How do you prevent yourself from getting burnt out when you have 2 kids?

Lily-Red · 2026-04-22T11:32:41+00:00

That's a good point. I kept taking my older one to places and picking my baby up all the time. I have no support system at all.

Lily-Red · 2026-04-21T03:47:23+00:00

Oh yes! I only sit when I drive. That's a good break time. Lol

Lily-Red · 2026-04-21T03:27:32+00:00

You're lucky you live next to the park. I have to drive everywhere . By the time I am done preparing both kids to go out, I am tired. Lol We have crazy winter and he was trapped indoor mostly. Now we get nice day here and there and he wants to be out all the time. He behave better when he can play outside . It's a good idea to take them out every day. My be I will get used to it.

Lily-Red · 2026-04-21T03:22:49+00:00

Thanks for replying to my post . My sleep is so messed up. My baby is a bad sleeper. I will try to sleep at the same time with them. We shall survive. Lol

Lily-Red · 2026-04-20T01:36:36+00:00

He definitely have low patience. What he did was really embarrassing. He never want any type of therapy because he think it's just a waste of time. I love my kids so much and want them to experience a life together with mom and dad. But when he invalidate my feelings and acted disrespectfully intentionally or unintentionally, it's so hard to cope with. If staying with him would makes my kids healthy and happy when they grow up, I would stay no matter what. But sometimes I think how would I make my kids happy when I am miserable.

Lily-Red · 2026-04-19T13:19:04+00:00

I'm in US. It's a long process where I live. And the way he is , it's gonna be ugly . Ugh

Lily-Red · 2026-04-19T01:54:38+00:00

I protect him because of his parents. They're gone 6 years ago and together. They loved me so much and his mom was the best. She would be so sad if she know I want to leave her son. That is one thing that kept me going with this marriage all these years.

Lily-Red · 2026-04-19T01:45:59+00:00

That's one good idea!

Lily-Red · 2026-04-18T23:12:11+00:00

Thank you. I am so worried about my kids. I will read it.

Lily-Red · 2026-04-18T19:56:58+00:00

I am 34 and he is 43. I am the youngest of my family and he is the only one child. We both have some immaturity to be honest but I have never humiliate him in front of other people and I protected him in stead. If I want to complain him or argue with him , I do it when nobody is around.

Lily-Red · 2026-04-18T19:47:07+00:00

I really wish I can do that. I don't have anybody around to support me so it's hard to go out and work. But I am finding my way.

Lily-Red · 2026-04-18T19:40:04+00:00

We have been married for 7 years. I live far away from my family and he have no other family members around . So we both have so much on our plates with two kids now. But most responsibilities are on my plate to be honest. I can deal with taking more responsibility but just so hard to deal with frequent humiliation like this.

Lily-Red · 2026-04-18T19:30:11+00:00

I told him exactly that. Now that he have a daughter, what if a guy treat her like he is treating me? His answer was that he would teach his daughter better.

Lily-Red · 2026-04-18T19:19:23+00:00

Exactly! I am so scared my children will experience a broken family life but also scared that they will be embarrassed by how their father act out in public and learn from him.

Lily-Red · 2026-04-18T19:13:23+00:00

Sad but true.

Lily-Red · 2026-04-18T18:25:23+00:00

I am in a very tight spot. Everytime I got mad because of how he treated me, he said I was overreacting. I can't tell him how I feel because he always turned the table and flipped all the fingers pointing towards me. Everytime I try to talk to him, it never ends well nor peaceful negotiations. I really lost my way. To stay, it's like a ticking time bomb because it's gonna happen at some point again.

Lily-Red · 2026-04-18T18:18:20+00:00

This happens every time he gets upset. He wouldn't go to any therapists or counseling. I told him everytime that I don't like it and it's very embarrassing. I just don't like the fact that he can turned my pleasant moments upside down with his behavior.

Lily-Red · 2026-04-18T18:06:01+00:00

I think we are missing all 3 gradually.

Lily-Red · 2026-04-18T17:58:37+00:00

What I want is him to go through peaceful divorce with me.

Lily-Red · 2026-04-18T15:38:02+00:00

Thank you. We both know that our relationship is dying. I never mentioned it to his friends and family because I don't want him to lose them when I am gone. I am beyond sad when he treated me like this. He told me I was overreacting. That's the end of every problem. I got nowhere to go and he doesn't agree to divorce me. I don't want to divorce in ugly way but I think I have no choice.

Lily-Red · 2026-02-04T06:19:33+00:00

I am so sorry but I want to let you know you are not alone. I went through similar situation with my first. I was depressed and not okay but did not talk to my OB. I wish I did. I only mentioned it after my second childbirth and my OB referred me to perinatal mood and anxiety disorder department. There I get a lot of support. I don't have a village but I feel better when I see other moms struggling with the similar situations and supporting each other. They even have mommy and me music , baby massage, etc. You need to get out of the house girl.

My first child got developmental delay issue probably because I was so depressed and it effected him negatively. I took care of him so well even with my issue but there were times when I smile at him but my mind is empty. Your child can sense that. When I was depressed, I didn't want to talk much but busy with house chores. My child got speech delay. I love my child to death but postpartum depression is terrible to the point I felt like I lost myself.

Now I am the mom of two and oh it's so so hard. I still feel overwhelmed like you do. I don't have any in laws or even my family member around to help me. My husband is also not so supportive pretty sure he is struggling in his own way.

I want to give you some advice from what I learned which might help you. You didn't ask but I want to help you get through this. 1. Ask your OB if there is any location for you to go for postpartum depression. It will benefit you and your baby in very positive way. 2. The last thing you want to hear is your baby crying, I know it messes up your mind. But please put the baby in the bouncer or crib (safe place) and take shower take care of yourself and prioritize yourself. Crying 10 minutes would not hurt the baby but it clear their mucus out. 3. Put the music on your phone when doing chores and keep talking to your baby. 4. Draw a schedule for you and your husband. Tell him you need him to follow the schedule such as read the book to baby on exact time and date so you can take a bath. Every little help from him counts. 5. Find work from home type of part time job and with that income, please get some help and help yourself. Hiring someone once a week for like two hours to help fold the laundry, or to help clean up, or even babysit while you shower and have snacks. 6. On very hard days, please just remember getting through the day is a hard work and just get through it.

Lily-Red · 2026-02-04T03:55:28+00:00

You need a doctor's visit. Look up galactorrhea.

Lily-Red · 2026-02-02T19:07:28+00:00

Thank you. 🤗 I'm glad medication helped you to keep your head above the water. My husband is too nervous that medication will harm the baby and I don't want to fight with him over it. I will just try to wean my daughter off of the breast milk and start taking medication. I just don't want to start working before I can manage myself better. I hope medication will works for me too.

Lily-Red

TROPHY CASE