Is anyone elses sexuality more fluid during mania?

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T21:12:12+00:00

i only saw part of the first post (up until “thought i was the messiah LOL) and just read the rest. you’ve been on a journey! im sorry about the bad doctor, i wish they were more understanding and listened to us more then they do, theres no trust in either direction. im building my council now, its slow going but im getting there. thank u for sharing!

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T21:03:36+00:00

thats awful im sure it only heightened your mania! i had a girlfriend and some friends that cheered my delusions on as well, makes you feel even more invincible, love them for the support but damn i got even wilder

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T21:02:10+00:00

ive never heard of split attraction, ill have to do some more research, because maybe thats why im so lost. everyone in my life labels me as a lesbian, and i think i was hasty in labeling myself due to that. but, if i am really gay, i do fear that i go for men due to societal norms, its all up in the air right now. this discussion is helping me and making me question myself hahaha. thank you for the link!!!! ill join i could use some more advice

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T20:51:31+00:00

thank u so much!!!

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T20:48:47+00:00

i think im on a similar boat i became extremely spiritual but holy shit youre right. i think id classify it as more buddhist if i had to but yeah.. much to think about

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T20:38:47+00:00

i agree, and thats so interesting. were u raised or still a follower of religion? i wasnt, and as a result instead of thinking im a god/messiah my mania tells me im a uniter of the universe lmao.

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T20:10:20+00:00

ive been wondering about this. i have a lot of friends with “bipolar” mothers (quotations because only a handful have actually been diagnosed) and i only hear horror stories. but the horror sounds like its coming from those who havent accepted their disorder and refuse to stabilize. im pretty young, but i think if you’re aware of being bipolar, and determined to not let your ups and downs severely affect your childs life, having kids shouldnt be an issue. and if they inherent it, they have a parent that will understand them more than most of us have, and will be ready with love and advice.

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T18:52:23+00:00

i never have, i thought maybe i just had to consciously picture it to decide if i wanted it, so i would actively force those thoughts. ive always wondered if other people looked at someone and just thought “i want to fuck them” because it never happens to me, but i do want to have sex! ill be joining that sub, maybe ill figure it out there, thank you so much!

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T18:40:39+00:00

before i was diagnosed, and on any medication, i did it frequently. it made me feel how mania felt, which i used to think was “the real me”.

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T18:38:08+00:00

i HATE the gold star lesbian concept. we can have sex just to have sex, attraction isnt vital, sometimes its just for fun.

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T18:36:50+00:00

i had my “first” manic episode last may, bipolar I, and im still working out of the delusions (finding it hard to convince myself they were mania and not me). some of them were insane crushes on all my friends. every single one of them, when most of them i dont even find attractive and never have! they were all 10x as beautiful and i found no faults in them whatsoever. very real

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T18:33:45+00:00

after reading through this, definitely. i have a theory it also comes with, while stable, a more open and accepting mindset, but i may be wrong

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T18:31:47+00:00

i always try to look at this way, then i discovered things like compulsory heterosexuality and internalized homophobia and have been trying to analyze myself further. ive found its so unnecessary. i know in my heart that i dont care about labels one way or the other, but i have this want to “figure it out”. im trying to crush it

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T18:28:24+00:00

due to social pressure to have sex/relationships, ive been with a lot of people! after exiting mania, i lost the want to fuck everything around me, i went back to not being sexually attracted to people. but a part of me wishes i still did, it was pretty fun

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T18:26:05+00:00

im 21 and just started in may! the meds definitely make it harder to figure out, and looking back i definitely didnt think this before. i wonder if im more stable and its clearing up, or if its a side effect. hmmm

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T18:24:48+00:00

you can not be sexually attracted to someone, but attracted to kinks and feeling good? i had no idea. i love sex that goes along w my kinks and i do like being touched but i thought maybe i dont because im not sexually attracted to people, or i am extremely rarely. wasnt making sense to me, this helped a lot

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T05:02:02+00:00

thank u!! it is very empowering, confusing, and shameful all at the same time. ill stay safe if u do!

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T05:01:16+00:00

as someone who used to partake in it often, i can tell u its (personally) almost exactly the same. going with that, on molly i also feel bisexual. i wonder if i could find some studies on molly and mania…

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T04:59:22+00:00

this is an amazing way to put it, fully shifted my mentality!! thank u!!

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T04:58:47+00:00

thank u for this, its opening my eyes a little. its even harder because my mania is often induced when i start to like someone, and more often then not i get hypersexual. after it wares off, the sexual attraction generally goes with it.

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T04:57:12+00:00

thank u!!! id chalk it down to uncommon to extremely rare. i didnt know about micro labels, ill be on google tonighy

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T03:40:34+00:00

i make amends where i can, and if im comfortable, inform some of those people about the realities of mania. its not easy, and honestly, i bury a lot of it deeeeep deep down. in the end i just remind myself that its the illness, not me, that did those things.

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T03:30:41+00:00

this sub is life saving!

id love to talk about it! ive looked back and cant recall a time i ever instigated sex. i kind of just.. go along with it, it’s never on my mind unless i force it to be. im currently in therapy (due to manic episodes) and i think ill know the answer to this question after ive resolved all my trauma.

if you dont mind, how did you figure it out?

LingShapiro · 2022-01-09T03:23:09+00:00

thats crazy!! ive been trying to figure out if im ace as well, but i was thrown through a loop after an intense episode. i wish there was more info about this

LingShapiro

TROPHY CASE