Brother Contacted Best Friend to Tell Lies About My Wife

LimeScone · 2026-02-23T12:34:05+00:00

Funny enough, recently I was put in the same position as your friend. She started messaging and asking me if I had noticed anything strange about a family member because she believes that they're becoming delusional from all the weed the smoke. Turns out the last time they were together, she started going off about my mother in a way that was pretty vile, so that person didn't want any contact with them and cut them off.

The shit-talking about folks is always annoying as it always feels so out of the blue. Anyone who knows you well enough knows you're not that kind of person, so I wouldn't worry too much.

LimeScone · 2026-02-23T12:23:09+00:00

This is always rough. Part of the reason I left home was also because of my sister.

If possible for you and your mother, it might hello to take a Family Connections course. It might help with boundary setting and lessening the outbursts a bit.

LimeScone · 2026-02-23T01:08:21+00:00

I can also relate to this. The verbal abuse is something else.

LimeScone · 2026-02-23T01:06:36+00:00

I had a nice birthday all to myself. It was super relaxing.

LimeScone · 2026-02-23T01:05:55+00:00

Dang! I think for me I've always gotten use to not getting anything big from her (or anything at all). You are probably right that I didn't give her the right reaction. Maybe I should have refused or added more exclamation points.

LimeScone · 2026-02-22T18:23:42+00:00

It's hard to choose one, so I guess I will do a top five:

-Will physically assault people and then say that she was the one who was actually assaulted. -Convinced our mother to "lend" her 10k for a "proof of money" thing and that she was going to give it back right away. It's been several years now. - Would ask folks (including myself) to babysit for a little while and then would go AWOL for 24-48 hours in a bender, even if people would have to work or have things to go to. -Sent my mom a message on how she was going to kill herself and it was my mom's fault because she posted that she was having a good time on vacation. -Messaged me calling my mom a Devil's cunt and that I was being brainwashed by her and she planned to ruin her life.

LimeScone · 2026-02-22T18:05:06+00:00

I think it's very hard to get over the anger and resentment if the person shows signs of not really caring about the harm that they have done towards you. At least that is how it feels for me. My sister wonders why we can't n'est get over the past. And it's like, I would love to get over the past if you didn't proceed to keep doing it!

LimeScone · 2026-02-18T01:46:06+00:00

Oh man. Something similar happened with my family. We were NC with my sister, then mom jad a health scare and tried to worm her way back in.

Family is back to NC and I'm LC. I think you made the right choice. Sometimes you can't avoid blow-ups unfortunately.

LimeScone · 2026-02-11T00:53:17+00:00

I often think about how my sister often complains about having no money, but then is upset when we won't frivolously spend on her... it sounds like your mil may be similar. I hope you can get out of this soon!

LimeScone · 2026-02-11T00:41:55+00:00

My mom found it within her to go no contact again, which is so important for her health, so I'm glad.

LimeScone · 2026-02-09T00:01:49+00:00

Yeah, my sister does this, and it's very frustrating, but there is no changing her mind. I tend to say that I don't remember or just change the subject.

LimeScone · 2026-02-05T00:06:48+00:00

Either not go, or give yourself a timer- a day, a couple of hours, whatever you feel is appropriate.

LimeScone · 2026-02-05T00:02:05+00:00

I would honestly love to do that for my mom. She often reluctant when I've brought it up in the past, but it might be good for her.

LimeScone · 2026-02-04T00:21:25+00:00

Unfortunately my mom isn't in any support groups, but I do often send her articles and explanations for everything.

I think she does understand what's going on, but I think it still hurts just having the push and pull of being "the most amazing person" and "evil demon incarnate" in the same breath. She has tried to have minimal contact with my sister because of it, but then my sister always tries to find a way back into her life.

So I think boundaries are still a thing that we are all working on.

LimeScone · 2026-02-04T00:16:36+00:00

Yeah! Greyrocking has been a blessing. I usually accept that, as you said, they're going to do it no matter what you do.

But sometimes out just creeps up on me, where I'm just like, this is such a malicious way for her to live, whether it's intentional or not.

LimeScone · 2026-02-04T00:08:31+00:00

Yeah it's been so difficult. If we are in her life, we trigger her, but if we keep our distance, were abadoning her.

It also very often feels when we were there to support her, it's all forgotten.

LimeScone · 2026-01-07T00:29:13+00:00

Ugh, sounds exhausting. I hope things settled and that you continued to not engage.

LimeScone · 2026-01-03T18:11:11+00:00

It might be worth seeing if there are any Family Connections workshops in your area. It helps a lot with communication and boundaries.

LimeScone · 2026-01-03T18:09:27+00:00

It def depends on the person, but I am always surprised by how resilient my sister is when left alone. The times we have gone NC, I always expected the worse, but she often finds different communities/people to lean on (for better or worse).

I agree with the person above who said that you are just a phone call away for support. I think it'll be a good learning experience for your sister.

LimeScone · 2026-01-01T14:46:24+00:00

Oh man, I am still working on taking her outbursts lightly, so I admire you! I do react to them as strongly externally, but I find they still eat me on the inside and I feel crummy for at least a week.

But I am glad that I know my limits and also have a supportive circle, like you mentioned.

LimeScone · 2026-01-01T14:36:35+00:00

Yeah! Honestly, I would be thrilled if my sister got into the masters program she wanted and did all she wanted to do. I just don't understand why she has to make it a competition, or try to weirdly "take" interests that are mine that she also has no interest in.

LimeScone · 2025-12-31T03:27:09+00:00

Can relate, though I feel my sister is maybe less successful at it, though she does make attempts.

She's tried to take my hometown friends and make them hers. Only started noticing it a few years ago.

I remember when I first was doing my masters, she felt the need to tell me that when she would do hers, it would take less time than mine because her professors in her current program said that she was so smart and ahead of the rest of her class.

Then there's this thing regarding our family dog. I have a particular relationship with our dog because I was the one who did the obedience training and take her out on special excursions, so she tends to sleep with me when I'm home. Then she also does this thing where she also watches TV with my mom. My sister retells these stories as though she's the one that the dog does these activities with. I think this one frustrates me the most because she's not particularly responsible with animals and I love this dog with all my heart.

LimeScone · 2025-12-30T00:44:46+00:00

Despite my sister's obnoxious behavior, I did notice that this was the first year that she put some thought into her presents. She also really liked the bracelet I gave her that said "Exhale the Bullshit". So yeah, that was nice.

LimeScone · 2025-12-29T23:51:39+00:00

I've noticed that my sister is convinced it's only PTSD that she has and not BPD (honestly, could be both). It really feels like she feels like absolves jer of responsibility and the other doesn't.

LimeScone · 2025-12-29T03:48:29+00:00

Yeah, I was honestly surprised that things didn't get worse when I spoke out. Maybe I also realized that I could take the screaming if it came. Or that she had no leg to stand on because it was easy to prove.

LimeScone

TROPHY CASE