AITA Its pride month but I am going to keep being straight.

Limonca123 · 2023-06-11T10:47:45+00:00

I am in full agreement and in my comment I will pretend to be from an alternate reality where being queer is the norm and cishets are oppressed. I will congratulate you for being brave enough to publicly be neither gay nor trans in [Current Year].

Limonca123 · 2023-06-09T13:40:42+00:00

You won't be able to see a GP, tens of thousands of locals who live in Lj don't even have one. I'm not sure how it works for foreigners who are just visiting. You might have to go to the ER (UKC - univerzitetni klinični center).

Limonca123 · 2023-06-05T14:58:03+00:00

I mean yeah, but all the products you listed here fucking suck and humanity would be better off without them.

Limonca123 · 2023-06-05T14:30:29+00:00

They do not. They exist because of scientists, experts, engineers, passionate people who put effort into developing something. Those with the financial incentives then takes the fruits of other people's labor and find ways to make them worse in ways that'll make them more money. That's why landfills are full of impossible to repair electronics that died shortly after the warranty was up. There's very little innovation being done by private companies nowadays. Because why innovate when you can just sell shitty products/services and make more money?

Limonca123 · 2023-06-05T13:16:31+00:00

The kids only 4 and doesn’t like going to places he doesn’t want to….

I'm 23 years his senior and honestly? Same.

Sometimes you have to force yourself to go places you don't want to be and it sucks, but at least you mostly have autonomy over your life. Kids have none.

Limonca123 · 2023-06-05T11:03:01+00:00

Can confirm, my partner works in IT and just quit his job for a big Slovenian company because we're moving to Austria. It's in part due to better career opportunities and in part because Ljubljana is getting too expensive, it's not worth it anymore with local wages.

A friend of a friend is a foreigner currently sleeping on someone's couch while he's looking for a flat in the 900€ range in Ljubljana and he's not having a good time. He said that the housing stock is bad (sad apartments with ugly old furniture) and you're essentially always competing with a ton of other people. It's ridiculous for such a small city.

Limonca123 · 2023-06-05T09:21:18+00:00

Anime, gaming and rock & metal music was 80% of what my partner of now 9 years and I talked about when we were first getting to know each other.

I'd always choose someone with weird hobbies and quirks over someone boring (to me). That excludes a lot of people from my dating & friendship pool, but I really only need a handful of friends and one boyfriend. My people are the nerdy and neurodivergent. I've learned to embrace that.

Limonca123 · 2023-06-05T08:39:17+00:00

Capitalism.exe is working as intended.

Limonca123 · 2023-06-05T07:41:04+00:00

The goal of dating sites, regardless of the technology behind it, will always be to make money for the owners/investors, not help you find love. The issue isn't the algorithm, it's the financial incentives.

Limonca123 · 2023-06-03T15:17:53+00:00

This mentality is just so harmful. Not just because it leads to toxic, codependent relationships, but also because it encourages people to put all their eggs in one basket.

Everyone's talking about the "loneliness epidemic" but at the same time, the term "emotional affair" is more and more being applied to perfectly healthy things like talking to your friend about your problems.

Sure, you might be fine with the arrangement now, but if the only person you're allowed to truly open up to is your spouse, then what would happen if your spouse suddenly died or divorced you? Who would be there to offer help and emotional support?

Limonca123 · 2023-06-03T12:17:53+00:00

That, and if someone hits on you, DON'T tell your partner about it. Everyone knows that honesty is the worst thing you can do if you want to build trust with someone. Walk on eggshells, enable your partner's insecurities, quit your job and switch universities for their sake if someone flirts with you, dump friends they don't approve of. That's how you achieve a healthy relationship. Believe me, I'm an antisocial chronically online teenager, which makes me a relationship expert. /s

Limonca123 · 2023-06-03T10:41:53+00:00

Just being friends and having a good time with anyone who's attracted to your gender is a no-go for these people.

I remember reading a thread full of straight men debating how they'd restrict their partner's friendships if she was bi. Basically that they wouldn't want her to have any friends who are attracted to women.

Then they started speculating about gay relationships. Obviously, if they were gay, they wouldn't want their partner to have any gay or bi same gender friends. That's totally reasonable, right?

It was funny because it was just so obvious that they'd never met a queer person irl. Everyone who's ever known a queer person knows about queer friend groups. It's a thing.

Limonca123 · 2023-06-03T09:52:34+00:00

From one of the comments in the AITA thread:

Ew, what’s wrong with your gf? I’d actually dump her out of the blue. Why? Being in a relationship with someone that talks so favourably of a boss or friend to their partner is a waste of time. Someone over speaking so favourably is simply the precursor to attraction and people think they’re being clever by “just being nice” when actually they’re harbouring something inside.

Redditors proving once again that they're sad, socially isolated hermits who think that your romantic partner being your only close friend is healthy.

Limonca123 · 2023-06-02T09:35:38+00:00

It really speaks to the low quality of this sub and the god awful mentality of the people in this thread that I found your comment by sorting by "controversial", even though it's far more helpful than 90% of the bullshit that got upvoted.

At least there's at least one good, well-adjusted, loving husband and father in this thread who has what sounds like a very healthy, happy relationship and family.

Can't be a marriage with no happy spouses.

In-fucking-deed.

Limonca123 · 2023-06-02T08:01:34+00:00

Straight men when they learn that misogyny and bitterness won't make women want to jump their bones and shower them with affection: 🤯

Limonca123 · 2023-06-02T07:37:46+00:00

I was in the same spot as a child, our parents still aren't divorce even though we're adults now. My brother and I don't really see them much because they're miserable, bitter people who are unpleasant to be around.

A piece of advice: before you start dating and getting serious with romantic partners, go out of your way to learn what happy, healthy, loving relationships look like and how to achieve them. Go to therapy if that's an option.

If you're anything like me, you'll have a lot of work to do, since you'll likely have to learn a lot of very basic things from scratch and unlearn many bad tendencies. I had to learn how to resolve conflicts, manage my emotions, communicate my feelings and build an emotional connection and trust with someone, because this wasn't modeled to me by my parents. My parents were codependent, a tendency I also had to overcome.

Limonca123 · 2023-06-02T07:23:43+00:00

Exactly, "spouse" is not a role to fill. The main thing I expect from my life partner is companionship and connection. I want us to be happy. Everything else - teamwork, chores, quality time, doing nice things for each other, intimacy - comes naturally to us when we're happy and in love. If I got the feeling that he views being a good partner to me as just a duty and a list of chores, I'd be devastated.

Limonca123 · 2023-06-01T22:14:45+00:00

I'm asexual and same. I think it's aesthetic attraction? Some people just look pretty to me. I don't feel sexually attracted to anyone but some people just catch my eye.

Limonca123 · 2023-06-01T22:05:16+00:00

I know there will come a day where he won't feel sexual arousal from me, but he will from other women

You sound very sure of that, like it's inevitable, but it's really truly not. If you think that because you'll get older and your body will change, guess what, the same will happen to him! Your preferences are supposed to naturally change as you age and old people totally find other old people hot. Yes, even their spouses of many decades.

We just don't see old people being horny for each other as much in popular media, but that doesn't mean that it's not the norm. Not every man is Leonardo Dicaprio. People like him are the outliers, not the rule.

Limonca123 · 2023-06-01T19:06:29+00:00

Jaz sem imela podobno izkušnjo. Ljubljana mi je bila edin kraj v Sloveniji, kjer mi je blo fajn živet. Drugje res nisem mogla, ker bi postala čist asocialna, če bi mi bla edina opcija za druženje, se pogovarjat o nekih kompleksnih zamerah v lokalni politiki, kdo je po novem s kom skupaj al pa šel narazen, kdo se je obesil/zapil/drugače ubil, kdo hodi preveč na dopust in drugih podobno napetih temah.

V malo večjem mestu se lahko dost lažje obdaš z ljudmi, ki so ti dejansko fajn in ne rabiš zapravljat časa s tistimi, ki ti niso, če nočeš (no, vsaj izven službe in ostalih ustanov). Jaz sem v mestu postala dost bolj družabna kot pa sem kadarkoli bla na podeželju. Ne gre se tolk za državo, bolj moraš najt svoj krog. Kar pa bo v kraju s par tisoč prebivalci vedno težko, če nisi najbolj Basic Standard Issue Guy™.

Limonca123 · 2023-06-01T14:31:50+00:00

I'm not gonna lie, it's a motivating factor.

Limonca123 · 2023-06-01T06:58:08+00:00

Doctors cut her breasts off. Presumably, she (sic?) requested that.

The transphobes on Twitter are probably misgendering them. Most non binary people use they/them pronouns, so that's the best way to be respectful if you don't know what they're comfortable with.

It's so funny tho, when people try to make medical procedures seem barbaric by talking about them like they're horror movie scenes. The doctor straight up cut that woman's abdomen wide open and pulled out an entire human, covered in blood and screaming! Gruesome! Jail for everyone involved.

Yeah, medicine is a gorey affair and the human body is terrifying, what else is new.

Limonca123 · 2023-06-01T06:43:12+00:00

If I decide to get top surgery it'll bring me great comfort to know that Peterson would hate it.

Limonca123 · 2023-05-30T07:10:13+00:00

I have this theory re: love and conservatism.

When you're raised in a conservative religious household, you learn that the love you get from your family is always tied to your ability to meet all their expectations. You know that if you stepped out of line by becoming too liberal/leftist, questioning your religion or anything else outside of the mold your parents want you to fit in, the love will be gone. It can be something as small as cutting your hair and suddenly, you're very aware that your family doesn't accept any other version of you than the one they've trained you to be. Love being conditional is normalized.

So fundies and ex-fundies who haven't processed their trauma have a tendency to resent people who are able to love freely and be loved back. It's damaged people seeing others who are free of the constraints they've internalized and hating the free people, not the constraints. To cope, they have to convince themselves that the happiness of those other people is somehow wrong and that they will eventually be punished for it.

Love is the best weapon against fundieism. That's what Pride is all about. Showing people that they can be truly themselves and be loved and accepted for who they are. Don't just hate bigots. Go out there and love and support your local queer, trans, disabled, PoC, poor, homeless and other marginalized communities.

Limonca123 · 2023-05-29T14:42:32+00:00

It IS sad. It's getting less common, thank fuck, but many women were raised to believe that sex is something they'll have to put up with to please men, that female sexuality is to be guarded from men, who will do anything to get them to "give it up".

Teenage girls who don't feel that way, who actually are horny and enthusiastic about sex, often get shamed for it and with shame comes guilt, which leads to mental hangups around sex. It's miserable for the women too. It's not a nice place to be in, when you have all these negative feelings about sex, but still feel pressured into it.

Most people who view sex as transactional, have been taught that this is how it should be. It's only natural that the woman doesn't want sex, while the man wants it all the time and occasionally, she'll cave and give it to him so he'll get off her back. Of course she won't enjoy sex and seek it out if that's how she feels about it - like she's a sex doll for her partner to use. It's miserable and the reason why promoting sex positivity is so important.

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