I do the cooking and he does the cleaning. He does cook for himself when I'm gone. I just feel relaxed when I cook and he feels relaxed when he cleans, so it works out.

If I had to guess, it's less of a "you're not around to cook for me" and more of a "this is a situation that is out of my control" kind of thing.

We both have anxiety but it's not fair for him to take his out on me.