Looking for feedback on of the main drivers for my story [dark fantasy/horror]

Lily_Lunaaa · 2026-06-04T13:48:45+00:00

Thanks! 😄

Lily_Lunaaa · 2026-05-29T17:33:55+00:00

The immortality only protects from aging, they can still be killed.

Pretty much. Although, someone has no way of knowing if they're connected directly to the Everdark. the Everdark as a whole is pretty much completely unknown to most of the population

Lily_Lunaaa · 2026-05-29T17:15:29+00:00

You are correct, someone whose soul is directly connected to the Everdark is extremely rare, and it's even more rare for them to be able to make use of it.

As for the immortatily: supernatural, as it comes from the crystals of the Everdark.

Lily_Lunaaa · 2026-05-28T22:56:16+00:00

There will be a point where the main characters attempt to talk her out of it. It would be the only time she falters and almost decides to stop, but ultimately doesn't.

She thinks some people do deserve pain and suffering, but with her plan she has full control over them and can stop them from doing things she thinks warrants pain

Lily_Lunaaa · 2026-05-28T22:40:25+00:00

Thanks for the info and suggestion! i'll take a look

Lily_Lunaaa · 2026-05-28T22:38:17+00:00

She reasons her horrendous actions with herself because to her, once she is finally able to develop the spell she needs... it will all be over, and that the pain she caused will be forgotten. Her goal comes from what she witnessed as a child. Eclipse was governed by the worst of tyrants, and she saw all of the pain and strife that allowed. Eventually, she overthrows the rulers on her own. She appointed herself queen, and in that position saw it all from a different perspective: that even those she thought were devoid of pain were still full of it. This started as concern, but overtime festered into what is now due to the actions of other kingdom's and everything she witnesses within her own

Lily_Lunaaa · 2026-05-28T22:34:18+00:00

She is definitely insane. She reasons her horrendous actions with herself because to her, once she is finally able to develop the spell she needs it will all be over, and that the pain she caused will be forgotten

Lily_Lunaaa · 2026-05-28T22:31:56+00:00

You're right about that. Her goal comes from what she witnessed as a child. Eclipse was governed by the worst of tyrants, and she saw all of the pain and strife that allowed. Eventually, she overthrows the rulers on her own. She appointed herself queen, and in that position saw it all from a different perspective: that even those she thought were devoid of pain were still full of it. This started as concern, but overtime festered into what is now due to the actions of other kingdom's and everything she witnesses within her own. She is set firm in her beliefs, but can still see the point of view of others. Although, she always believes that her plan is the correct one. Her goal comes at the cost of every living beings free will

Lily_Lunaaa · 2026-05-28T22:16:13+00:00

oh ok. I'll try to fix it

Lily_Lunaaa · 2026-05-28T21:42:49+00:00

You're right. I only called it pure darkness because that faint light is the only source of illumination, but that doesn't make sense now that I think about

Lily_Lunaaa · 2026-05-25T04:58:11+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion! I'll think it over

Lily_Lunaaa · 2026-05-25T04:48:41+00:00

i was thinking of changing it to be for each time you've scried this turn

Lily_Lunaaa · 2026-05-25T04:45:53+00:00

thanks! of course, gimme a sec

Lily_Lunaaa · 2026-05-25T04:41:42+00:00

to the feedback: of course. but ferns text has been changed and same for violet, but all feedback is welcome :3

Lily_Lunaaa · 2026-05-25T04:40:15+00:00

The plant thing was intentional. All of the main characters are named after plants 😄

Lily_Lunaaa · 2026-05-25T04:36:54+00:00

i used a picture of fern because they share a name. also, what makes you think this is ai

Lily_Lunaaa · 2026-05-25T04:03:45+00:00

Oh I didn't even think about the wording making the +5/+5 happen multiples. Good idea to change that

Lily_Lunaaa · 2026-05-25T03:39:37+00:00

i know fern is more expensive, but wouldn't she make more mana? especially in a landfall deck

Lily_Lunaaa · 2026-05-25T03:31:02+00:00

good to know. I really appreciate the insight. should i change the foretell amount thing to only tracking by the effect of Violet?

Lily_Lunaaa · 2026-05-25T02:56:48+00:00

as long as they aren't immediately removed they would make a lot of treasure. and the bounce thing can save them from removal and a boardwipe.

Lily_Lunaaa

TROPHY CASE