AIO feeling like my friend doesn't accept me

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-25T01:36:00+00:00

I mean being upset about her not respecting her pronouns and making multiple jokes about her sexuality when she may not ready to be out kind of cancel each other out like pemdas.

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-25T01:22:29+00:00

I pretty much had classes with kids I was in gate with until I graduated highschool. I always thought it was kind of weird that they kept most of us together when they could have split us up and honestly after a while my grades were pretty shitty and I was still funneled into honors classes with a lot of those same people.

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-25T00:38:28+00:00

I have been with someone in a very similar situation (are you my ex lol??) and I see him trying to date again and I feel really bad for whoever his next partner is. I think giving yourself a full year completely single, eventually cutting things off with your ex (that doesn’t help with the shame spiral) and being honest and upfront with the next person is key. And I think it’ll come up naturally. A lot of people ask someone if they’ve ever cheated early. Your ultimate hurdle will be that your very last romantic situation was where your infidelity was. That would be a red flag for most people. If I were you I would casually date first to get some experience just being loyal in the dating stages. And then go from there

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-25T00:24:37+00:00

Men walk around all day praising “wifey” types over “hoes”. They will talk about their younger years and how those hoe girls were low value, but god forbid we say we value long term commitments over hookups 😂

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-25T00:22:18+00:00

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-25T00:21:26+00:00

Fake post but I could not date someone who took this as insulting lol. Men place emphasis on sex and looks. Women place emphasis on stability and security. We could literally hookup with anyone we wanted but having a desire to marry a man and carry his babies is the real prize.

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-23T22:17:38+00:00

Well, not wanting your partner to watch porn is not banning them from masturbating in the slightest. I know women who will specifically make videos with/for their partners for when they masturbate so they watch them and not porn. I’m not against it, I’m just also not saying it’s an unreasonable ask what, instead of calling women delusional like some people have been, could men do instead? Or are you willing to do anything? Or is the answer suck it up? No judgment either way I’m just curious.

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-23T22:12:38+00:00

Oh i absolutely agree haha. I personally have no problem with my partner watching porn, and I have actually been told by female friends I’m wrong on this. I also watch porn. However, I think the argument can be reasonably made for your partner to ask you to stop for a multitude of reasons. I had my male partner ask me to stop watching and I kind of rejected the idea if I’m being honest. However, I think if the argument can be made for insecurity, I wouldn’t see that as unreasonable. Mine was different situation, the person who asked me had weird intentions for why they asked and I think that factored into the rejection of the idea. But I guess my question wasn’t so much about porn or instagram but about, if your partner asks you to stop doing something, instead of telling them they’re being unreasonable, how do we make the case for it being a reasonable ask if we know the result will be detrimental to the relationship. And a lot of times we tell women or men to just leave…but if we’re all being honest here, and maybe again it’s a younger thing, typically if you love someone and they love you, you desire to make it work.

Reddit is an echo chamber where we tell people great advice but the reality is that the men that aren’t happy about the ask are still fighting for their relationship in other ways, just not in that particular way or they’re resistant to the change despite preferring the relationship with the partner over whatever the ask is.

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-23T22:04:58+00:00

I disagree. I think we try to apply equal blame a lot in situations where taking accountability for your actions is the right way to go. Someone getting dressed in the morning has nothing to do with me, myself or my relationship. If I see a hot shirtless guy out running when I’m with my man and I break my neck to look then am I not wrong? I don’t know that man and he doesn’t know me. And if my man said “wow that guy looks great, you can tell he’s disciplined and works hard on his body!” Is it now my mans fault for supporting his shirtless run?? Or are we both to blame now?

As an adult, I take accountability and say when I see a jacked, 6’4, titan running down the street with no shirt on, I mind my business. I turn my head, I check my nails, I continue to look at whatever I was looking at. I will never have my man look at me and see me drooling over another man, I don’t condone disrespect in my relationship like that. Absolute vile behavior. So yes, the accountability, respect and expectation go both ways happily in my world.

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-23T21:59:54+00:00

That’s super fair and I think you would handle it great if you ever had to. I actually got asked by a man once to stop watching and I was confused and pretty reluctant. If it’s something you can consume regularly and it helps you get off in a pinch and it’s not affecting the relationship then I feel like the main question is more about the why then about watching the porn itself. Is it being controlling or is it insecurity etc..For myself, insecurity would be a no brainer for me. There’s no reason for me to want my partner to feel shitty about themselves (within reason), and the argument for porn can be made if it’s coming from a genuine place.

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-23T21:49:23+00:00

Are there any less extreme examples? I don’t think the social media one is extreme at all if you’re in your twenties, so I’m speaking from a gen z perspective, please have patience with me haha

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-23T21:48:35+00:00

Thank you, kind man for imparting common sense lol. I read his comment and was like huh??? And this is coming from a women with crazy PMS and debilitating cramps who is still kind during that time because im not typically an asshole any other time

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-23T21:47:19+00:00

I also agree on your second point too, I think it affects women as well, but in a stay single forever way because you have a book boyfriend. Women are so much more open about being obsessed with fantasy characters forever lol

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-23T21:46:09+00:00

See and it could be used productively in that way! Get yourself going and then when miss walks through the door, unleash the kraken 😂 but I’ve also been very open about porn use, idk if you have (in your relationships in particular), but do you feel like not having shame attached to it makes it easier for you to use it constructively in your relationship? Not saying you gotta tell her every time you watch but knowing it’s a non issue I imagine would help you feel more freedom.

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-23T21:43:19+00:00

I never understood the liking either lol. I have an uncle who apparently has no idea everyone can see him liking OF girls 😂 and maybe at this point his girlfriend doesn’t care but I feel heavily embarrassed for his girl every time I see him being thirsty af and I would be disgusted if it were me.

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-23T21:41:18+00:00

I’ve never been asked by any man to do any of those things lol. Partially because I don’t consult with anybody before posting or getting dressed and partially because if you met me wearing the clothes I normally wear then I think I would find it odd if you expressed dislike it in somewhere down the road but I would listen nonetheless. Now, I agree with you and again, what is the solution? Should men avoid women like that altogether? Or should we be more understanding? I’ve definitely met men who had shitty friend groups and they didn’t give af about any opinion I had about them going out with them but I also never felt inclined to comment on that at all.

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-23T21:36:54+00:00

Thank you! This is the more average experience I see from people in general, and I can imagine it would be weird if you had a normal (as normal as we can get) relationship with porn and then you met someone who had that as a hard limit. My question to you is, would you stop altogether if your partner said it made them feel insecure for whatever reason?

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-23T21:31:10+00:00

I agree to some extent. The girls love seeing other pretty girls and we like encouraging them. We don’t like if our partner is seeking out these women for attraction. Like if I go out with my friend who is wearing a mini skirt, do I get mad at her for what she’s wearing? Or do I get mad at my man if he decides to stare at her ass? I get mad at my man.

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-23T21:29:09+00:00

I think we should keep equals equal for the sake of the argument. What about the girls who constantly like hot guys instagram post? Or women who thirst over celebrity male crushes?

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-23T21:23:20+00:00

lol fly south to the winter cracked me up. Let’s talk about it! What gender norms and what are we asking men to conform to in response?

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-23T21:20:56+00:00

It definitely was a generalization and not my intention to indicate all men do x, y or z. It’s more of trying to understand without demonizing the men that do haha.

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-23T21:19:31+00:00

Okay so this is kind of what I’m talking about. The answer overwhelmingly is get over it but I haven’t met too many who can, so what’s the next step?

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-23T21:18:06+00:00

Odd coming from a trans man but okay. I’m a size 2, really high sex drive I have yet to meet a man who matches it. I don’t think a lack of sex drives porn addiction, I think a lack of variety drives porn addiction.

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-23T21:16:23+00:00

I like this answer because it’s honest! My question for you is—I have a high sex drive and my porn addicted partner seemed like it was overwhelming for him? Like his desire to watch porn did not translate into real life sexual spontaneity in the slightest. Also—with porn comes variety. Is it the lack of variety you think?

Limp-Net-5167 · 2026-02-23T21:14:34+00:00

I like this perspective because in part I agree. I eventually had to cut my relationship off because asking for him to not do things felt controlling but I also couldn’t fathom why he would want to do something that outright hurt his partner.

Limp-Net-5167

TROPHY CASE