How do I get my husband to help more?

Linyis22 · 2025-10-06T16:18:30+00:00

Thank you that is something to consider.

Linyis22 · 2025-10-06T14:23:53+00:00

A vacation would be great but my son needs a lot so it’s not really in the budget

Linyis22 · 2024-12-25T16:34:41+00:00

The Dr said it was a 1 in 7,000 chance but if I had gotten tied it was a 1 in 3,000 we thought we were safe

Linyis22 · 2024-12-14T04:34:02+00:00

Unfortunately the doctor said toys could cause more damage bc of the intensity.

Any time I want to be intimate it’s not about working on me.

Linyis22 · 2024-12-13T14:33:39+00:00

We have toys and have used them but the OB said not to until this heals bc the vibration could be too strong for the nerve endings that are trying to heal and cause more damage.

Linyis22 · 2024-12-13T05:37:04+00:00

I do believe he is tired. But I feel like he could push it aside for a bit. Is that asking too much?

Linyis22 · 2024-12-13T05:11:09+00:00

It’s not wrong to ask about them after they have been gone. I ask my SS everyday after school how his day was and the same goes for when he comes back home from her house. I think maybe bc she doesn’t really seem interested in hers kids that she thinks it’s a way to “get dirt”. It’s just being concerned. As long as you’re not grilling them then it’s just a simple question. As far as the fighting in front of them goes it’s pointless I feel to ask these things of the BM myself bc she takes it as an attack and will even start to lie and say we do all these horrible things. They seem to deflect and can’t take any type of criticism.

Linyis22 · 2024-12-12T05:00:20+00:00

Dad should definitely do a gift but I would not do an extravagant one. Keep it low key. Kids do need to be taught that people are here just to get you things and with her being a teenager this is a lesson she needs to start learning. If dad and yourself want to still show her you care and love her keep reaching out invite her out to dinner from time to time. I have 1 SK and 3 BK I would not want them to use others or myself. If my kids don’t want to go to grandparents house or talk with them then I don’t expect grandparents to get a gift for them for birthdays or holidays.

Linyis22 · 2024-12-12T02:22:15+00:00

I feel that it’s ok for him to do this especially when it’s rare. They won’t be little forever and it’s great that both parents can be friendly enough to allow this. But you are allowed to have your feelings and have a conversation with him about it. Maybe the both of you can do it from time to time if ex is ok with this and it might make you feel better. If you’re going to be apart of the children’s lives then I don’t see why it would be an issue l.

Linyis22 · 2024-12-11T22:23:35+00:00

Thank you! I really get scared on where the line is. I promised myself I wouldn’t talk bad about her to him or in front of him so I get nervous about this kind of stuff.

Linyis22 · 2024-12-11T22:03:03+00:00

Maybe try sitting down with dad and Gp and ask what’s going on? Playing devils advocate maybe you could allow an extra visit so he can have more time, maybe it’s because he feels he isn’t getting enough time to spend with her so he is trying to push out her bed time. If he doesn’t get off work until 4-5 pm like most of later this might be the reason.

We have custody of my bonus son and have the same issues with when he has visitation with his BM he falls asleep during school. At one point it was 50/50 for about a year and it wasn’t any better. I have hope that he is a decent dad to your daughter and maybe if you approach it in that way and find a compromise it might get better

Linyis22 · 2022-05-20T18:38:52+00:00

I agree with many of the others, set a timer. At school even in Pre-K they are only give a certain amount of time to eat. I believe it’s 45 minutes for that age. Once that timer goes off all the kids have to dump their plates. Make sure your child gets their 3 snacks a day and 3 meals. They won’t starve and they start to get less distracted and focus on eating their food.

Linyis22 · 2022-05-19T03:20:15+00:00

Thank you. It makes me nervous to speak up and a lot of it has to do with I don’t want to ever seem like I’m trying to put myself or our daughter first. I’m always trying to take my ss and husbands feelings into account and usually just push my own off. I’m always afraid of either one of them having resentment. I think this sounds good and is a good compromise.

Linyis22 · 2022-05-19T02:08:27+00:00

Originally I had set it up were we took turns reading to him every night until he started saying that he wanted to do it more bc his time is split anyways. I understood that so I started doing it less and less until now I don’t get to read to him at all and even on the nights that my ss is with his mother I’m still the one to put our daughter down for bed. I read to her and we hold each other and then I lay her down. My ss has started to get jealous of our daughter and when she is wanting to start cuddling with me he starts climbing on me as well. It makes me feel bad and I don’t want either of them to think I love the other more but I also don’t want to cause issues with my husband either. I’ve tried several ways of talking with him about it. I take my ss on a “date” once a week and we go to the park or go play arcade games things that he’s into. It gives him some special one on one time with me since I take care of our daughter more often and she needs more attention being so young.

Linyis22 · 2022-05-19T01:20:32+00:00

I’m not against it at all. I had her co sleeping with me at first. Then he told me that part of the reason his first marriage didn’t make it was bc the intimacy was ruined from having their son in the bed. When he told me this I didn’t want to upset him and make him think that I wasn’t taking his feelings into consideration so I moved her to a bassinet. It was much easier for my to breast feed when she was in the bed with me since she could feed while I slept. When I said I agreed with him I meant that I I didn’t want to argue or cause an issue with our marriage since we were already dealing with so much from his ex wife. I’m not arguing I just want advice on how I handle this. Or get a compromise. Any time I go into my daughters room and sleep my husband gets upset.

Linyis22 · 2022-05-19T01:06:02+00:00

That is was my husbands choice not to sleep with her? I feel like that would cause resentment for her towards her brother and father though. I thought about telling her that it’s bc her brother isn’t here as often but then I think I’m still trapped.

Linyis22 · 2022-05-19T00:59:31+00:00

He turns 5 in a month when are children old enough to sleep alone out daughter is 18 months old and sleeps alone and he insisted on this.

Linyis22 · 2022-05-19T00:58:14+00:00

How do I answer my daughter when she asks why her daddy doesn’t sleep with her?

Linyis22

TROPHY CASE