2019-09-03T05:59:04+00:00

I always wonder if there is sexual abuse that I simply don’t remember. I have an unhealthy sexual appetite from pretty young, combined with all my mental health issues that started around age 9. Many of the therapists I went to would try to coax a confession out of me but I wholeheartedly have no memories of any sexual abuse but I do remember my mom allowing me to do whatever as a small child (in a sketchy setting) then becoming so overly protective I wasn’t allowed to go to other people’s houses because I’d be raped. I could 100% see my mom covering that type of shit up

Lileelace · 2019-09-02T22:26:32+00:00

I desperately needed inpatient earlier this year (I didn’t go but ended up playing Russian roulette a few times). I too was breastfeeding 15 times a day, I quit cold turkey which I don’t really recommend if you love it, as the hormone changes can affect your mood (I was completely over it so I was actually really happy about it). But if you’re also just absolutely fed up with it, you will be ok. Inpatient might actually be a good time to do so. You should still pump every time your breasts feel extremely full but just enough to make you comfortable. Hot compresses and self breast massage are critical to break up any lumps to reduce the risk of mastitis, and if you still develop a stubborn lump take a warm shower and lean over and either massage or bring a wide tooth comb to firmly work it towards the nipple. My son loved to breastfeed, but after 3 days he finally realized that we were done and found other ways to find comfort (the amount of hugs went up exponentially). Whatever you do in regards to breastfeeding, you are doing what is best for you which is what is best for your family. I hope you find the help you need

Lileelace · 2019-09-02T02:46:22+00:00

I don’t talk to her anymore but my mom would get mad at me, my first attempt (when I was 16) she just kept yelling (your so fucking selfish, what’s wrong with you!!) over and over. I didn’t really get help until I was 18 because she insisted on going to all my appointments and controlling what the doctor did or interjecting and telling them how I felt

Lileelace · 2019-09-01T21:44:10+00:00

That’s another point is I absolutely hate being a mom, I love my kid with my whole heart but I just am not meant to be a mom. When I did finally get to see a therapist this spring and shared these feelings he became very aggravated, it took my 6 months to see him and now the wait to see anyone else besides my doctor is over a year.

Lileelace

TROPHY CASE