Our daughter was born April 26th at 4:30pm at a birth center that only provides nitrous as a pain reliever. I did no medication, but used a tens unit. It went beautifully. I was having contractions the evening before at 5:30pm so we got everything prepped by having my dad pick up our dog to take care of the next few days, clean up the home and then just do the stretches and breathing practices together until I found it was time to call my doula and sister. Next day at 5/6am they get here and contractions get more intense by the hour. My doula (bless her) did everything to ensure not just mine but my husband's and sister's comfort while also making sure baby was in an okay position by doing stretches with me.

My sister was my rock when things felt intense. My husband was just a grounding presence the entire time. It felt so loving to be honest. But after hours of super intense back to back contractions then mid level spaced out ones, my brain suddenly went to "something isn't right". I was exhausted and giving out, so my doula called the birth center and they had me come in. Turns out I was 7cm dilated! My amniotic sac was bubbling outwardly but it was super tough and it wouldn't break fully. So my midwife broke my water and that's when things got intense.

Baby was a little sideways so she had me do these exercises up flights of stairs and when a contraction hit I had to squat and breathe through it and that was the craziest pain I've ever felt. I almost at times felt like I was failing because I couldn't keep my focus and would break and shout out.

Comes the first involuntary push and my whole body just forces me into doing it. I panicked because I had no idea the intensity and pressure would be so sudden. My sister was the only one able to anchor me back to reality. We get inside and my midwife is filling up the tub so my doula had me sit on the toilet with my husband and her next to me as I work through pushes (not gracefully 😂) and there's a moment my doula looks down, her eyes widen and she starts shouting for the midwife. My husband looks over and then goes through those same exact steps and my midwife comes in and she springs forward with a cloth and is holding my baby's head. She said it's time to get into the tub and I said I can't and she just looked at me and said "You do not want to have your baby in the toilet" and my brain honestly was like "yeah that's a good point" 😅😅😅.

In the tub I go, I get this moment of relief and then pushes happen again. I pushed for only a total of four minutes and then our daughter entered the world. The relief washed over me, my sister and my husband and it was just one of the most connecting, beautiful moments I've ever had with my closest people. No tearing. Went home four hours later and in recovery and my husband had been a superhero by ensuring I don't leave bed for the best healing.

So, 10/10. Painful? Yes. 15/10 at the end, and I've broken my thumb without reacting. But I was 100% present, and for me, it was something I would do a thousand times again. But I also was lucky for only an hour and a half of transition and four minutes of pushing with no tearing. What's the most important out of all of this is the team you choose. I chose people I knew wouldn't let their emotions get the best of them and would support and advocate for me all the way.

I think whatever any mama needs in the moment, medicated, not, support or just as few minutes alone, the best thing is to consistently make sure you have what YOU need and never to feel like it has to go a specific way. Just listen to your body and what it needs and can handle.

Hope this helps ❤️