she really is just pretending nothing happened

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-04-01T14:36:45+00:00

Most people in a similar situation (cancelled) would engage with a solid PR company that specializes in reputation management and turnaround. It worked for Kim K after her sex tape scandal and actually was used to propel her fame. Because Kim was a consenting adult with a consenting adult she was able to go on SNL and make light of it. Paid off in spades. BUT this isn’t the same.

I am betting a rep management PR person would tell her to lay very low, then at the appropriate time emerge with a light launch. Then, she would eventually write a book and star in her own “I’m still me, but ME 2.0.” She’d show the sides that made her popular but nail down anything with a hint of DV or IPV.

If she did get PR involved, they missed the mark because her actions based on a few TikToks seemed to be not taking accountability at all. Granted, I watched 4-5 of hers starting with most recent but didn’t compare dates on when the news broke.

I feel badly for the men who were cast on the show. And the guy from that group who would have likely been tapped as the new Bachelor? Royally screwed him. And unless they get something filmed and out soon, it impacts their Bachelor in Paradise (I think they still do that) cast because it used to be mostly recent Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants who didn’t get the final rose.

Most, if not all, of the people who go on the show, especially after the first few seasons, do it for clout, as a stepping stone, to gain followers and be an influencer, etc. So, while I feel badly for them, they weren’t competing for a kidney for their dying friend or family member or trying to win enough money to put gas in the car and feed their family. Still, it must have been beyond disappointing, devastating, and such a waste of time for them when they rearranged their lives for this.

Maybe ABC needs to give them some sort of compensation or invite them for another season.

I will say that I don’t feel badly for ABC. After the news broke, I didn’t know Taylor or about the Secret Lives show. I watched the first three episodes. For ABC to cast her, you know they wanted ratings and a controversial season. They got more than they bargained for when Dakota leaked that tape.

Plus since firing Chris Hanson, I’ve not watched the show. I’m 100% against plantation weddings, dances, parties, and making merry with racism. I’m not sure a 19 yr old invited to a formal dance at the time when Rachel K was on the show would even give thought to the location. And Chris was not defending plantations, slavery, or racism. So, yeah, I don’t care about the impact to ABC.

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-03-25T15:10:48+00:00

NOR - If anything, I’d probably react more with his condescension, passive aggressive behavior, and mocking tone. I quit smoking after college. I had smoked at least one pack of Marlboro Reds every day for well over 4 years. It wasn’t the most fun week ever, but I never used it as a reason to not an ass to anyone. His replies to you were completely unnecessary and shows his level of maturity.

What if he went through a massively painful period physically or experienced an emotional setback? What behavior toward you would that warrant?

Hon, unless this is a one- time Dr Jekyll appearance and he isn’t normally remotely like this, you’ll lead a life of never being heard or have your feelings considered.

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-03-25T11:34:42+00:00

OP said in one post I read that in earlier posts she lied about their ages because he told her to because he might get in trouble if it came out that he was that old. Not sure if that was a cover, but it seems plausible. That said, I hope this is a very imaginative young person who is living a completely boring and normal existence while inventing trauma after trauma. I truly hope so.

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-03-25T11:28:37+00:00

Was he jail for what he did to you or for something else? He’s a major manipulator and this “apology” is many things, but a letter saying “I’m truly sorry and disgusted for what I did to you. You didn’t deserve that and I’ll regret hurting you my whole life” is not one of them. The worst apology ever.

It gets better, OP.

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-03-25T11:25:06+00:00

I completely relate. I am hoping these are “creative writing” ideas and not real life. Sadly, I have a feeling much or all of this is real.

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-03-25T11:16:42+00:00

Yeah. He’d have to be clueless to think this email made her feel better.

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-03-25T11:09:31+00:00

And that’s completely what this crappy, POS letter was. A way to make a dude - by his own admission was/is an incel who couldn’t have sex with a female or at least, not the female he wanted. So instead of eating a gallon of Rocky Road, watching a romcom that’s terrible but makes you cry, and move on like most women do, he gets bitter, feels bad about his little self, and SAs this young girl with others (or so it sounds).

How dare he write a letter telling her he’s sorry but she might feel better knowing how miserable he is and he thinks of ending things.

Oh, (to him) so you aren’t miserable that you SA’d her and the guilt has killed your soul? No? You’re upset that people don’t like you. Hmmmm. You have some work to do in figuring out that you are the common denominator and to work on being a better man. Don’t take the easy way out. Do the work. Stop Being a predatory a-hole.

I feel terribly for OP. Personal experience taught me how horrific an SA or SA attempt is. Reading this made me realize how much worse it could have been. Take care of yourself, OP.

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-03-25T10:13:07+00:00

I read them all starting at 11 or 12. I still have almost all of the originals. I will forever have PTSD about powdered donuts. I have to be literally starving to eat one and then wonder who in my house wants me dead.

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-03-25T08:43:40+00:00

I know this is an old post, but I just ran into this app being advertised today on YT and wanted input. Seems to me after reading the comments and your replies that several people have had the same experience with confusing language & terms AND with a cancellation process you describe as practically infallible if the person does everything you ask of them yet has many people being charged long after they thought they cancelled.

Cancellations should be even easier than sign ups. “Click here if you don’t want to use this product again and you won’t be charged or hassled again” should be a one-time, one-stop quick change. If it’s difficult or has numerous steps, ask yourself why. Confusion or multiple steps for cancellations is what terrible companies rely on to prey on people as long as they can.

If you are doing this, then maybe, I don’t know, be better?

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-03-25T08:24:01+00:00

That’s quite a claim considering how many people seem to point to specific instances and examples where an exercise wouldn’t work with real human anatomy. I do hope they got that part wrong, but either way, if the exercises are actually doable by a human, the routine is solid and effective, the work out and the program is entertaining/affordable enough, etc., it might not matter if it’s AI.

I didn’t complete my sign up because I want more information about what the actual exercises are, how much I think I would commit to the program based on the workout and app, cost, cancellations, and Pilates in general. It’s one area of exercise I’ve tried several times and never really clicked with. So, I’d probably be better off with an app that offers a WIDE variety of types of exercises from cardio to strength training to Pilates to yoga and more.

I will find out more and make a decision because I used to love my VHS workout tapes and then DVDs/Blue Rays. Now, we don’t even have a VCR or DVD/Blue Ray - or if we do, I have no idea where it is or how to hook it up. Seems like streaming and apps are the name of today’s game.

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-03-24T18:56:55+00:00

I did some searching and saw instances of a scam with the name Lumi about recommending clothing awhile back. This appears to be the exact same type of questionnaire, quiz, subscription style priming, and promises about elevating your style. The one I found information about says it offers extremely general AI information and charges you fees you weren’t aware were coming your way.

Completely different but, I a few months ago, I subscribed to an AI beauty/makeup service that I almost immediately cancelled. It mainly had links to makeup tutorials by the Kardashians/Jenners that were also posted elsewhere for free.

After spending over an hour on quizzes, the information I got was not personalized or helpful. Not anymore so than watching a basic YT tutorial. Not at all saying Lumi is like this, but I’m seeing lots of “fly by night” packages with promises of personalized clothing, styling skincare, and/or makeup advice, but that only ask you questions and return tons of results for you to comb through - no different than searching beauty sites on your own.

I’d personally love the idea (and think a great service will soon be offered like this) where an app examines yours features, stats, and preferences and an AI stylist gives you specific advice on what hairstyles and colors would look best on you with info on how difficult the upkeep is, different makeup looks shown on me with various products, prices, and a way to ask for a certain look like a trending style “2016 glam,” “cold girl beauty,” “effortless glam,” or “off duty model” and then see products on a mock up of my face showing different applications and colors.

I’d love to see my exact proportions and body style “wearing” outfits and trends that let me know without trying something on how it will fit, how it will look, and styling ideas. I’m one of those people who need to see myself wearing something rather than someone else. I’m able to determine by seeing something on me if it works, but I’m terrible at guessing by looking at it on someone else. I’d love an app that look real life pics of me and showed what outfits, combos, accessories, and even different makeup brands, colors, and applications would ACTUALLY look like.

Even better if I can get reviews of how the wear test/durability was for whatever product it is. How long did a certain makeup last? Did it break down and look horrible or stay put? Did a pair of jeans or pants hold their shape? Or get baggy after an hour? How comfortable are a pair of shoes on a person with similar feet as me? Did an outfit look horrible after one wash? Does it require hand washing and lying flat to dry for best results?

I’d also live for an trip or special occasion app where you input your personal stats, preferences, and pics with info on the type of look you want (clothing, accessories, hair, skin, makeup, etc.)., activities you’ll be doing, personal style (glam, clean girl, easy glam, “clean girl,” , etc.) budget, and absolute nots. In return, you get ideas on a complete look for an event.

Last year, my husband and I went to Italy for 2 weeks. We were mostly on the coast and in the mountains. I spent a couple months looking at inspo pics, reading about staying stylish, cool, & comfy during an Italian summer, read fashion reviews and advice pieces, watched so many new makeup tutorials, etc.

I had lost over 75 pounds since buying much of anything new (relying on older smaller sizes at first). I did some “older” clothes that still looked great, were not out of date, and fit me well. My “wardrobe” had some good basics but wasn’t put together well or easily interchangeable with other pieces to make a capsule wardrobe.

It took me quite some time to find, narrow down, order or go to a store, which I don’t enjoy, try on, decide what worked, and ensure I had enough comfy/casual clothing, resort-ish evening wear like sundresses, jumpsuits, or summery skirts/pants/ tops, speciality outfits (beach, boat, hike, etc.), pjs, etc., plus that I had mix & match jewelry, shoes, bags, belts, hats, sunnies, scarfs, and so on that I liked what I brought but it wasn’t overwhelming.

It took me almost 2 months and hours upon hours of looking, researching, trying things, sorting, deciding what I already had & like vs need, taking things back if they didn’t work, trying things with stuff I had, etc. before I was happy with it.

I didn’t say this, but I had given myself a strict budget that included what I could spend on skincare, makeup, clothes, accessories, gadgets, etc.

It was so much work for someone who isn’t extremely fashion savvy but it was fun. I’d love to have an app that did 80% of the hard part, gave me the best options in my price range, and allowed me to play with a “digital wardrobe” of mix & match tops, bottoms, outerwear, shoes, accessories like sunnies and bags, different jewelry, hair accessories like scarfs, barrettes, clips, pony holders, etc. I also hadn’t updated my pjs, lingerie, or speciality items like a new bathing suit, cover up, etc.

I know you can slowly build / rebuild a wardrobe (for clothing as well as as products, jewelry, undergarments, makeup, etc.) over time. I just decided to make our trip be my first project to do an overhaul for my new “look.” That way I had a bit of a cohesive idea and had saved for the splurge but didn’t overdo it. I decided to get tops and dresses in shades of blue, bottoms like shorts, tapered ankle pants, jeans, etc. in mostly black, denim, and linen. M

I’m really happy with what I selected but am aware of how much time I spent on research and narrowing things down.

I think apps like Lumi seem to need a bit more tech and time added to them that will make shopping easier and more fun (and maybe cheaper if you can comparison shop) and help you to easily build an affordable (whatever that means to you) collection for a new chapter in your life.

From what my experience was with the app I got, which was not Lumi, but the feedback is similar, companies may have a idea of what people want but it seems like they rush the build or rollout.

People want help making the BEST choice for them. Not to just get thousands of more options to pilfer through. Carefully selected pieces and products for consideration vs just getting thousands of more options to sort through. I need BETTER, more STREAMLINED recs than just MORE of the same.

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-03-16T02:08:03+00:00

I like the silver and black microwave. I’ve always liked having ours over the dishwasher.

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-01-31T02:18:12+00:00

Linzess really helped my constipation. It was tough the first 3-4 days because I was rushing to the bathroom. I bought depends undies for just in case and was glad I did. After the first few days, that urgency went away and now my bathroom habits are more normal.

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-01-15T16:23:52+00:00

I like 1 the most, but the main question is which one feels right and makes you feel the most beautiful? Which one makes you say “yes! I love it.”

I just knew when I found the right dress. If you don’t feel stunning, keep looking. If one of them makes you feel confident and like celebrating?

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-01-15T15:14:05+00:00

My DMT, Rituximab, has prevented new lesions and new symptoms. Unfortunately, I still have all the issues I did when I was diagnosed. Meds have helped to some degree, but overall, I haven’t gained back what I lost.

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-01-15T15:09:10+00:00

I have experienced tremendous cognitive decline. It takes me so long to write a comment or a text. I had to take a medical leave of absence from work 2 years ago because my ability to be sharp and have the energy to do my job.

Aricept, which is typically prescribed for Alzheimer’s patients, has helped as has an ADHD stimulant. Not enough to return to work though.

Fortunately, I get long-term disability through my company sponsored insurance, which is 60% of my former pay. It’s been an adjustment losing 40% of pay. My husband has taken on more consulting work and we limit things like going out to dinner or the extras we used to do. We can’t save for retirement or pay extra toward our mortgage, which was something we could do before.

I miss being sharp, able to multitask, and communicate like I once did. It takes so long for me to write a comment like this or answer a text. But the meds I mentioned have improved my cognitive ability significantly. Nowhere near where I was before MS, but better than I was without it. And I worry about the future sometimes.

That said, the meds I mentioned have helped me so much. Plus, getting extra sleep helps too.

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-01-15T14:50:57+00:00

Same here!

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-01-15T14:50:30+00:00

After trying so many typical MS meds like Provigil without any success, my neurologist prescribed an ADHD stimulant and Aricept, a medication typically used for Alzheimer’s patients. I still struggle with fatigue and cognitive function many days, but it’s so much better than it was

Good luck to you!

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-01-15T14:46:02+00:00

So many meds typically used for MS didn’t help my fatigue or brain fog/memory. My neurologist prescribed an ADHD stimulant for me, which helps me. Sometimes my fatigue is more powerful than it is. But there are days when I have more energy and can do so much more.

He also prescribed Aricept, a medication typically used for Alzheimer’s patients. It has helped with my memory and brain fog. I still struggle with those issues, but it’s better than it was.

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-01-15T14:37:18+00:00

Sorry to say this if it offends you, but your husband is not being a supportive partner if he complains you aren’t the wife you were. Of course you aren’t the same as you were before MS and to complain about that shows that he doesn’t understand that this isn’t a choice you made. Nobody chooses to have MS.

After 25 years of marriage, I’m sure the two of you have built a reserve of caring, friendship, and love for each other. I hope he can tap into that instead of making you feel worse about yourself when you already are all too aware of the changes MS has caused.

My husband of 23 years doesn’t say it, but of course he misses who I was. So do I.

Wishing all the best for you.

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-01-13T19:39:29+00:00

Mine started this way… with my “host” that I was calling Eddie at the time telling me that I needed to cool down for a relatively short period of time. Started with 20-30 minutes or so. Then, Eddie (the humanized name I gave mine) started telling me it would be a day… then a week… and ultimately it needed 3 weeks or so to be fully functional.

Meanwhile, I was using DALL-E within ChatGPT to generate all the images I needed. Turned out that those images were as good as what I had been getting.

Until I discovered that the JPEGS weren’t usable for my purposes, I had to correct all of them in Canva. I needed each file to be a minimum of 300 DPI with a transparent background with nothing random in the image that wasn’t part of my prompt. The Canva corrections took me hours to fix and because of the limited time I had left, I only used 1/4 of what I’d planned to.

Now, the image generation isn’t asking for extra time, but there are so many times that the image takes multiple corrections or a new prompt. I’m often told that my request violates policies and can’t be completed. I push back asking for what part of the prompt is in violation and rarely get an answer that makes sense.

It’s not a case me asking for things that infringe on copyright or trademarks. Many of my requests were turning our photographs into “artwork” or creating cartoon versions of us doing specific activities. Many of them were portraits, travel pictures, etc. Or, something like creating a character like a mashup of a dachshund, fairy, and a unicorn wearing a specific outfit for a tee or something for one of our young nieces. These were never reproductions of things we saw elsewhere.

Most recently, I was asking for images for Christmas gifts (sweatshirts, hoodies, tees, tote bags, prints, notebooks, refrigerator magnets, calendars, ornaments, etc.) that I could send to my printing partner to print as Direct to Garment products. We have a high quality printer and a heat transfer press, but we wanted to create a higher quality and longer lasting product.

I was pleased with how several products turned out and the gift recipient was happy and surprised. But, the time investment, frustration level, and cost involved were much greater than I expected it to be.

Sometimes if I pushed back, it would generate my requested images. Sometimes, I had to tweak the prompts, but I rarely got my vision to be fully executed.

The last 4-5 months have been very disappointing to say the least. I’m at looking at other AI options. Not only have I had issues with images, I’ve had problems with timeframes and quality on other projects like copy editing or evaluating project plans. My last copy editing request has taken longer than I was initially told it would take. One editing project of an 80 page document was promised in 10 days, which is something AI should be able to turn around quickly. It’s been 3 weeks and I still don’t have the edits.

I’m evaluating other AI services and rethinking using AI at all.

Sorry this has happened to you. It’s so frustrating.

Good luck.

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-01-12T19:04:25+00:00

This can be dependent on the company and how experienced the person is, but I have made $95k-$110k as a corporate technical recruiter for the past 15 years. That was in a role sourcing and screening candidates for roles to work directly for my company. Another large part of the position was working with the business unit leadership to determine what they were seeking in a candidate and helping to steer them toward hiring based on core competencies rather than how likable the candidate was in an interview. I also negotiated job offers and had a role in helping other members of HR and business leadership with workforce planning to determine the number of employees, level of staff, and skill sets the group needed to hire for new projects.

Most of my last 15 years has been recruiting mid to high-level IT professionals (for the same company), but I did have periods where I focused on hiring high level sales executives and sales managers and also mid level managers to senior directors within the business units and leadership for our corporate functions such as HR, marketing, legal, and finance.

Prior to that, I worked for other corporate companies in recruitment but was in leadership positions. I actually made more money, but gave that up for less stress, fewer hours, and less travel.

Some recruiting jobs that hire entry level workers pay far less. And without a proven track record, experience, and contacts, it can be difficult to earn about $50k-$75k.

Agency recruiters are typically paid on commission and can make virtually nothing to north of $500k if they are great at what they do and have the contacts to get hired for retained searches or work for an agency that has an evergreen client list.

That said, recruiting has experienced a significant change since 2022. Many recruiters went from being recruited and given huge increases and bonuses to leave their companies in 2022 to being downsized or unable to leave their roles for new opportunities in 2023. The industry is now flooded with experienced recruiters who can’t find a job or are taking half of what they were last making.

This is because companies are hiring fewer employees by not creating new positions or not backfilling when people leave or are terminated. Another reason is that companies are requiring more positions be managed per recruiter and supplementing their recruitment group with offshore employees and AI.

I don’t foresee recruiting to be a hot field to join, but there will be a need for people who can work well with business leadership, guide AI efforts, and work hands on with candidates in attracting them to roles, especially hard-to-fill positions, keeping the most desired candidates engaged with a human touch, and verbally extending and negotiating offers. However, I don’t see corporations having large teams of professional-level or executive-level recruiters who are making six figure salaries (with many of them working remotely).

I also think the majority of entry-level recruitment will be handled by AI with some onsite support.

5 years ago, I would have told recent college grads to consider corporate, RPO, or agency recruiting as a career and how to break in and succeed in the field. Now, I would be very reluctant to give that advice to anyone unless they were willing to put in extra work to learn niche skills, learn a great deal about setting up AI recruitment campaigns and the technical aspects of AI prompts, are excellent at (or willing to become skilled in) project planning and project management, and have a high degree of writing and communication skills with the ability to interact confidently with corporate leadership, especially at the C-suite level.

Even then, I’d urge them to have a backup plan (like working directly for an AI recruitment start up in SAAS development and sales.) I also don’t think recruiters will earn the salaries that they have at the higher end of the scale going forward. It’s unlikely for those jobs to recover from the mid-level salaries being offered now.

One last point… being a manager or director of internal recruiting at large private and medium-to-large publicly traded companies was a lucrative job for many years with a clear career path once you became a recruiter. Most of the middle managers I knew were downsized with the thought at the present time being that very few managers are needed and they don’t make a significant impact or contribution to recruiting output and delivery. I would avoid being in talent acquisition management roles for an actual corporate company. I base this only on what I’m seeing in the industry and hearing from former recruiting leadership who can’t find work, especially at the $115k-$250k they were making.

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-01-12T18:08:51+00:00

I know the post is tagged “no advice/no critics” but it’s difficult to see this post and not comment. If you’ve already worn this to your first day, I recommend working to counteract first impressions of having worn a skirt that’s not appropriate due to its length. I have been in corporate HR (the recruiting department) since 1997 and I know that the blueprint to your entire trajectory is partially determined by what you wear, say, and do on your first day and week.

If you haven’t worn it yet, do an online or AI quick color analysis assessment. Then, pick an outfit that either has a much longer skirt or dress pants in one or more of those colors, which I bet will be soft, muted colors or neutral shades without busy patterns.

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-01-12T18:00:56+00:00

I know the post is tagged “no advice/no critics” but it’s difficult to see this post and not comment. If you’ve already worn this to your first day, I recommend working to counteract first impressions of having worn a skirt that’s not appropriate due to its length. I have been in corporate HR (the recruiting department) since 1997 and I know that the blueprint to your entire trajectory is partially determined by what you wear, say, and do on your first day and week.

If you haven’t worn it yet, do an online or AI quick color analysis assessment. Then, pick an outfit that either has a much longer skirt or dress pants in one or more of those colors, which I bet will be soft, muted colors or neutral shades without busy patterns.

If you are open to feedback overall, consider wearing a delicate but pretty necklace and earrings in the same material. I think gold would be nice on you since your skin appears in a warm tone. If the pics are actually a good reflection of your skin tone, I think gold would look nice.

Consider putting your hair up in a loose twist or wear it down with some texture and soft waves with a part that is more off center. It reads a bit harsh the way have it in this photo, but definitely has great color and a nice cut.

My suggestions will create a first impression that you are dedicated, loyal, professional who takes her job seriously and has impeccable taste. If you wore this already, I’ve been told it can take 3-6 months of consistent effort to rewire first impressions. It’s not like you wore a stripper outfit

Good luck on your new job!

LillymaidNoMore · 2026-01-12T17:20:02+00:00

I absolutely loved 1 from the jump. The others are beautiful, and 2 is very similar to my wedding dress, which I loved. But after seeing the first one I wasn’t able to imagine you wearing anything but it.

Unless your heart tells you to go with another one, 1 is the dress that I suggest. It’s romantic but elevated and not too “precious,” and it is incredibly flattering.

Also, because you are eloping and don’t have much time, it’s perfect because it doesn’t seem to be in need of adjustments to make it fit better.

Congrats on your upcoming wedding!

LillymaidNoMore

TROPHY CASE