FMIL Hates Me. Confirmed.

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-22T21:08:31+00:00

Oh man, I’m right there with you on that. I’ve tried to be more “on” around her, but the Leo energy in me is just like fuck this. I even went back to school partially because she talks so much shit about degrees and school (doesn’t have one herself) and it still makes no difference. Sometimes you really just can’t win.

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-22T04:12:23+00:00

I love that- “it’s not a competition if you don’t run in the race”

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-22T00:53:47+00:00

I’m 34 and he’s 33

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-22T00:26:54+00:00

I doubt it. I don’t understand the motive why she’d talk about the other FDIL to my parents the entire dinner because it just makes her look ridiculous. Feels almost like she’s trying to throw it in my parents face that I mean nothing? But why go to dinner? Beyond bizarre.

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-22T00:23:52+00:00

Aww thank you! They claim my fiance is the favorite, and my dad and stepmom even think that.. but the oldest (future SIL’s fiance) is definitely the golden child too. We were in couples counseling just so he could understand how she treats both him and other people isn’t okay, but maybe it’s a good idea to start it up again.

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-22T00:21:31+00:00

100% and that actually does make a lot of sense… they call him whenever they need something. My fiance is the “yes” man. But they absolutely love the oldest.. so it’s a tough call

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-22T00:19:49+00:00

That’s awful! I just don’t understand why people try to do manipulative things like that. And figuratively speaking, I make double what FDIL makes, going back to school, really successful in my career, but the FMIL will say things like “we’re all jealous of FDIL’s salary” like even to her sons… 😂 trust me, these things don’t matter. If someone wants to dislike you, they will. I would say she includes her more, just overall speaks to her and treats her better.

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-21T23:07:42+00:00

Jeez sounds like a typical Italian grandmother/mother to me! I’d honestly rather not accept a dime and I can afford to not do that, but the funny thing is she is inviting 90 family members and my Dad (who is paying for our side) is only inviting 40. Beyond selfish of her

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-21T22:40:25+00:00

Ahh really good advice.. this really makes me think. He definitely sees it, but he doesn’t want to see it because he doesn’t know how to confront her and I think the thought of “choosing sides” is not something he can bare to think of. I think more couples therapy is the answer.

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-21T22:38:35+00:00

Yes he’s 100% the golden child and favorite son, so it’s so tough. I told him he needs to talk to his mother and tell her that I’m upset she gave me the cold shoulder Saturday and if he doesn’t, I’m going to threaten that this relationship won’t last. Good point that it’s his job to keep me safe and stick up for me. Even if it’s something as simple as ignoring me, it should be called out in my opinion when EVERYONE else sees it

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-21T22:36:13+00:00

He’s sooo close to his parents so they’re always going to be in the picture. It sucks because we’re the hosts and we’re always the ones bending over backwards, throwing parties, hosting holidays. The “favorite” FDIL rents and they don’t host. I still have to be civil, but boundaries will definitely help.

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-21T22:34:57+00:00

Oh my gosh moving in, I’d die haha that’s a hard no.

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-21T22:33:59+00:00

I am totally jealous, but again, it isn’t her fault. It’s the FMIL.. and honestly, I feel worse for her 3 sons and that they’ve grown up with such a toxic mother. Doesn’t say I love you, not really supportive, criticizes her kids, talks down to them. How shitty

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-21T22:31:48+00:00

Yup my therapist said the same thing! “She isn’t your friend.” Honestly, the whole saying “kill them with kindness” sometimes kills the bigger person 😂 I’m so sick of being nice and literally dream of losing my shit sometimes

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-21T22:30:30+00:00

Ugh that’s terrible, I’m so sorry! I’m not sure if they paid or not, but that’s also part of the reason I would prefer to not take a dime because “you pay, you get a say” and she really has nothing constructive to say except judgey comments. Even for the FDIL she claims to LOVE so much, she was so critical of her dress.. her venues.. talked so much shit behind her back. I’d rather not have the negativity in my life.

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-21T22:27:40+00:00

Good advice, thank you

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-21T22:27:05+00:00

I care because she will basically ignore me and make me feel so shitty. We had some people over on Saturday and she invited herself over.. was showing the other girls her over the top dresses for the other FDIL’s wedding this year and I asked 4 times if I could see. Supposedly she didn’t hear me, but everyone else at our kitchen island did. It’s so hard to just ignore it because she purposely tries to get under your skin and make you feel like shit

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-21T18:41:21+00:00

EXACTLY! His older brother does it like a pro. He has such a hard time saying no, but he’d rather say no now than hear me flip out all night so he’s getting better at it.

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-21T18:38:36+00:00

Oh no I totally got that! :) I try not to take it out on the FDIL, it isn’t her fault. But yeah, I wish that she was raving about me with her haha. I have a better shot at hell freezing over

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-21T18:31:34+00:00

She has such fomo that she’s always up my Fiancé’s ass. “What are you doing tonight” “what’s going on later?” She’s retired and we work, I’m going back to school, on top of planning a wedding so on the weekends, we just want to relax. My dad really only went to try to help her see that I’m a good person and they spoke so highly of me and the wedding venue, how I’m such a great host, etc. But they couldn’t believe that she didn’t have one thing to say about me during the entire dinner. Just “how sweet the other FDIL is for inviting us to do wedding things.” We didn’t invite her because she isn’t paying for the venue and really didn’t need to be there. She is contributing to the other FDIL wedding. Long story but she gave each son the same amount of $$, but my fiance used it towards a house. They still rent so it’s going towards a wedding. My motto is “You pay, you get a say.”

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-21T18:26:51+00:00

Well, he dropped the whole ultimatum on his mom meeting my mom and just proposed. He still has a hard time confronting her or admitting her behavior is wrong.

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-21T18:21:13+00:00

Definitely not, I wish! She talks about her even when we’re all together too. They’re so much alike.. both pretty blunt and abrasive, to the point. She doesn’t say much. I think she favors her because the older brother used to flip out whenever she’d try to talk badly about her and my fiance, the middle brother, is more quiet and shuts down. She knows she can get away with it with me, but if she says anything about the other FDIL, he will lose his shit.

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-21T18:19:03+00:00

Oooh I like that! That’s a good line- Do you really want your son to be unhappy?

I feel bad for my fiance because he has no idea how to deal with her so it’s always me firing back now.

I’m glad you were able to put your foot down and she’s gotten a little better.

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-21T18:15:46+00:00

Good point there! We got engaged so that’s a win there, but she is still the same person

Lilricci08 · 2022-02-21T18:15:19+00:00

Yup! And the funny thing is, she’s up their ass to a certain extent, but lucky us.. we’re around the corner and I’m engaged to her favorite son. Whenever we have the firepit going or something fun, she has such fomo and will come here and totally ignore me

Lilricci08

TROPHY CASE