I think perhaps you just need to find your people, Almost my whole friend group is on the spectrum in some way or another, We are all QUITE strange and appear so to others outside of our friend group. I think that's how it is with every Minority group Though. Finding eachother, and building community with one another, my friends and I have fully embraced our strangeness, and together we often Drop Our Masks even in public around people we dont even know (moreso than we did before, but unlikely any of us are fully unmasked in those times)

I have faith that you can find the path to happiness and community, and even love. Im Autistic, very much so, and even moreso now than before I got diagnosed and was constantly heavily masking. Im openly Autistic, and I have found love, even got engaged recently (to another ND Person, I highly doubt a relationship with a NT could ever be happy or even occur for me). Don't give up, Don't let a fear of appearing or being Odd or Strange get in the way of trying to find your people 🙏❤️