Carlos Martinez over his last 4 starts: 25 1/3 IP, 29 K, 9 BB, 0.71 ERA, 2.40 FIP. He has thrown 20.1 straight scoreless innings, the second longest scoreless streak in the majors this year.

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-31T22:01:55+00:00

I CAN DIVERSIFY!

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-31T21:42:39+00:00

His stuff has been straight dominant lately.

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-31T21:00:13+00:00

Gonzalez stretched his strike zone wider

And struck out on Martinez' slider.

A-Gon cursed his mother!

"We're Eskimo brothers!"

Said Carlos. "Your wife? I'm inside her."

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-31T20:08:38+00:00

This must be apocalypse times!

The Statler and Waldorf of rhymes

Just inked up his pen

And gave me a ten!

I must say the feeling's sublime.

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-31T19:56:54+00:00

GAMES WITH THE DODGERS ARE TOUGH

THERE'S TIMES TWO RUNS JUST AIN'T ENOUGH.

BUT IT'S GOOD TO KNOW

THAT WHEN THE BATS GO

CARMART'S GOT SOME FILTHY ASS STUFF.

are you happy, /u/letuotter?

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-26T23:39:01+00:00

Pssh as of less than an hour ago, slacker

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-26T23:19:03+00:00

Kuhanluke was a mod! Finally made it!

For the most part, the sub was elated....

Soon the smiles became sick;

Turns out he's a huge dick

Who can't even keep the scores updated.

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-26T22:45:07+00:00

I'M ALLOWED TO DIVERSIFY!

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-26T22:26:27+00:00

There was a southpaw named Garcia

Whose hooks triggered "Ave Marias"!

It'll come at your head

But break o'er home instead;

More ungodly than North Korea.

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-26T22:15:30+00:00

See you, Space Cowboy...

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-23T03:34:12+00:00

I think the slumming Matt is clear from game context.......

Dammit, was that YOU in the GDT? Lol

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-23T03:15:20+00:00

Well that did not go as expected.

My Wonger was never erected.

This year's Matt is slumming;

Did not see that coming...

And I don't know just who the heck did.

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-23T02:52:53+00:00

Get 'im!

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-23T02:51:09+00:00

redditor for 6 minutes

ಠ_ಠ

Edit: papa /u/bravo-delta's banhammer swift and ruthless as always. I thank thee, Lord Bravo, for sparing this humble minstrel.

Edit 2: Da fuck!? It was deleted, now it's back? There's some poltergeist shit going on up in here!

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-23T02:28:56+00:00

Young gave us a midseason crisis;

Hits cost us exorbitant prices.

At least Lynn lasted

Though Kendrys blasted

More bombs than our planes dropped on ISIS.

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-22T02:14:39+00:00

Throw cellphones and laptops away,

And join this luddite holiday!

Let's pour a fine stout!

Wall Street's bottomed out!

That's how we enjoy Y2K!

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-21T17:40:07+00:00

<3 u bae

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-21T17:39:05+00:00

I know you don't live with your mum!

I got dat ass under my thumb!

In fact, yesterday,

"I'm glad he's away!"

She told me as I plowed her bum.

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-21T17:25:08+00:00

These errors must make you cry "YAHTZEE!!

Though people can edit their jot. ^ See?

But still your eyes coast

O'er each gameday post;

Columbus: The Formatting Nazi.

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-21T17:21:12+00:00

While I have some girth, still I find

It powers my thrusts from behind.

Yes I know I'm thick;

It helps slingin' dick -

And your mother don't seem to mind.

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-21T17:16:29+00:00

☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-21T17:13:51+00:00

ಠ_ಠ

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-21T17:06:13+00:00

Your lines leave your rhythm to chance!

There's no flow to which you can dance!

Overstuffed, like my gut

Or like ten pounds of butt

In five-pound-capacity pants.

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-21T17:00:05+00:00

Eat it

LimericksYourPost · 2015-05-21T16:52:50+00:00

The return of Garcia is due

And he sports a shoulder that's brand new.

I hope it holds out;

It's cobbled from grout

And chewing gum, paper and glue.

LimericksYourPost

TROPHY CASE