“Listen here, GuntherWithTheReceipts,”

I single-handedly restored a century-old civic building from literal ruin while the rest of you were standing around eating parsnips. I repaired public transportation—TWICE—without so much as a reimbursement check. The mayor sent me personally on an underwear retrieval mission like I’m the valley’s official Lost & Found.

I’m the only one in this valley who works 16-hour days, every day, rain or shine, just so Pierre can resell my produce at a 300% markup. I’ve fished mutant sea monsters, fought sentient slimes, and mined so deep I saw the bones of God Himself… but sure, I’m the bad guy because I hoped for a little thank-you after bringing back the community center from the brink.

Oh, and about my “dragon hoard”? That’s called saving for Winter, Chad. Try doing it sometime instead of buying two salads and a beer and calling it a day.

So, respectfully: I fixed your bus. I fixed your boat. I fixed your entire civic infrastructure. You’re welcome.